More loven than hate, sequel to hate or love
by LovelessDestiny
Summary: AyaYohji, Yaoi When I say Yaoi I mean Yaoi not shonen-ai so no flames please . Weiss get a new team member and Aya must fear about his relationship with Yohji. Will Aya survive his shattered soul and Yohjis careless behaviour? Don't worry no DeathFic.
1. Lovers

I own nothing and I make no money.

Here I am … again. Yeah yeah yeah Aya I know I'm mean, a sadist and … mad Oo hmm maybe, in any case you have to suffer like always. I put my emotions into my storys so sorry for the up and downs

I hope I get some reviews but no flame please.

Oh before I forget when I say "cry" I don't mean the girlish whiny kind … our boy still have their pride and aren't cry babys. So don't get me wrong I don't want to make wimps out of them.

**More love then hate **

It was still early in the morning when Yohji woke up; although the curtains were closed he could see a few sunrays fall into the room which touched the skin of his beautiful lover.

_~ Looks like it will be a nice day, maybe we should go somewhere together…~_

He thought while he watched the young redhead next to him, his back touched Yohjis arm and he could feel the warmth of his beautiful pale body.

_~ Hmmm two months already since the incident, but I'm still relieved when I can hear him breath and feel the warmth of his skin, do you know that I never felt so much fear before… ~_

Yohji wiped a strand out of Ayas face and took him into his arms; Aya laid his head at the chest of his lover and snuggled deep into the warm embrace.

"You're in the mood again?" Aya whispered sleepy with a frustrated tone in his voice.

"Don't worry, not yet" he said soft and tightened his grab.

"Then you had a nightmare again?" Aya asked sleepy.

"No not exactly but it's something like that" he said and kissed Ayas forehead while he stroked trough Ayas hair.

Aya kissed Yohjis chest and said in a serious tone "Nothing will happen to you while I'm here, I will protect you and the kids at any price"

"Yeah I know you will…. I know"

_~ That's the reason I'm afraid ~_

"Let's sleep my love" Aya whispered and fell asleep.

"My love? I will never hear it again huh?" Yohji whispered and grinned "I love you too".

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Ahh damn clock… shut up" Yohji mumbled and killed the clock with his fist.

He turned around and felt that Aya wasn't there he touched the place where the redhead slept and it was already cold.

"Typical of Aya he never stays with me the whole night; we are a couple aren't we?" Yohji sighed and got dressed. He wore blue Jeans and a dark blue long sleeve shirt; he knew that Aya liked the outfit.

He opened the curtains and went to the bath room to take a shower.

While he stood under the shower he closed his eyes, he liked the feeling when the warm water glided down his skin.

_~ Why doesn't he stay with me, what have I done this time, our love is anything but happy._

_I know I should stop flirting but I can't accept the fact that I'm gay not now, at least I stopped to go out._

_He should know that I'm not cheating on him I only flirt and drink that's all, (sigh) ~_

"My insecurity is the reason you can't trust me, right? "He said into the mirror.

Yohji dried his body and got dressed after that he went into the kitchen, he could smell the food before he arrived the kitchen.

It smelled like toast, bacon and coffee, Yohji could only grin he knew the only one who cook something like that early in the morning was Aya, he made it every time when he wants to say sorry.

"Good morning Aya, where are the kids?" he asked and kissed Aya, he put all his love into the kiss.

"Omi went to school, he said something about a project he hasn't finished yet and Ken makes a short trip with his soccer kids" Aya answered and handed the plate over to Yohji.

"That mean we are alone" Yohji said and grinned.

"We are alone but we have work to do so no chance" Aya said and glared at him.

Since they're a couple Aya had a problem with his death-glare, it didn't work anymore he tried so hard to sent his best death-glare to Yohji but what came out was always a half-hearted softy-glare.

"Ahh come on" Yohji said and pulled Aya into a warm embrace "please Aya" he whispered into the redheads ear which sent a shiver through Ayas body, Yohji could feel it.

He kissed Aya with passion, they only parted to breath, Yohji could see the lust in his lovers beautiful violet eyes, he began to kiss Ayas neck and put one hand under Ayas shirt to caress hiss lovers back.

Ayas breath started to be heavy, he took Yohjis head into his hand and pulled him closer to kiss him rough "here or upstairs ´" Aya whispered into Yohjis ear before he licked his earlobe.

"here" Yohji panted, Aya grinned and put off Yohjis shirt, he kissed him and wandered down his neck and chest, he stopped a while to suck and lick Yohjis nipples, with his hands he caress Yohjis hips.

He liked it to tease Yohji; he could feel Yohji --------- press against him so Aya wandered down his belly and opened his lovers Jeans to put it off.

He took Yohjis ------------------- into his mouth and licked and sucked it, he could feel Yohjis burning skin while he touched Ayas hair.

Aya started to caress Yohjis ----------- "Aya stop, ….it's my turn" Yohji panted heavily.

Yohji put off Ayas clothes and kissed him, he rubbed Ayas ------------------- into Aya "ahnn" then the second "Yohji please hurry" Aya begged.

Yohji pressed Aya against the next wall and lifted him up; Aya entangled his legs around Yohjis hips and held him tight with his hands.

Yohji inserted his --------------- careful into Aya; he tightened his grab around Yohji and moaned

"Hot" Yohji kissed Aya and --------------------------- lover "aahnn,…Yohji… -------".

Yohji grinned, he knew Aya would ask for that but though he knew it he loved it to tease Aya. He wanted to hear it from his lover, normally he held his voice back so it's one of the rare chances to hear the redheads beautiful deep voice.

Yohji ---------------------- his lover "hnn" he panted, he was near his limits.

"Aya I love you" Yohji whispered into Ayas ears and --------------, Yohjis hot breath and sexy voice were enough for Aya to -------------- with Yohji together.

Both sat on the floor in a tight embrace and heavy panting, Aya wiped gentle a strand out of Yohjis face "I love you too" he said and rested his head against Yohjis strong chest.

"Let's take a shower before we open the shop, ok?" Yohji said and kissed Ayas forehead,

"Ok" he answered and collected his clothes together.

Yohji washed gently Ayas body and his hair, like he always did after they had done it, he loved the smell of Ayas rose shampoo and orchid shower foam in his opinion it was the perfect smell for his lover.

He watched how the water glided down Ayas soft and pale skin, it was a beautiful sight but he didn't notice that Aya did the same while he washed Yohjis strong and perfect body; he watched the water touch his lovers skin.

"It's time to open the shop" Yohji sighed he didn't like all the screaming and giggling girls though it was always great for his ego how the girls adore him.

"Eat your breakfast I will open the shop, come when you're ready" Aya said cold but Yohji knew how he meant it.

"It's cold… but it was worth it" he grinned and put his plate into the microwave.


	2. broken soul

"Buy something or get along with you!" Aya yelled after the girls rushed into the shop to disturb the peace.

"Yohji stop flirting and work" he hissed, he hated it, the way the girls touched Yohji and the way they tried to seduce him but the most painful thing was they were successful.

Yohji flirted with six girls within 30 minutes; he got 4 telephone numbers and a kiss from a beautiful woman with long black hair, slander body and really big boobs.

She flirted with Yohji and tried to touch him when she got the chance, she tried every way to seduce him, she smiled innocent, she played with her long hair and she showed off her big boobs.

For one moment Aya thought about to throw his scissor at her but contained himself at the last moment.

_~ No I can't kill her for that, it's Yohjis fault for letting her believe he's single._

_Why does he do this all the time, it hurts, you have me …. Damn it._

_What the …. Don't dare to kiss her …. YOHJI! ~_

"Ok take a deep breath, I should put the scissor away just to be safe" Aya whispered shocked, he didn't understand how Yohji could do something like that, why didn't he stop her before it came to this.

After he got a grip on himself he saw Omi and Ken, they stood at the door with a shocked and confused expression, and they looked at Aya with pity in their eyes.

That was too much for Aya his wall broke, his hands shook and he turned pale, he felt that when he didn't go out of this he will start to cry and that was one of the last things he wanted, not in front of the kids, not in front of Yohji.

_~ Don't cry, not here not yet… I want to be away I want …. God~_

Aya thought and throw the beautiful bouquet he had made into the trash bin.

He rushed out of the shop and ran five blocks before he stopped, without he noticed he stood in the middle of the small park Yohji liked so much.

He saw the Sakura tree where he and Yohji sat on sunny days, normally Yohji leant against the tree and Aya would sit between his lover's legs, with his back leaning against Yohjis chest.

When Aya remembered it he could feel Yohjis touch, his warmth and his smell, the memories and the exhaustion from the sprint made him throw up.

"God Yohji how could you do something like that?" Omi yelled.

"I don't know she kissed me and I was surprised …I couldn't move" Yohji said shocked.

"Sure" Ken said in a sarcastic tone "you didn't notice something like that could happen when you flirt with her like crazy".

"It wasn't my intension" he answered sheepish.

_~ I talked with her how couldn't I notice that she was flirting with me, why let I come __it this far._

_I felt that Aya watched me, I was incredible happy that he had only eyes for me but I let her kiss me I'm stupid, stupid, stupid why can't I accept that I'm gay why must I still show the girls how cool I am ~_

"Isn't he at home yet?" Ken asked worried.

"No he's away for 3 hours" Omi answered sad "It's cold now and it started to rain"

"Don't worry, Aya will take care of himself" Ken said to comfort Omi but failed.

"He only wears a shirt, he will freeze to death" he murmured, Ken squeezed Omis shoulder and smiled at him.

Omi kissed Kens hand and smiled sad back "do you think he will come home?"

"I'm sure Omi he will come back we are his family and he's so damn overprotective he will never leave us alone for more than a few hours" Ken laughed and this time he cheered Omi up.

Aya sat under the Sakura tree in the driving rain and stared at the sunset sky.

His eyes were still red but he couldn't cry any more, now the rain was crying for him.

He couldn't feel the cold anymore, he felt nothing and his mind was completely blank.

He thought about so many things he couldn't stand it anymore it hurt to much so he build a new protective wall around him, this time he won't let his guard down.

"………" Aya saw Yohji appear in front of him, he moved his lips but Aya couldn't hear him and he didn't want to hear him.

"AYA can you hear me hey" Yohji said and touched Ayas shoulder, he was so cold and pale.

"Aya please talk to me …. Aya" he whispered and lifted Aya up, he carried him all the way home.

"Oh my … Aya, how is he?" Omi gasped.

"He's running a fever and he isn't responsive" Yohji said in a sad tone "Omi please prepare tea and food for him, I think he will need it"

"Ok, Ken can you help me?" Omi said and glared at him "Sure" he answered.

"Why do you want my help?" Ken asked confused.

"They need time together to fix the mess and I think it's better to stay out of their way for a while" Ken kissed Omi "I think you're right" he said after they parted their lips "don't worry Omi they will fix it".

Yohji changed Ayas clothes and put him gently into his bed; after he covered him up he sat at the arm chair near Ayas bed.

He watched him for a while, but he was still so pale and cold "What have I done?" Yohji whispered and touched Ayas sleeping face.

He crawled under the blanket and took Aya into his arms, he tried to warm him with his own body heat, but the main reason was he couldn't stand the thought to be apart from his love, he needed it to be near the redhead.

_~ Why is it so warm, Yohji…. It's Yohjis smell. I __knew he would be there …that make me happy._

_I had plenty of time to think about it and I think I over reacted._

_Now when I think about it Yohji always kept an eye on me when he talked with her, or not?!_

_I lost the faith in you …please help me to get my faith in you back ~_

Yohji snuggled against Ayas shoulder and when Aya opened his eyes he could see Yohjis beautiful face.

_~ Tears? You cried? ~_

Aya wiped a strand out of Yohjis face and watched him for a while.

"Cough…..cough" Aya put his hand in front of his mouth, he didn't want to wake Yohji but he was too loud.

"Aya you're ok?" Yohji asked worried and pulled him into an upright position "better?"

"Yeah I think I caught a cold, that's all" he answered and tried not to look at Yohji.

"Aya I'm sorry It wasn't my intension to hurt you, I don't know I noticed that your eyes followed me I was so happy about that, I- I talked with her but didn't notice that she wanted more… I-I swear I would never do something to hurt you on purpose … I'm so sorry" Yohji whispered and started to cry.

"I over reacted it wasn't your fault" Yohji looked confused "What? No you had the right to be angry; I mean I let her kiss me…" Aya raised a hand "but you had the most time only eyes for me or?" Aya asked serious.

"Yeah I had" Aya wiped Yohjis tears away and kissed him "I lost my faith in you ….I'm sorry …can you help me to rebuilt the faith" he whispered into Yohjis ear.

Yohji was shocked but he new that he can be happy that Aya was still his lover "from now on I will never hurt you again I will take care of you and I will protect you!" he said and pulled Aya into an embrace. "Omi prepared food and tea I will fetch it okay?" Aya smiled "Ok".


	3. new member

"Good morning Aya, you're ok?" Omi asked worried.

"Yeah the cold is gone and everything is ok" Aya answered with a little smile, he knew Omi wanted to know if the problem is solved.

"Hey morning boys" Yohji said happy and stroke through Omis hair "you're a nosy little boy" he laughed "oh don't look at me like that Ken I know he's yours" Ken blushed so hard he looked like a tomato, Aya couldn't deny a chuckle.

"Hey Balinese we don't pay you for dirty jokes" the boys turned around and they didn't like what they saw, Manx.

"What do you want?" Aya asked harsh "oh Abyssinian that's hurt I could think you don't like me!" she said in a disgusted tone but they knew it was a play.

"We are building a new assassin team but we want that the new members gain experience"

"And?" Ken asked suspicious.

"And you will get a new team member for a few months" she said in an innocent tone.

"She will come tomorrow at 10 a.m. take good care of her, ohh and we have a new job for you, bye, bye".

"A new team member I don't like the idea" Yohji nagged.

"I think no one of us likes the idea but we have no choice" Aya said thoughtful.

"Hey Manx said the new member will be a girl, where should she sleep?"

"On the couch!" Yohji said cold "Ah you know we can't do that" Omi said reproachful but smiled at the thought.

"She won't get my room" Ken grouched.

"I don't let her near my room" Yohji said serious.

"No Aya please don't give her my room" Omi begged, he thought that when the older boys won't give her their room that he had to make room for her.

"Don't worry Omi she can have my room" Aya said in a cold tone and pated Omis shoulder.

"And where do you want to sleep?" Ken asked a bit irritated.

"On the couch" he answered in a casual tone.

"No I won't let you sleep on the couch, you will sleep with me in my room" Yohji said and let no space for arguments.

"Ok that's better as the couch" Aya grinned and took a cup of tea "I have the feeling we will get a lot of trouble" the boys only nodded, they were really unhappy.

"Here they are" Ken said disgusted and rolled his eyes.

"Oh my" Yohji said and he looked at her in a way Aya didn't like, so he punched softly against Yohjis shoulder and glared at him, but when he turned around to look at her, he understood Yohjis reaction.

"YOU?!" Aya was totally shocked "I wish I had thrown the scissor" he muttered "What?" Yohji asked confused "nothing" he answered cold.

"Don't worry Aya you're more beautiful than her and you're the one I love" he whispered and patted Ayas head.

"Hi I'm Chika" the young woman introduced herself "wow I will work with four hot boys, I' m a lucky girl"

"Behave yourself!" Manx interfered "sorry boys but she has bad manners".

"She will learn it!" Aya said in a tone cold as ice, he didn't like her he didn't know why but something is wrong with her and the fact that she kissed Yohji wasn't the only reason.

"So the last time you said you have a job for us?" Aya asked.

"Yeah your target is a drug baron but you can kill him next week we will give you time to get to know Chika" she smiled "we will sent you the information in a few days, bye".

"So where is my room" she asked happily.

"You will sleep in my room" Aya said cold "come with me".

"Oh what a shame I thought I can sleep in blondis room, he's a good kisser" she said in an innocent tone and made big eyes "**You** kissed **me**" Yohji snapped and glared at her "**he** will sleep in my room"

"You don't need to snap at me it was only a question, but I love pretty things maybe I can change your mind" she said and throw a `take me` look at him, Yohji was relieved that Aya couldn't see it from his position; Yohji was sure if Aya had seen it she were a dead girl.

"Chika!" Aya yelled, he was so pissed he thought he will kill her right here right now "yeah I'm coming" she said and waved at Yohji.

"Now I'm sure we are in trouble" Ken whined.

"Oh yeah" Omi said shocked about her behaviour "Yohji be careful I think she's dangerous for your relationship with Aya"

"I think you're right, … I don't like her and when she tries to interfere with my relationship I will kill her" Yohji said and the boys could see a dangerous glitter in his emerald eyes.

"So you're Aya right?" she asked sanctimoniously.

"Aa" Aya muttered and ignored her.

"You don't like me right? "She said and touched Ayas chest "what can I do to fix that?"

"Don't touch me" Aya hissed and pushed her hand away "I don't like it"

"Oh, why? Am I not pretty enough?"

"That's not it I hate it to be touched by people" Aya said serious and she decided to stop for today but maybe she can have her way with the blond guy.

Yohji stood at the floor and watched the scenario, he was so jealous he could explode but he knew Aya would never betray him with her.

_~ I'm the only one who can touch him, I'm the only one who can break his shell but you will learn our rules soon enough~_

He thought and went into his own room.

"She's getting on my nerves" Yohji sighed.

"She will learn our rules" Omi said confidently.

"Hm I don't know" Ken whined but Omi only laughed "Aya will make sure that she will learn it" Yohji and Ken thought about it and nodded satisfied.

They stopped talking but after they saw it was only Aya who entered the kitchen they were relieved.

"Hey Aya what do you want for dinner?" Omi asked cheerful.

"I don't have a wish cook what you want" he said in a soft tone and took the chair next to Yohji "I don't like her, she's dangerous and we know nothing about her" he said frustrated.

"Don't worry we will find a way" Yohji said and patted Ayas back.

"Hey boys" she said while she grabbed a cup of coffee "am I a bother?"

"No" Omi said in a disgusted tone "of course not" Yohji wondered when the kid learned to lie like an expert.

"Good, what will we eat for dinner?"

"Spaghetti" Omi said dry he wasn't in the mood to cook something special, not for her.

"Great" she said and walked to Yohji "there are only four chairs so can I sit on your lap?" Ayas eyes widened but he was relieved about Yohjis answer.

"Sorry girl but you can't" she grinned "come on I need a place to sit and you're so tall"

"I said no" Yohji started to be angry and then she caress his back, for one moment Omi thought that Yohji will strangle her with his wire.

"You can have my chair" Aya said and stood up "thanks" she said and touched his cheek while she walked to the chair "don't touch" Aya warned her and sent a death-glare.

"Ok, ok" she said in a mocking tone.

"Chika" Ken said "tell us how you fight"

"Poison … I throw poisoned needles" she said proud and self-confident.

"Poison, not bad" Yohji said surprised, Aya said nothing he only looked at her and tried to estimate her.

"And what's your nickname … we need to know how we should call you on a job" Ken asked interested.

"It's Kitty" Chika said proud

"Kitty? That's a joke right?" Yohji said confused

"No ... why?" she asked, she couldn't understand why her nickname was strange

"It sounds so … so harmless" Ken said but he knew that she was everything but harmless … no.

"But I'm not harmless" she said disgusted.

"We know that you're not harmless" Aya interfered "and with that the conversation is finished"

"I will prepare the dinner, Aya sit down I will get a chair from the mission room later" Omi said and began to cook.

"Thanks Omi" Aya said cold "So why do you checked out the shop before?"

"I was curious, I wanted to know who will care for me the next few months" she said in a childish tone.

"Dinner is ready" Omi said and came with a bowl full with Spaghetti.

"Omi you're a great cook for a kid" Chika said amazed.

"Thanks" Omi said confused, he didn't know if it was a compliment or when she tried to piss him off.

"Omi is talented" Yohji said and gave Omi a warm smile.

Aya started to clear up "can I help you" Chika asked but Aya shook his head and it was the only answer she got.

"Oh my, he must really hate me" she mocked "Aya isn't social" Ken explained "he doesn't like it when people talk too much or touch him but you will learn it soon enough" he grinned satisfied by the thought that Aya will kick her ass when she should mess up a mission.

"Good night boys I'm tired" Yohji said and yawned

_~ I can't stand it to hear her voice any longer, she's getting on my nerves ~_

"Hey Aya do you need help before I go to bed" Yohji asked in a soft tone and smiled.

"You can towel the dishes" Aya answered in a perky tone "Omi check the mails I have the feeling Manx send the information's already! … Now" he glared at Omi.

This time Omi was happy about Ayas order, because he knew Aya tried to save him from her and now it was his turn to save Ken.

"I'm on my way, Ken come with me!" Omi said in a hard tone and smiled after they were out of the room.

"She's a devil" Ken sighed "maybe one day she will be a part of us …. Don't look at me like I'm a freak … I only said it to feel better" Omi whispered and scratched his head.

Aya and Yohji finished the dish washing and went straight into their room.

"Hey Aya come to bed" Yohji said gentle "what do you think about her, Yohji?" Yohji was surprised by the question but his opinion about her was clear "I don't like her, I think it's all an act" Aya went to bed and put one arm around Yohjis chest "I think the same, I think we should keep an eye on her" Yohji kissed Ayas forehead gently "I think you're right but before we do that can we play a bit?" Yohji grinned, his grin was so beautiful Aya couldn't say no "but not so loud I don't want that she will hear it" Aya said and kissed Yohji with passion.

He kissed Yohjis neck, to feel Ayas hot breath against his skin drove him crazy, Aya wandered down to Yohjis chest to bite gently his nipples, Aya grinned against his chest as he heard Yohjis moan with pleasure. "Ahh A-Aya l-let's change the p-position" Yohji panted with a bright smile on his face, Aya knew what his lover wanted so he turned around to --------- Yohjis --------------while Yohji took Ayas ---------------------- in his ---- mouth. (A/N: 69 ^^)

Aya licked his lover ------- caress with one hand ------------- he took the ----------back into his mouth and ----------------- back and forth, he could feel Yohji hips rock back and forth with his movements. Yohji could hear Aya moan and pant with pleasure while Yohji --------------- his ---- flesh. He inserted ---------- into Ayas perfect --------------- "aahhh" he moaned "Yohji p-please" Yohji knew it "what do you want, t-tell me" Aya blushed "I-I want y- you inside me, fill me w- with your ---------------------" he begged. Yohji put his fingers out and hugged him from behind, he kissed his neck and licked his hot and salty skin, Ayas breath was heavy and his skin was burning, Yohji knew when he tease him any longer it will drive him over the edge. He turned Aya around and kissed him rough before he inserted his -------------- the redhead. Aya tilt his head back and moaned as he felt Yohji in his -----------, Yohji loved the sight of his lover when he can see the lust and pleasure in his eyes, it made him ------------ --------- his lover, Ayas hips rocked -------------- with every ------------ Yohji did Aya came near to ------------. Yohji saw that Aya was on his limit and the same valid for him, his -------- started to be faster ---------------- "Aya I'm…" Aya only nodded his mind went blank he couldn't talk or think clearly. "Ahhhh" they came at the same time Aya could feel Yohjis -------- jerk in ------------ release of his lovers --------------. Yohji at the same time felt Aya shiver and his ------------- on his chest, he fell on top of Aya and stroke trough his hair. Aya put an arm around Yohjis back and with the other hand he held Yohjis head against his chest "Don't worry Aya I'm not interested in her" he said before he fell asleep.

Aya heard Yohjis soft snore "good night my love" he whispered and kissed his forehead.

_~ Sometimes I think __you can read my mind, were my worries that obvious?!_

_I hope you didn't lie to me ~_

Aya thought as he got a towel and water to clean Yohji, after he cleaned Yohji he took a shower.


	4. Discord

"Good morning" Chika said in an overacted happy tone.

"Morning" the boys said in a played polite tone, they hoped she would sleep longer but to the detriment of our boys she isn't a late riser.

"You will work with us at the shop" Aya said cold and gave her a little glare.

"Sure I think it will be fun with whom will I work?" she asked while she took a cup of coffee, she walked behind Yohji and sat down on a chair next to him.

"With me" Aya said and could see her disappointment "I will see you at the shop in 10 minutes" her smile disappeared "10 minutes? I'm not ready yet" the boys smiled, they new Aya will take care of her in his own Aya like way.

"Come on give me 30 minutes, okay" she yelled but Ayas only answer before he left the kitchen was "8 minutes left".

"What was that why is he so bitchy" she said disgusted "He is the leader his word is our law" Yohji explained and grinned, he loved the way Aya showed her who was the boss.

She was angry and stormed out of the kitchen "oh she's angry" Ken joked "I think it will be a hard day for her" Omi and Yohji nodded with an evil grin, they hoped that it will be a really, really hard day.

"Stop flirting and work" Aya hissed "help the older lady, water the potted plant and then we will practice to make bouquets" her eyes widened, she never thought It could be this hard to be a florist and she never got the idea that the beautiful redhead could be this frightened "Buy something or get along with you!"

"Hey how was your day" Yohji asked and smiled at her "he's fearsome" she said sheepish and went into her room, she was dead tired.

"And?" Ken and Omi asked expectant "she's tired and frightened Aya did a good job" Yohji laughed satisfied "I think she will work on her behaviour from now on" the boys only grinned and went hand in hand into Omis room.

"She's a bother" Aya sighed; Yohji smiled at him and kissed his forehead "You did a good job, she's afraid of you and she was nice to us".

"Do you start to like her?" Aya asked annoyed "Aya she will live with us for a while, we will get used to her … do you remember? At the beginning we didn't love you either"

Now Aya was really angry "You compare me with her" he yelled "Aya you know how I meant it …" Yohji said peeved but he regretted it soon that he hadn't answered friendlier.

"Why do we always fight" Aya muttered and went out of the room; he needed time to think, time to sort things out. Yohji couldn't move there was so much pain in Ayas eyes and his voice sounded resigned.

_~ Why can't I rebuild the faith you lost, what is it what you need, what should I do or say! You never complain it doesn't matter what I did to you or what the others did you won't say a thing, you always take the things how they come._

_You dam all your emotions up to the point you will break like the day I found you under the Sakura tree._

_And I have the bad feeling the next time, you will break once and for all ~_

Aya stood on the roof and watched the street, he liked it to watch all the people on the street, he could see so many things while he watched, he saw parents with their kids, couples, businessmen, school kids and they all ran out of the rain.

_He was straight what will happen when Yohji will notice one day that he isn't gay?_

_More__often__than__not_ _I'm afraid when he talks with beautiful women!_

_I'm afraid that my cold heart could drive him away__!_

_I try so hard to be a loving partner but I'm not good at it ~_

He sighed and looked at the sky; the clouds were dark like his mind.

Aya closed his eyes and let the rain drops touch his skin, it was cold but he needed the time in the rain, it was like it washed parts of his fears away at least for a little while.

Yohji woke up after he heard a loud noise, he needed a while to record that someone knocked on his door. "Who's there?" Yohji asked sleepy "It's me" he recognized Omis soft voice.

"Come in, …what do you want?" Yohji was confused Omi looked so sad and angry at the same time "you guys had a fight again?" the young boy asked but it was more a realisation than a question. "Not really, … why?" Yohji was awake now "Aya is sleeping on the couch and he's wet and cold, I think he stood on the roof again" Omi sighed "Yohji do something" and went out of the room.

Yohji got dressed and ran down the stairs by a hair he had raced round the young girl "sorry" Yohji said casual, she looked confused but ignored the incident.

He was breathless as he arrived at the living room, he saw Aya huddled up on the couch, he looked pale but peaceful. Yohji took a woollen blanket and covered Aya up "Sleep in my room, if you want I can stay away from my room for a while" he whispered and went out of the living room; Yohji knew Aya had noticed his presence.

"Morning Yohji" Ken said and gave him a suspicious look "everything ok?"

"I don't know" he answered and gave him a sad smile "but I can't stand it anymore".

"What do you mean?" Ken asked surprised "we always fight, we are still like a cat and a dog" Yohji said with an unbearable sad voice.

"We should make a plan for our next job, Manx sent the info's already" Omi interfered, he didn't like the way the conversation had developed.

"I made a plan last night" Aya said, he stood at the door and watched them, the boys turned around with a shocked expression "oh ok" Omi stuttered "I will explain it after we had breakfast" he said and took a cup of tea.

"How long do you stood there?" Omi asked a bit worried "not long why?" Aya answered confused, he looked into his cup and blew the steam of the hot liquid away so he couldn't see their relieved faces.

"No reason, I just hadn't heard you" Omi said and it wasn't a lie, not really.

"Hey boys" Chika said careful, after she saw that Aya was in a really bad mood.

"When will the mission start" she asked with a shy smile "tomorrow 11 p.m." Aya answered serious. "Can I come with you?" she didn't know if it was a bad question but she wanted to know "of course you're a part of our team" he said in a harsh tone.

"We will wait in front of his hiding-place Yohji and I will take the side entrance, Chika and the kids will take the back entrance, our meeting place will be at the 2nd floor" Aya looked at his teammates to make sure they understood their parts at the plan "Questions? … No? Ok" he said and went upstairs into Yohjis room.

"Hey Yohji why can't we work together, nothing against you boys but I feel secure when Yohji is there" she explained her reason but without any success "I'm Ayas back-up I have been it and will remain it also always" he said and went out of the kitchen but she wasn't happy about the answer and ran after him "hey wait, why you're so stubborn when it comes to Aya it's not that you're gay or?" Yohji was shocked he didn't know what to say, he didn't want that the people know that he's gay, he wasn't ready for a coming out. "I'm not gay but Aya is our leader and I'm his friend, rule one Weiss is like a family take care of everyone and everyone will take care of you" he said serious "then it's ok when I kiss you?" she asked innocent and came closer to Yohji "no you can't" he said and smiled but she wasn't interested in a `no`, she kissed him all of a sudden "hnn … stop it I said NO … damned" he yelled and pushed her away, he turned around to go away but stopped, there was Aya, he stood in front of Yohjis room and watched the whole disaster.

"Aya!" Yohji gasped "I hope you had fun" Aya said in a cold tone it looked like he didn't care about the kiss and the `I'm not gay thing` "I want to sleep so whispers sweet nothings more quietly" he said and walked into the room.

"Aya wait" but it was to late he closed the door and locked it "… sorry" Yohji whispered.

Aya sat on the bed, his back leant against the wall, he put his arms around his knees and rested his forehead on his knees. "Do I make you so unhappy? (Sob) I knew I'm to cold I'm a bother now I drove you away (sob) I drove you into the arms of that damn girl" Aya whispered while his hot tears ran down his cheeks.

_~ The pain in your eyes, was it my fault? …. Of course it was! And your voice when you told Ken that you can't stand me anymore, it was so unbearable sad. Everything is my fault … your always afraid … to hurt me … to say something wrong you can't be free as long as I'm with you …. One day I will break you ~_

"YOU DID WHAT?" Omi yelled furious "I don't believe it"

"Yohji you're stupid what were you thinking" Ken said frustrated "I thought you love him" Yohji knew they were right, but it was too late, Aya closed the door that meant he didn't want to see him he won't give him the chance to explain.

"I go and get him, we have a job to do" Omi said but didn't deign to look at him.

"Aya?" Omi knocked at the door but got no answer "Aya…" Omi was surprised as Aya opened the door, he wore his "work clothes" and his Katana "I'm ready, we can go" he said cold;

Omi was shocked, Aya acted as if nothing had happened and that was a bad sign, Omi thought.

"CHIKA LET'S GO" Aya yelled while he walked through the floor "y-yes sir" she said sheepish, he was so fearsome and beautiful at the same time, so that's the grand Abyssinian, she thought.

They drove 15 minutes before they arrived the place of destination "Ok let's go, Omi, Ken take care of her, we can't lose her at the first mission" he whispered "sure, … and Aya" Aya turned around and looked at the kids "yeah?" they didn't know how to say it "be careful" they said finally; Aya smiled and nodded "I haven't planned to die".


	5. broken heart

They reached the 2nd floor without problems, there were only a few guards and Omi hadn't any problems to paralyse the alarm system, but that was a thing to worry about.

"It's too easy" Aya whispered "yeah you're right" Yohji agreed and at the same moment they heard heavy footsteps "a trap" Aya yelled "take your positions".

They made a spring at the guards, Aya slit a young guard open, Yohji strangled 2 guards and slit through the carotid artery of an old guard.

Chika killed 4 guards with the needles, the poison was really effective Omi and Ken were amazed. After they killed the guards on the floor they searched for the target and they found him only after a few minutes.

"You won't get me" the target yelled "we have you already" Yohji hissed and glared at the target "hahaha do you really think I will let you kill me that easily" he grinned like crazy "I will take you with me" he put a remote control out of his pocket and pushed the button.

The ventilation released a gas "OUT HERE" Aya yelled and they ran, the target pulled a weapon and followed them.

Aya stopped for a while he wanted to make sure that his teammates were in front of him, he was afraid to lose someone. "Damn it the doors are locked, I can hack into the system but I need time" Omi said worried "Ok we will cover you but hurry up before the gas reaches us" Aya said cold but he could see in his eyes that he was worried too.

`click` Omi was relived as he heard the soft click of the lock he turned around to look at his team "Ok the doors are open" Omi yelled but all of a sudden they saw fear in his eyes and turned around, there was the target and he pointed with the gun at Yohji.

Aya walked a step forward "you can't kill all of us" he said "I know but I can take one of you with me" the target said self-confident "I won't let you kill one of my friends" and slowly but steady Aya shoved himself between Yohji and the gun.

Omi, Ken and Chika stood already on the other side of the door, but Yohji and Aya were still at the floor

"Get out of here" Aya whispered to Yohji and the others "no we won't let you stay behind" Omi said determined "Omi is right" Ken said "but he said we should go so we should take notice of his order" Chika said, she was afraid and wanted nothing more than to save her ass.

"She's right" Aya whispered and pushed Yohji trough the door "GET OUT" he yelled and headed for the target "AYA NOO" Yohji screamed but it was too late they lost sight contact because of the fog.

"Yohji come on" Omi yelled, he took Yohjis hand and led him out of the building.

Yohji was shocked he couldn't think, he didn't know how he got out of the building, the only thing he knew was that he lost his loved one, Omi put a hand on Yohjis shoulder and squeezed it gently. Ken said nothing he tried not to cry but he could feel that he won't win against the tears.

"Come on let's go it's creepy here" she said without a whiff of sadness in her voice, Yohji tried hard to eliminate the urge to strangle her.

`CLANG` they heard a window shatter, they ran as fast as they could "AYA" Yohji screamed happy, while the young man tried to stand up, Yohji grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug "god I thought I lost you … don't do that again" he whispered "Aya smiled and past out in Yohjis arms; Yohji carried him to the car "Ken drive faster we don't know how the gas affect his body" Omi said and looked to the back seat, where Aya lay within Yohjis strong arms. Yohji could feel how blood dripped out of a wound at Ayas shoulder but he kept quiet, the kids were worried enough.

They waited two hours at the waiting room, Yohji paced the whole time up and down he couldn't sit still. "Yohji please sit down you make me crazy" Ken sighed "please", Yohji looked at him for a while before he fell on a chair.

"Balinese!" The doctor called, Yohji stood up like flesh and went to her.

"What did he do this time, you should take care of him" she said reproachful.

"I know … he's a regular guest" Yohji gave her a weak smile, he knew her, she was one of Kritikers doctors and she always made jokes about Aya being a regular.

"Don't worry" she smiled at him "the bullet wound isn't that bad it will heal in a few weeks, the scratches aren't bad either, but the gas he inhaled makes me worry"

"Why?" Yohji asked with panic in his voice.

"He hasn't inhaled it long enough that he will die but it affected his lung, it will heal but it needs time and it could be that he will be troubled with difficulty in breathing" she said in a soft tone and patted Yohjis shoulder "You can see him now".

"Kids take Chika and go home ok?" he smiled weak "Inform us when you will come home" Omi said before they went out of the hospital.

"Hey" Yohji said when he entered Ayas room "you're ok?"

"I'm fine" he said and closed his eyes, after he felt a weight next to him he opened them again, Yohji sat on his bed and took his hand into his own.

"Why do we only have the chance to speak when you're sick" he said with a low voice and kissed Ayas pale and soft hand.

"I didn't want to kiss her a second time please believe me" he whispered but Aya didn't look at him, he only stared at the ceiling.

Yohji thought he won't get an answer but after a few minutes Aya looked at him again

"I know, I saw that you pushed her away and I could see it in your eyes" he said with a hoarse voice "cough… cough" Yohji pulled Aya into a upright position and hugged him "better?" he asked. "Yeah better" he panted, Yohji was relieved and kissed Ayas forehead, he had the urge to do that and he knew Aya needed care.

"Why do you fought that hard against the reproach of being gay" Aya asked all of a sudden,

Yohji didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to explain it "I'm overcharged with the thought of being gay, … I'm not ready for a coming out …. You preferred always men but I … I was straight and then you appeared in my life and everything was different" Yohji said and closed his eyes he couldn't stand it to see Ayas beautiful violet eyes filled with pain.

"I knew it will happen one day" Aya whispered "I was always afraid that you will wake up one morning and …"

"And what?" Yohji asked with a soft voice and stroke Ayas head "that you will notice that everything was a mistake … that **I** was a mistake" he sobbed, Yohji wiped Ayas hot tears away he wanted to comfort him but he couldn't hold his own tears back.

"You aren't a mistake Aya" Yohji said while he tried to control his voice, he tightened his hug and stroke Ayas back "you aren't a mistake and you will never be a mistake you're all the world to me, you're my world" he could see a smile on Ayas lips and he knew they can fix the problem again.

_~ No__w you're worrying again … you said that I'm you're world but it's a cold place, you're someone who needs the warmth of other persons, you need the light._

_By my side you will freeze to death and I will drag you down into the darkness with me._

_I knew the day will come and now I have to set you free ~_

"(sob) let's break up (sob)" Aya said unexpected, Yohji felt how his heart shattered into pieces "why?" he yelled "I thought we can fix it again, we … we always did!" Yohji yelled furious but Aya said nothing to justify himself.

Yohji loosed the hug and pushed Aya angry away, he couldn't believe it.

"I'm sorry" Aya said breathless "I'm sorry…..COUHG …. Y-Yoh"Ayas eyes widened; Yohji stared worried at Aya he thought he might had hurt him as he pushed him away "Aya you're ok?"

"Can't …. Breathe" he panted, Yohji ran out of the room to get a doctor, when he came back with the doc Aya breathed stertorously and stared with wide eyes at the ceiling.

"I gave him a sedative, when he should has an attack again you must try to calm him down I don't think he will suffocate but I'm not sure. His lung burns like fire that's the reason he can't breathe and I think it could initiate a panic reaction again"

"I understand …. Doc, when can I take him home?"

"Tomorrow … we need his bed, I will give you some medicine and bandages, …take good care of him and make sure he will stay away from burning buildings, cigarettes and something like that. It will slow down the cure-process" she said and left the room.

Yohji looked at Aya still shocked; the image of Aya staring at the ceiling was burned deep into Yohjis mind.

"Sorry Aya but I won't stay by your side tonight" he whispered "I will pick you up tomorrow" he said and went away, he slept at a motel near the hospital and drank a lot but it didn't help.


	6. the night is mine

"It's nice to be home again" Yohji smiled at the kids and hugged them except Chika; he still couldn't forgive her for the reaction at the last mission.

"Hey you feel better?" she asked cheerful and touched Ayas hand "don't touch" he hissed and pulled his hand away.

They sat together for a while and watched a movie, Omi persuaded Aya to watch it with them. He wanted his family to do something together; the last day reminded him of the fact that they aren't immortal and he thought it's a good idea to sit together in the living room and watch something funny.

"Aya come on it's time to change the bandages" Omi said and led Aya into the kitchen.

He cleaned the wounds; Omi was appalled how many scratches the jump through the window left behind.

"Now go to bed you need to rest" Yohji said in a harsh tone and helped Aya to stand up "don't touch" Aya hissed and went into Yohjis room.

"Yohji what happened?" Omi whispered "we broke up" Omi was speechless.

"What?" Ken whispered frustrated "why?"

"I don't know and I don't care" Yohji answered and went out of the kitchen, he decided to go to a bar maybe, he will find a girl to take comfort in her.

Of course he won't touch a woman but he needed the thought to cheer himself up.

Aya sat on the armchair and played with his cell phone before he decided to use it.

"Manx I have a request!"

"Hello boys" Yohji said and had a bad hung-over.

"Where you have been?" Omi asked angry

"Out" Yohji said dry and fell on a chair "Yohji you can't do that to him" Ken said in a sad tone.

"I? He left me, he said he want to break up" he yelled "I tried to fix the problem and he rejected me"

"Hey boys what happened" Chika asked and took a cup of coffee.

"Nothing" Yohji said frustrated, his eyes widened as he saw Aya enter the kitchen.

He looked at Yohji and didn't know what to say, so he decided to ask only a simple question

"Can I have the room during the day?"

"Yeah but during the night it's mine" Yohji answered surprised, he felt his hope vanish piece by piece, after Aya got an answer he went back upstairs.

"He stopped to eat" Omi sighed,

"What?" Yohji asked frustrated "he didn't eat since he came back and he looks pale, it makes me worry" Omi explained.

"Maybe he's sick" Chika tried to calm Omi down. "Yeah maybe" Omi said and smiled at her.

"Stop to think about him let's do something together, maybe we can go to a party or we can watch a movie?" Chika asked cheerful and the boys thought that could be a good idea. It was better than to sit around.

"I will go and ask Aya" Yohji said and went to his room `knock, knock` "Aya we want to watch a movie do you want to join us" Yohji asked, last night as he drank and flirted he realised that he can't give Aya up, he wanted to find out why Aya broke up with him all of a sudden. Ayas smile at the hospital was so beautiful and warm but his eyes looked so sad and the fact bothered Yohji.

"Aya please answer me" Yohji begged he wanted to hear Ayas voice, he loved his beautiful deep voice.

"I will stay at home, please go" he heard Ayas cold voice and he was angry again "ok then stay" he yelled and punched the door.

Yohji was frustrated, he didn't understand Aya, it was like his world shattered like glass.

He hated to go to bed alone … to wake up alone, he needed Ayas warmth his presence but he lost it, he lost everything he loved.

"Can we go?" Chika asked excited "yeah" Yohji muttered, Chika was happy about Yohjis bad mood, she wanted to try to seduce Yohji again and the timing was perfect, Yohji needed comfort and Chika planned to console him.

After Yohji, Chika and the boys left the house; Aya changed his clothes, grabbed his Katana and crept out of the house.

"The movie was great" Chika laughed "it was funny right Yohji?" she said and clung to his arm.

"It was ok" he answered annoyed, she got on his nerves the whole night, isn't it great Yohji? Am I pretty Yohji? Do you want to go to a club with me? Blah-blah

_~ I want to strangle her, she's one of the reasons Aya left me, I wish she would be a__n enemy~_

"Chika don't cling on him like that" Omi said reproachful

"Ohh are you jealous?" she said in a arrogant tone, "no but Yohji dislikes it"

Chika watched Yohji for a while and noticed that Omi was right, Yohjis mind was somewhere else, no she won't give up she always got what she wanted and she want Yohji.

She hated Aya, she hated him for everything he had done to Yohji, she didn't know what he had done but it was his fault that Yohji was depressed and she can't accept it.

Yohji went to his room, he hoped that he would find Aya but he wasn't there, the room was dark and cold, Yohji felt how the loneliness crept into his heart.

_~ Why did you leave me …..? Please let me see into your heart, let me see the reason._

_I'm sure the reason is simple… _

_I will break your shell again ~_

Tears ran down his cheeks, he lay on his large bed and snuggled his head into his pillow, he could smell Ayas scent, it was sweet as ever "I miss you a lot" he whispered while he wept himself into a uneasy sleep.

One week past already, Yohji seldom saw Aya the past week but every time he saw him he looked pale or he went like he was in pain, something was wrong and Yohji had enough.

Within this week Aya had 4 light attacks but they weren't that bad like the first one at the hospital but what hurts the most is that Aya refused his help.

"Aya, good morning do you want something to eat?" Omi asked as Aya entered the kitchen, he was so pale and thin, did he run a fever? The young boy worried.

"No I will drink a tea and go to bed" he said tired.

"HEY Aya" Chika trolls "you look tired, you're ok"

"Aa" he muttered and fell on a chair near Yohji, his heart pounded like crazy, he didn't want to be apart from Yohji, so he took the chance to sit next to him.

"How are the wounds and your lung" Yohji asked worried, he felt that Aya didn't take care of himself and he wanted to start a conversation.

"Hurts" Aya whispered "but it's better"

"Good" Yohji said soft and looked at him with searching eyes but Aya only looked into his cup.

"Aya tell me one thing" Omi said serious "where are you during the night, you sleep during the day but disappears at night"

Aya said nothing; he didn't want to tell them "Aya tell `RING` ….."Omi stopped in the middle of his sentence, it was Ayas cell phone "Aa" they watched while he phoned, he didn't show any emotions "Ok" he finally said.

"Who was that?" Ken asked.

"no-one" he answered and stood up "where are you going" Yohji was worried Ayas behaviour was strange.

"Away" he muttered and put his cup into the sink "away, that's not an answer" Yohji yelled.

Aya looked at Yohji and sent a death-glare "it's all you get" and turned around, it hurt so much but he tried to make it easier for Yohji, he wanted Yohji to hate him.

"Do you have a new friend?" Yohji glared at him, his beautiful emerald eyes shone of jealousy

"No" he answered horrified and Yohji could see the pain in Ayas eyes, the question seemed to hurt him more then anything else Yohji ever said before.

"Stop it!" Chika yelled at Aya "I don't know what you have done but Yohji isn't the one I fell in love with anymore, he stopped smiling, he's unhappy and sad, it's all your fault I hate you" Aya looked at her and said in a tone cold as ice "we're still like a cat and a dog…I don't like him" she was inflamed with rage "you're the worst" she screamed and punched Aya into his stomach "uh" he gasped.

Yohji was shocked, he recognized the whole scenario, and he saw all the bad memories in his mind's eye.

*He yelled that he hated him …. Then a punch …..Ayas shocked expression …….the mission where Aya saved him and got shot because of him …. And Ayas glassy and vulnerable eyes*

Yohji stood up like a flash and pushed Chika against the next wall, her head crashed against the wall with a loud `THUMP`, she could see hate, fear and guilt glitter in his eyes "say never … never again that you hate some one, our job is dangerous what if the person dies and the last thing you said was I hate you" he tightened his grip around her neck "AND don't dare to touch him again"

"Yohji lets go, she can't breath" Omi yelled in shock, he never saw Yohji like this, he was so awesome.

Yohji only let her go after he heard someone rattle "Aya" Yohji ran to Aya and tried to touch him but Aya pushed his hand away "don't touch me" he panted and stood up "I have to go" Yohji grabbed his arm "NO I won't let you go … you can hardly walk, you can't breath right?" Aya pushed Yohji away and went out of the house.

He was shocked did Aya really hate him all of a sudden?

_~ Why __does he hate me ….why?!_

_He said that he didn't like me because we are like a …………. ~_

But then the realisation hit him

_~ Oh god, he heard that I can't stand the fights … I'm sure he takes all the blame for the problems at our relationship, why was I so blind._

_And I hoped he had a simple reason and now … (sigh) I swore to protect you I swore that I will never hurt you again ~_


	7. burning jealousy

He decided to wait in the kitchen for Ayas return; he sat in the dark and stared at the door.

"May we can join you" Omi asked in a soft tone

"Yeah" he sighed "how's Chika?"

"She locked her self into her room, I think she's extremely afraid" Ken said and tried to read Yohjis mind but it was difficult in the dark.

"I saw the ´ I hate you incident ` in my mind's eye and …. I lost the control over my emotions" he explained "but I don't regret it"

"We understand it you don't need to explain it to us if you don't want to" Omi said and gave Yohji a warm smile.

"But I want to" he said and started to talk.

"At the hospital, Aya and I talked; it looked like we had fixed the problem.

Aya was worried about the fact that I was straight, he was afraid that I will wake up one day and notice that I had made a mistake …. That I will think that **he's** a mistake.

I said that he means all the world to me, then he was quite for a while and said he want to break up while he cried.

I was incredible angry I felt like he cheated on me.

Did you see the look in his eyes when I asked if he has a new lover?

Now I'm sure he did it for me."

"For you?" Omi asked

"He heard that I can't stand our fights …. I think he wants to protect me, I don't think that my statement is the main reason but it was the cause.

I can't explain why I know that he wants to protect me but I always could feel what he wanted" he finished while he still stared at the door.

"Believe me Yohji we understand you" Omi said and gave Ken an ashamed grin.

"I believe it" Yohji said soft "…. I'm worrying about Chika, she said that she fell in love with me, I think she will try to intrigue against us"

The boys remained silent; they knew that Yohji was right.

"My neck still hurts" Chika whispered to herself, she sat on Ayas desk and browsed through a photo album. All the pictures were from Yohji, she collected the pictures for over 10 years "you're the only reason I'm an assassin, I did it only to be close to you" she started to speak with one of the pictures. She took the picture as she saw him the first time.

"_The first time I saw you were the day of my 8__th__ birthday you lived near my house, do you remember? You walked through the park, you wore a Jeans and a dark blue tank top, your posture was perfect, your hair gleamed at the sun and your skin was so brown and soft._

_That was the day I fell in love with you!_

_I was angry as you moved to another town without a warning but I found you I will always find you you're my true love._

_Do you know how happy I was the day Asuka died? No? Oh yeah it was a nice day._

_I saw you two days before she died. You walked down the street she looked so happy and you had only eyes for her, you ignored me!_

_But then her light expired and you were trapped in the darkness, I had planned to save you … to be your star in the world of darkness …but you disappeared again I needed a few years to come close to you again._

_And what did I detect huh? Right that you found a new light which led you the way out of the darkness. He's your best friend but still enough for you to be happy? You need __**my**__ love to be happy, do you understand! You only need __**me**__!_

_I will carry on seducing you I will be your wife and I will replace your best friend, a good wife is at the same time a good friend, do you knew that? No? It doesn't matter ….you won't need him anymore! "_

It was 5 o'clock in the morning as the back door opened with a soft `click`, Aya went quietly into the kitchen, he didn't want to wake his friends.

"Where you have been?" a voice clang through the dark, it was Yohji.

"Away" he answered in a hard tone.

Omi switched the light on, Aya needed a few seconds to get used to it, after he could see again he saw Yohji and the kids, they sat around the table and looked worried.

"You had a job?" Omi asked shocked, he knew the question was stupid, because it was obvious but he did it in spite of himself.

Aya stood in the kitchen his face and coat were drenched by water and blood; the boys noticed that he looked exhausted … and ashamed.

It rained the whole night and he stood in the rain for an hour before he went home, he wanted to wash his feelings away and wished he could disappear.

"How long did you do the solo-missions?" Yohji asked angry but Aya could see worry in his eyes.

"One week" he said and looked away, he couldn't stand it to see the look on their faces.

"Your wounds were fresh, how could you fight like that" Ken asked confused "it must hurt like hell"

"Do you try to commit suicide?" Yohji asked in a sad but serious tone "I won't let you go, from now on I will always keep an eye on you" Aya gave them a small and relieved smile and slid down the wall, he was relieved, now they knew what he did every night, now he could relax.

"Aya!" Yohji yelled and ran to the redhead "Aya open your eyes, please look at me!"

Aya opened his eyes it cost a lot of will-power but Aya couldn't refuse a request not when Yohji asked for it.

Omi came with the first-aid kit and checked Aya, his old wounds didn't heal, he had a few new scratches and a stab wound on his side "that bastard had stabbed Aya from behind" Omi whispered, the wound looked like someone tried to thrust a knife from behind between Ayas ribs but the cut wasn't deep or dangerous, Aya had luck that the knife hit one of his ribs.

It saved his life but on the other hand his luck cost him a broken rib but it was the lesser of the two evils.

They cleaned Aya and treated his wounds; Aya was too tiered to help them.

"Good night Yohji, take good care of him" Ken said and smile "good night boys" he answered and gave them a soft smile.

Yohji took Aya into his arms and carried him into his room; he put him onto his bed and covered him up very gently before he sat next to him.

"You make me always worry about you" he sighed and stroke through Ayas soft hair.

He was surprised that Aya responded "I'm sorry" he said sleepy "I'm sorry".

"Why did you do that?" he asked gentle he didn't want to upset Aya.

"I wanted do disappear from your life" Aya looked at him; he examined Yohjis face with sleepy eyes.

"Why did you brake up with me?" he asked sad.

"I can't make you happy"

"When I said, that I can't stand it to fight with you I didn't meant it that way"

"I know but I realised that I make you unhappy" Aya said with a hoarse voice,

Yohji began to rub Ayas chest to prevent an attack.

"You don't make me unhappy … I love you I'm only happy when you're by my side"

"I'm cold hearted and I'm not a loving person ….. You deserve better!" Aya said and stared at the ceiling "cough…..cough"

"Aya it's my decision ….. And I love you… at the beginning I was really angry but then I realised that you wanted to protect me from something …. I lost my faith in you too, now I know how you must felt… but don't worry I trust you again" he said serious and rubbed still Ayas chest.

"I tried to protect you from me" he whispered.

"Why? You would never do something to me" Yohji asked confused.

"You're a creature of the light, you need the warmth of other people, you need sunny and happy days.

But in the world of mine you will freeze to death, I will drag you with me into the dark" he gasped and a single tear glide down his pale cheek.

"I will follow you in all directions, no matter what happens" he kissed Ayas forehead

"Please …don't touch ….I haven't …decided what to do … I don't …want to drag you …down with me… to hell" he whispered exhausted, before he fell asleep.

Yohji continued to rub his chest and watched him for a long time "I will follow you into hell, when you're with me it can't be bad" Aya smiled a bit, Yohji knew that Aya had heard him.

_~ That was the __reason? You thought you're not good enough for me? …Stupid._

_I will always be happy when you're with me you're my light. ~_

"I'm begging you, stay by my side"

"Good morning boys" Yohji said, he was pale and looked tired.

"It was a long night, huh?" Ken said soft

"Yeah I couldn't sleep, he had problems to breath and I was worried he would stop breathing"

He said and fell on a chair next to Ken; he didn't want to sit near Chika.

"What happened last night?" she asked nosy.

"Aya was on a solo-mission and got hurt" Omi said and reached Yohji a plate with toast.

"You guys make solo-missions" she didn't new that.

"Sometimes" Yohji said annoyed, he hated Chikas presence.

"Omi can you prepare soup for Aya? He runs a fever" he asked in a soft tone

"Of course. How are the wounds?" Omi asked concerned.

"Some wounds are infected and his lung makes me worry, I have the bad feeling he got in addition to the irritation of his lung a cold" he said and closed his eyes "I promised to protect him but what have I done? I pushed him into vitiation"

"It wasn't your fault, he made the decision not you" Ken said to console him "and we didn't notice it either" he added in a sad tone mixed with guilt.

"I should have noticed it" Yohji opened his eyes and took a toast from his plate.

"Why? It's his own fault; when he wants to die let him die what's the problem?" Chika said angry "you're always sad and frustrated; it can't go on like that"

"Shut up" Yohji yelled at her "you know nothing"

"I know that he will destroy you sooner or later" she yelled back "he's not worth it"

"Ok stop that" Omi interfered before Yohji decide to kill her "I will make the soup for Aya and you will help me" he said and pointed at Chika.

Yohji said nothing he only glared at her before he ate his breakfast.

"Why is he so devoted to Aya?" she asked, she wanted to know more about their friendship

"We are working together for years, we are like a family.

It isn't easy to deal with Aya but Yohji …. Yohji can always walk through Ayas shell."

"But they are fighting …day by day" she tried to get more information.

"That's true but they understand each others feelings. Yohji knows that when he's in trouble Aya will come to his rescue … It doesn't matter how hard they fought before and the same goes for Aya. They know that they can count on each other!

I think they need it to fight they need it to release the frustration. And who's better than your best friend for something like that. Sorry it's complicated I don't understand it my self … and now cut the carrots" Omi sighed, he tried so hard to find a reason for Aya and Yohjis behaviour, he didn't want to tell her that the Weiss boys are gay.

_~ It's a strange reason I gave her but it was the best idea I had._

_I hope she didn't notice that I made it up. Ok all in all it is the truth but it sounds…. Strange ~_

Omi thought frustrated.

"The soup is ready and I made a can of tea too." Omi said soft.

"Thank you Omi" Yohji answered and patted Omis shoulder before he took the tray.

"Hey Aya you're awake" he said in a soft tone and put the tray on his desk.

"Yeah" he whispered and sat up "ouch"

"Let me help you" Yohji said but Aya raised a hand to stop him.

"Aya let me help you" he said frustrated "you can't cloister your self away"

"….cough …. I can" he answered sheepish and looked away from Yohji.

"I won't allow it" Yohji said and lifted Ayas chin up "look at me when I talk to you"

Aya blushed and could feel his heart pound against his ribs; he loved Yohjis beautiful emerald eyes and his soft voice.

"Don't touch me" he hissed and tried to get grip on him self "don't touch"

"Ok I will give you your soup and then I will go" Yohji said angry, he knew Aya liked his touch but he was frustrated that he didn't get the chance to win him back.

"Aya! I know that you still love me and don't you think It should be my decision if I want to stay by your side or not? …. With your act you only hurt yourself and you break my heart" he whispered before he left the room.

_~ Do you love me that much? Did you say the truth? That I'm__ … your world._

_Maybe it isn't a bad thing to live in the world of darkness as long as I'm with you._

_Maybe you can stand a life with me, It would be nice_ ~

Yohji went for a walk, he needed air it was to painful to stay at home, no it wasn't his home anymore, it was only … hell.

_~ I hope he will come back to me soon. I can't stand it to be near you but I'm not able to touch you. I want to talk to you like we always did; I want to fight with you about unimportant things so that we can__ laugh about how stupid we were._

_I want my home back! ~_


	8. Rainbows and Sakura trees

"He don't allow me to touch him" Yohji said in a sad tone "maybe one of you should check his wounds"

"I'm sure you will get your relationship back on track" Omi said confident "he still loves you" he added and smiled.

"I was angry again I feel so hurt" Yohji said and touched his chest "my heart aches at the thought that he sacrifices our relationship only because he worries about my future.

I'm so angry I could kick him sometimes" he said and sighed.

"Hey Aya shouldn't you be in bed?" Chika said and came down the stairs.

"I want a tea" he said and walked into the kitchen "wait I make it for you" Omi said and ran to the cupboard before Aya could say something.

"Here your tea" Omi said while he reached Aya his cup, then he touched Ayas forehead "Aya you're fever is pretty high, I want to see your wounds" he said worried and Aya knew it was an order.

"Ouch" he hissed "it hurt".

"Sorry! Some of your wounds are healing but not the bullet wound, … your rib looks better and the stab wound too.

Because of the solo-missions the bullet wound didn't get the chance to close up and the wound looks infected"

"And he caught a cold" Yohji said angry "that's really bad for his lung, I'm sure your lung isn't ok either."

"Aya? Is it true?" Omi asked concerned he didn't notice it "it isn't better?"

"No. It had no time to heal. You could say I ran from one burning building to another." He answered and grinned a little bit. He tried to cheer Omi up; he hated it to make his family worry.

"Don't worry Omi" he added and squeezed Omis shoulder.

"Don't worry? You can't take care of your self, of course we are worrying" Yohji said a bit sarcastic.

Chika watched the scenario and was happy about the fight; it looked like she could achieve her aim without exerting herself.

"I can take care of my self, when I want" Aya yelled back at him.

"Sure, I take the trouble to save your ass all the time and you say you can take care of you're self?!"

"Then stop saving me when it's such a bother!" Aya said in a hurt tone, Omi could hear that Ayas breathe rattled

"Stop Yohji… stop it Aya can't …" but Yohji ignored him.

"Yeah … next time when you're in trouble don't count on me" Yohji hissed but soon he regretted everything he said.

"YOHJI" Omi yelled "WHAT?" he yelled back.

"Aya can't breathe normally" he panicked, he felt that the stress was a really bad thing.

"Aya?" Yohji stopped in front of him "Aya? Say something … it's getting better right?"

"It doesn't matter … cough…You …said ….you won't care …. For me …anymore" he panted.

"Aya you know that…." He tried to touch him but Aya pushed his hand away.

Aya tried to walk away from him but collapsed after a few steps.

"AYA" Yohji screamed and ran to him "calm down …. Calm down"

Aya kneeled on the floor and touched with one hand his chest; he balled the other hand into a fist.

Yohji sat down on the floor behind Aya and pulled him backward onto his chest.

Ayas back rested against Yohjis chest and he could feel his warmth "don't touch" he tried to struggle but without success and finally he leant his head against Yohjis shoulder.

Yohji hugged him from behind, he laid a hand on Ayas chest and with his other hand he held Ayas head against his shoulder.

"Y-Yohji" he gasped and squeezed Yohjis hand which rested on his chest.

"Shhh don't speak" he whispered into Ayas ear "save your breath" and pressed his cheek against Ayas.

"can't … breathe" Aya panicked, he tried to inhale the air but it felt like it didn't reached his lung and it hurt like hell.

The boys stared at them in shock, they were afraid because it looked like Aya will suffocate in Yohjis arms, they couldn't think clear anymore, they could only watch.

Chika on the other hand hoped that Aya will suffocate

_~ When he's out of the way I can make a move on him._

_I can console him and one day he will forget him and then I can be his best friend and more._

_Yeah die redhead; you're in my way …. (Laughing) ~_

"Aya try to relax …. Do you hear me" Yohji whispered, he tried to use a calming voice.

Aya nodded "I …. Try" Yohji watched Aya and saw that he stared at the ceiling with wide eyes, his look was glassy.

Fear crept into Yohjis heart; he remembered the day at the hospital and the day Aya almost died as if it happened yesterday. He blanketed Ayas eyes with the hand which held Ayas head.

"Shhh I'm here" he said in a soft tone "I'm here"

"I will talk with you and you will listen ok?" Aya remained silent and Yohji took it for a yes.

"When I was a kid there was a beautiful park near our house, there were the most beautiful Sakura trees I ever saw, when you're well again I will show it to you." He said to give him hope

"There is one thing I wanted to tell you, you said you don't want to drag me into the darkness, but did you ever thought about the fact that I could drag you into the light?

But it doesn't matter, wherever you are will shine the sun, you're my light …my world is only dark **without** you!

And please let me be the rainbow in your dark and rainy world!" he whispered in a low tone so that only Aya could hear what he had to say.

Yohjis eyes widened in shock, Ayas lips started to turn blue and he loosed his grip on Yohjis hand.

"Don't give up Aya" he yelled "breathe ….. Come on Aya … can you feel my chest moving"

"y-ye-a-h" Yohji was relieved Aya was still with him "then breathe with me … in … out …in …"

"c-an't …i-t hu-r-t" he gasped with a low voice and got a grip on his self it took his last strength "…….. Lo- …v-e "

"What?" he said and tightened his hug around Aya.

"Lo-ve …. y- you … I'm …..so-r-r-y" he panted and tears ran down his face

"Then don't leave me" he answered while tears ran slowly down his own cheeks.

"I promised to protect you but I need your help" Yohji whispered "don't stop breathing, ok?"

"o-…k" Aya said breathless and Yohji could see that Aya tried to breathe; his face was filled with pain.

Suddenly Ayas body tensed and his chest didn't rise anymore "Aya don't die on me ….don't leave me …don't" he screamed "continue to breathe…. Please I promise that everything will be fine …. I promise the pain will fade but you must continue to breathe …. Trust me" he cried and tightened his hug again, with the other hand he stroke through Ayas soft hair; he was so pale and cold.

He buried his face on Ayas neck while he rocked gently back and forth; he could smell his sweet scent mixed with the scent of roses.

"Please trust me ….. Have faith in me, I beg you breathe…" he sobbed, his head shoot up as he felt Ayas chest rise.

"Aya?" he thought he will hyperventilate with joy "you're here with me?" he asked in a hopeful tone.

Aya nodded and squeezed Yohjis hand again, he still was in pain but he trusted Yohji and he decided not to leave him.

Yohji laughed with joy, he thought he lost him "You can't frighten me like that I thought… I thought you…" he couldn't speak anymore.

They sat on the floor for 20 minutes before Yohji brought Aya into his room.

Aya passed out 10 minutes after he continued to breathe, Yohji was shocked he thought that Aya died on him but was relieved because he could still feel him breath.

The boys were relieved that everything was fine again, after Yohji carried Aya into his room they went into the shop to open it, it was still 6 in the morning but they needed something to do.

Chika locked herself into her room and she spread all the pictures on the floor in anger.

_~ Damned, damned …. Why didn't you die?!_

_And what did he meant when he said that he loves you?_

_You like girls; you always had only girls …._

_He won't have a chance I'm a girl, I'm pretty and I get what I want,_

_I won't give him to a damn fag, he's not gay! ~_

"Your lips aren't blue any more, that's good" Yohji whispered and touched Ayas lips gently with his thumb and index finger.

Aya felt the touch and tried to open his eyes he was so tiered but he wanted to see Yohji.

He opened slowly his eyes "Y-ohji" he said with a hoarse voice.

"Sorry did I wake you?" he asked but he knew he had.

"Thank you" Aya whispered and looked at Yohji.

"For what?" he asked confused.

"You saved me again" Yohji smiled at Aya and stroke his cheek

"Can I touch you?"

"When the answer were no you had noticed it" Aya joked, it was a good sign it looked like Aya opened up to him again.

"Yeah" Yohji said and stared at him

"Why are you staring at me" Aya asked sleepy.

"I'm relieved that you're still alive … when I saw you staring at the ceiling and when your lips turned blue … I – I thought it's over and then you stopped to breathe" he said and a tear ran down his cheek, Aya wiped the tear away "Can I drag you with me into the darkness?" he asked and admired the glitter in Yohjis eyes.

"I thought you won't ask" Yohji laughed and kissed Aya with passion "I love you Aya, no matter what happens"

"Thank you" Aya said soft "you said `thank you` already" Yohji answered and smiled.

"No …. Thank you for loving me" he said and closed his eyes; he was too tired to continue the conversation.

"Let us create a rainy world filled with beautiful rainbows.

They will beam so bright that they will break the darkness" Yohji said soft and crawled under the blanket.

"Like a rainbow created by a light summer rain?" Aya whispered sleepy

"Yeah a rainbow created by a light summer rain on a beautiful day" he whispered into Ayas ear and took him into his arms.

Both fell asleep while they snuggled against each other.

Yohji woke up towards midday, he thought Aya had left already like he always did but he was surprised to see Aya still sleeping next to him.

His breath still rattled but it looked like it wasn't a problem for Aya.

"Aya wake up" Yohji said soft and wiped a strand out of Ayas face "I want to check your wounds, I hope the wounds didn't got worse, I hugged you extremely tight yesterday"

Aya opened his eyes and sat up, his movements were stiff but Yohji couldn't see blood.

He helped Aya to take off his shirt and examined his beautiful and pale body.

"I reopened some scratches …." he whispered "…. Oh my Aya I forgot your broken rib, why didn't you tell me … I'm so sorry"

"It wasn't your fault …. You only tried to calm me down and to say the truth your presence meant a lot to me" he said and gave Yohji a shy smile.

"I'm happy that you came back to me" Yohji whispered while he cleaned and bandaged the wounds "it was the hell without you"

"I won't leave you again …. Never again" he said and squeezed Yohjis hand as he tried to bandage the bullet wound.


	9. Together

Omi swarmed through the kitchen, he prepared the lunch and set the table.

"Hey Ken can you reach the cups to me?" he said high-spirited.

"Omi calm down you makes me nervous. He's alive so stop worrying" Ken said annoyed

"I know but I can't get the image out of my mind."

"I know what you mean but it's over try to calm down, ok?" he said and kissed Omi.

"Sorry when I disturb you guys but I want some coffee" Yohji said and grinned, Omi blushed and he turned around to hide it; and swarmed through the kitchen again.

"Oh my… Omi don't be always so embarrassed" Yohji said and laughed.

"How's Aya?" Ken asked worried.

"Some wounds reopened and he has problems to breathe but I don't think it's worth to worry" he answered and tried to console the boys.

"Good" Omi said relieved "I prepared lunch I thought you and Aya didn't eat proper for a while so I made salad, roast beef, potatoes, vegetables and for dessert a lemon cake.

"You were extremely worried, right?" Yohji said and touched Omis shoulder, he knew the answer already.

"Hey boys" Chika said cheerful "it smells nice"

"Sit down we will eat in 10 minutes" Omi said and went to the baking oven.

"I'll get Aya" Yohji said and went to his room.

"Hey love, Omi made a lot to eat again" Yohji said in a soft tone, Omi always made a lot to eat when he's worried.

"He's worried" Aya detected.

"Yeah …. But the food is always great" he joked and saw that Aya had problems to put on his shirt "come on … let me help you"

"Oouch…." he hissed, his wounds hurt a lot "thank you"

All of a sudden Yohji hugged Aya "Yohji?" Aya asked worried but Yohji didn't respond.

He hugged Yohji too "You're scaring me"

"Sorry" he whispered "I wanted to make sure that it's real … that you came back to me ….I'm so happy every time I can see you, when I can touch you and when I can hear your deep voice"

Aya said nothing; his answer was to tighten the hug.

"Thank you for being alive" Yohji whispered and kissed Ayas cheek.

"I should thank for the same matter …. Yohji I thank you too for being alive"

Aya could hear a soft chuckle and new that Yohji felt better.

"Let's go Omi will panic when we don't go now" Aya said and stroke Yohjis back before he pulled him away, he took Yohjis hand and led him down the stairs but before they arrived the kitchen he released Yohjis hand.

"Aya" Omi said happily "sit down I hope you like the food"

"You're a great cook so don't worry It will be great" Aya said and smiled at him.

"It was really good Omi" Ken said.

"Yeah" Chika agreed "hey Aya can I ask why you couldn't breathe I thought it only can be better"

"I think it's because I caught a cold and inhaled too much fume during my last mission.

The damn target light a fire, he didn't want the police to find the drugs.

He really thought he will stay alive." Aya said cold.

"Oh … you're really confident in yourself" she said and glared at him.

"You too" he said but he didn't deign to look at her.

She decided to remain silent; she didn't want to fight in front of Yohji, not now.

"Hey Yohji do you want to go to a club with me tonight?" she asked innocent.

"No I'll stay at home" he answered uninterested.

"Why you're always at home, some fun would be nice or not?"

"I have fun I don't need to go clubbing" he said serious "also I won't leave Aya alone"

"Aya, Aya, Aya always Aya don't you have your own life? You can't sacrifice your being for someone like him!"

"Yes I can It's my life … my decision. I will always be there for him and I know he'll be there for me"

"He's only a friend …..You should live your own life, you should have fun and one day you should start to build a family, you would be a great daddy."

"I have a family already they're everything I need."

"You know that I love you right?" she said in a strange tone

"Yeah I know" he answered cold, Aya watched them but for the first time he wasn't worried, he knew Yohji won't leave him.

"And where is the problem? I'm beautiful, intelligent, I'm devoted to you and I would be a great mom for your kids" Yohji and the others were shocked, she was crazy, she already planned a life with Yohji.

"The "problem" is that I don't love you" he said and looked her into the eyes "I love someone else"

"You what?" she yelled "who? Who is she?"

"I won't say it" he answered serious "I think you're dangerous and I won't hand my lover to you on a silver platter"

She was furious she tried to control her emotion but she threw a glass at Yohji before she stormed out of the kitchen.

Yohji raised a hand to protect his face but the glass shattered on his wrist, some splinter of glass left deep cuts.

"Yohji" Aya yelled and took Yohjis arm; he examined the wound and pulled little splinter of glass out of the flesh.

"I will kill her" Aya muttered while he cleaned the wounds.

"You can't kill her for something like that" Omi said serious "but I can understand the urge to kill her"

Ken collected the glass from the floor and nodded "yeah me too"

"I'm sorry" Aya whispered after he bandaged Yohjis cuts.

"Why?" he asked confused, Aya hadn't done something wrong.

"I sat next to you … and I couldn't protect you ….I'm sorry" he said in a sad tone.

"Aya look at me" he said and lifted Ayas chin "I was surprised too. You couldn't help" Yohji gave him one of his soft smiles before he saw a cut on Ayas cheek.

"Aya you're hurt" he said and wiped the blood away before he cleaned the little cut and put a band-aid on it.

"I will kill her" Yohji said and stood up but Aya grabbed his unharmed wrist.

"When I can't kill her for the cuts than you can't kill her for a little scratch" he said and pulled him back on his chair.

Chika ran in her room up and down, she was still furious.

_~ I will kill him …. In any case__ … I will kill the damn redhead!_

_Is he the one you love? No it can't be him you're straight!_

_OR_

_He brainwashed you, yeah that's it he obscured your mind, but don't worry I will cure you._

_He's stealing your life and he determines your acting._

_I will save you from him. ~_

"Manx called us. She has a new job for us" Aya said in a serious tone.

"When?" Ken asked interested.

"Tomorrow" Aya answered "we have to kill a corrupt cop"

"A cop?" Omi gasped

"I will go with Omi" Aya said and sat down on the chair next to Yohji.

"WHAT?" Yohji yelled shocked "I won't let you go without me" he said serious

"Because of the cuts you can't use your wire for awhile" he gasped "and I won't allow that you rush headlong into disaster, you will stay at home and Ken will protect you from **her**"

Yohji stood up and went behind Aya, he rested a hand on Ayas shoulder while he cares Ayas chest with the other hand "You have trouble to breathe again?" he said in a gentle tone " I won't let you go without me, who would take care of you when you can't breath" he joked.

"You can't fight what if I can't protect you?" Aya said and looked up to Yohji.

"I swore to protect you I will come with you; **you're not** in the condition to fight ….. Don't answer back!" he said in a strict tone and kissed Ayas head.

"I want to come too" Chika said out of nowhere, they didn't realise that she entered the kitchen.

"No" Aya said harsh and glared at her "I don't trust you and we don't fight with someone we can't trust"

"Manx said they couldn't stand you at first but now you're of part of Weiss, so tell me why can't I be a part of you" she yelled.

"You're not interested in us" Yohji said cold "you're an egoist, you care only for yourself but when you're a part of a team you must take care of everyone. Aya did that, he protected us and we knew he cared for us in his one way but you…."

"I can care for people too" she screamed "but you care only for people for your own sake" Yohji said in a cold tone.

She ran out of the house, she needed time to think, time to make a new plan.

`RING` "Aa" Aya answered the call "what? But….ok" he hung up.

"Aya is there a problem you look unhappy" Ken asked concerned

"It was Manx, she said that Chika will go to the mission with us and that's her last word.

"I hope she will take the mission serious, I don't want to explain to Manx why she died after we had a big fight."

"Ok stop worrying, it isn't a help. We will take it how it comes" Yohji said, he couldn't stand the atmosphere of gloom.

"Come on Aya I will check your wounds again" he said and led him upstairs into the bathroom.

"Let's take a shower together, there is still a bit mud and blood at your hair. You hadn't the time and strength to take a shower on your own, right?"

"Yeah it will be nice when I'm clean again" Aya said and put off his clothes, sometimes he needed Yohjis help.

"Is the temperature ok?" Yohji said and helped Aya into the shower "it's nice" he answered gently.

Yohji watched Aya he had his eyes closed while the water ran down his beautiful body.

Yohji took a sponge and started careful to clean Ayas maltreated body.

"Tell me if it hurts" Yohji said in a soft tone "it's fine" Aya replied and gave Yohji a weak smile.

"I love the smell of orchids and roses" Yohji whispered "I missed the smell"

Aya turned around and looked deep into Yohjis eyes before he pushed him gently against the wall of the shower. "I'm sorry" Aya said in a low tone "I made you sad"

"Don't worry … I hurt you too" Yohji answered and kissed Ayas forehead.

Aya smiled and kneeled in front of Yohji "Aya what do you do? You're hurt" he gasped while Aya licked his belly and wandered down to his #%#.

He took it into his mouth and sucked on it, he moved his head gently back and forth while the hot water clattered down his back, he listened to Yohjis moan with pleasure.

He started to lick Yohjis bal… he was already that hard, Aya detected that Yohji hadn't done it while they were separated.

"hn … Aya stop … I ..Can't" Yohji gasped and Aya could see the lust in Yohjis beautiful emerald eyes.

"You can come if you want" Aya said with a smile and licked the tip of his erection to tease him before he sucked Yohjis hard erec…. again, this time he moved his head faster back an forth, Yohji had one hand on Ayas head to guide him a bit and he wanted to touch his beloved redhead.

"I'm … com….AAHH" He gasped and his body tensed before he released his sperm into Ayas hot mouth, Aya could feel Yohji jerking and swallowed his hot sper..

"hahh god "Yohji panted and slid down the wall "that …was great" and pulled Aya into his arms. He kissed the young redhead and caress his back "when you're fit again It will be my treat" he said and smiled satisfied before he kissed Aya again.

"Let me wash you" Aya said, he wanted to touch his lover; he wanted to watch how the water ran down his perfect skin.

"Wait I will towel you" Yohji said, he was afraid he could reopen the scratches "now sit down I will bandage the wounds"

"Thank you" Aya answered, he was tired and had problems to breathe again.

"You can't breath?" Yohji asked worried and put the first aid kit on a shelf, before he took Aya into his arms.

He caresses Ayas back and heard Ayas soft breathe, after a while Aya was able to breathe without problems.

Yohji continued to bandage the wounds "when you're finished …. I will take care of the cuts on your wrist" Aya said with a hoarse voice.

"Ok" Yohji said and smiled at Aya, he felt incredible happy, he knew that his world was now complete again.

"Aya" Yohji whispered into Ayas ear "wake up" he said and pulled Aya into an upright position.

"Calm down" Yohji said while he sat behind Aya and hugged him "shhh …. I'm here".

Aya didn't answer but squeezed Yohjis hand "don't worry it will be over soon" Yohji said and rocked gently back and forth "why you're always staring at the ceiling with wide and glassy eyes, huh?" he asked but he didn't expect a answer.

"Aya come on" Yohji cried "don't leave me …. Don't dare to stop breathing", Ayas lips were blue again.

He could feel how Ayas chest raise, but his breath was weak.

He pulled Ayas head against his shoulder so that he could press his cheek against Ayas cheek, he wanted to be near him and he wanted to hear him breathe.

After 10 minutes Aya could breathe again, Yohji was relieved but he didn't get a wink of sleep.

`Knock … knock` "Yohji, Aya it's already midday wake up" Omi yelled.

"Hmm Yeah" Yohji yelled back "come on Aya" he said and kissed the young redhead.

"Ok…. ok" he said and gave Yohji a tired and weak smile.

They got dressed and went down into the kitchen; Omi had already prepared the food.

"Wow what happened to you guys, you look like shit" Ken said bland as ever.

"Aya couldn't breath" Yohji said and yawned.

"You're ok now?" Omi asked and watched Aya "It's fine Omi don't worry".

"Good morning" Chika said sheepish "I want to say that I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to overact like that.

I can't deal with a broken heart … I never could …. I'm sorry" she lowered her head while she spoke.

"Ok" Yohji said in a soft tone "but I hope we are a team now"

"Yeah we are I thought about what you said and you were right" she said friendly.

"Good" he replied "do you want to eat with us?"

"No not today I must go to a meeting between the members of Kritikers new group ….. And I'm already a bit late" she said and waved at the boys before she left,

"Do you really trust her, Yohji?" Yohji looked at Ken like he told a joke.

"Of course not but I think we should let her think that while we keep an eye on her" he said and grinned.

He caresses Ayas cheek "let's eat, you need the energy"

Ken and Omi were relieved it looked like everything was like before.

"It's time to go" Omi said worried "I have a bad feeling"

"Don't worry Omi" Ken said and kissed his lover "we will take care of you"

"I know and I will take care of you too but that's not the point" he sighed "I don't trust her"

"I know what you mean she was too friendly all of a sudden, it looks like an act" he answered and hugged Omi "let's hope the best"

"Yeah" Omi gave Ken a little smile before he kissed him.

"Omi please promise to come back tonight" Ken said in a sad tone.

"I will come back to you …. But you must promise the same to me" he answered and touched Kens cheek.

"I promise" he answered while he gave in to Omis soft touch.

"Aya it's time" Yohji said and helped Aya to put on his shirt.

"I know" he said and turned around to Yohji.

"Aya you're ok?" Yohji asked suspicious and touched Ayas forehead but his fever gone down.

"Yeah ….. but …" Aya stuttered "but?" Yohji asked and touched Ayas cheek

"Stay alive it's an order!" Aya said serious.

"An order, huh?" Yohji smiled "I promise that I will come back home"

"Good" Aya said relieved "when not I will kill you"

"but on one condition" Yohji said in a serious tone.

"What?" Aya was shocked "your surviving isn't negotiable! "he yelled and gasped.

Yohji hugged Aya to calm him down "I will only come back when you will be there.

When you would die I hadn't a home to return to anymore" he whispered and caress Ayas back.

"I think the condition is ok" Aya answered and hugged Yohji tight.


	10. Complications

"Is everyone on his position?" Aya asked through the headset

"Yeah" they confirmed

They waited at an alley for the cop, they thought he wouldn't come but then they saw him.

"Ok I will go" Aya said but stopped before he reached the target "damned" he said shocked.

He was surrounded by 6 weaponed men.

"A trap" Yohji yelled "Aya we're coming"

Omi and Ken ran out of their hiding-places and ran as fast as they could.

Chika waited for a chance to interfere.

Aya slashed two guards in two while Yohji strangled a man who tried to attack Aya from behind.

Ken and Omi finished the other 3 men before they started to run after the target.

Aya and Yohji stood alone at the alley surrounded by 6 dead bodies, Chika was still near.

They heard a noise in the dark and turned around, a man pointed with a weapon of Chika.

She wanted to kick her self that she was that inattentive, at least it looked like that.

"Kitty watch out" Yohji yelled and ran to her; Aya was shocked "Yohji NOOO" he screamed and ran after him.

It looked like the man pulled the trigger, Yohji placed himself in front of Chika but there was no shoot.

The men looked at Yohji and grinned before he turned to the side and pointed at Aya, the redheads eyes widened in shock.

`BANG` echoed the shot through the dark.

"Omi he ran to the right side" Ken yelled before he walked around the corner.

They chased the target and now they had him, they reached a blind alley.

"Let me live, please … I will give you money or girls what ever you want" the target whined and begged.

"We are here to execute your punishment …. " Ken said before he thrust his bugnuts deep into the targets body "that's the final decision"

"Good our work is done, then we can go home now" Omi said and smiled.

Ken gave Omi a kiss and touched his cheek "I'm happy that the job is over and we're still alive" Omi whispered "yeah now you can stop worrying" Ken smiled.

`BANG `

`AYAAAAA`

"What was that" Ken asked even though he knew what it was.

"That's Yohjis voice" Omi said shocked and started to run, both boys ran as fast as they could, their family was in danger.

"AYAAAAA" Yohji screamed and captured the shooter with his wire, he was beside of himself of rage, he strangled the shooter until his wire slashed through his neck.

Yohji ignored the pain in his wrist, the shock and adrenalin pushed him up.

After he killed him, Yohji looked at Ayas motionless body, Yohji shivered and went slowly to Aya, he was too afraid to run.

"Aya?" he said and kneeled next to his lover, he turned Aya around and took him into his arms.

He was pale and cold, there was a lot of blood on his clothes and next to him, he stroke carful over Ayas cheek and started to cry.

Suddenly a cold hand wiped his tears away "Aya" Yohji gasped and his eyes were bright.

"It's not that bad how it looks like … he's a bad shooter" Aya said and gave Yohji a gentle smile.

Yohji kissed Ayas forehead and held him in a tight embrace "I thought he killed you" he sobbed "I was so scared"

"Don't worry …. Help me to stand up" he asked, though it was more like an order; and Yohji helped him, but he never let Aya walk a step alone.

"You don't need to support me I can stand and walk on my own"

"I know you …." Yohji said and gave him a sad smile "you can't walk alone"

"AYA …. YOHJI what happened?" Omi screamed breathless and looked at the shooter "what the hell happened to him … I think I feel sick"

"He tricked me" Yohji answered in a very cold tone "AND he hurt Aya"

"Aya let me take a look at your wound" Ken said worried.

"We don't have time for that" Aya said in a low tone "I'm sure the police will be here soon"

"Ok but when we're home the first thing we will do is to check your wound" Ken said serious.

"Yohji help Aya to put off his coat and shirt" Omi commanded while he searched the first aid kid.

"The bullet went straight through your shoulder over the collarbone, you had luck a few centimetres more to the left side and it had hit your neck" Omi said relieved that Aya had so much luck.

Yohji closed his eyes as he heard that it failed his neck only at a few centimetres, he had the vision on his mind.

"Ok I bandaged it and I pumped him up with painkillers" Omi sighed "Ken please tidy up and clean the table"

"Can I take him with me" Yohji asked with a tired voice.

"Yeah … make sure he will rest; he lost a lot of blood" Omi said and gave Yohji a soft smile.

"Don't talk about me like that, I'm still awake" Aya said and tried to stand up, but the painkillers were strong and his balance was messed up.

Yohji stood next to him and put an arm behind his knees and his back "Sorry" Yohji said and lifted him up, Aya lay in Yohji arms and snuggled against Yohjis chest, he was so tired that he ignored his pride and fell asleep before they reached the room.

"Sleep my love" Yohji whispered while he covered Aya up "I'm so sorry it's my fault" he fell onto his knees and cried, with one hand he held his chest, it ached so much.

_~ I left his side to save __**her**__, what was I thinking!_

_I can't get the image out of my mind; I have so many bad memories every time I think it can't be worse…._

_The look in Ayas eyes …He thought he would die, I could see so many feeling in his wide eyes … pain, fear, sadness and repentance._

_I want to know what you thought at the time …_

_My heart is aching … I let him almost die ~_

All of a sudden Yohji felt a hand on his shoulder "it wasn't your fault" Aya whispered tired and with glassy eyes.

"I left your side for …. For **her**" Yohji sobbed "I'm so sorry I swore to protect you but I failed again"

"You tried to save a teammate you couldn't know that it will turn out like that" Aya said soft and caress Yohjis cheek "It wasn't your fault"

"But I left your side ….she isn't that important" Yohji gasped

"**I** ran after **you**! …. If I hadn't ran after you I would be fine…. but my soul were shattered coz I'm sure **you would be dead** ….. And I'm happy about the fact that he changed his mind and shoot at me"

"I can't live with the fact that I left your side" Yohji cried breathless

"I ran after you so you **were** by my side" Aya said and stood up, it was really painful but Yohji needed him "ouch" he hissed.

"Aya remain laying!" Yohji said and looked at Aya with pain filled eyes but Aya didn't listen, he kneeled next to Yohji and took him into his arms "I don't regret it" he whispered in a soft tone. Yohji buried his face on Ayas chest and had a good cry, after he stopped crying Aya put Yohjis head into his hands and looked deep into his eyes "I will stay by your side and I will protect you at any price … It wasn't your fault, **it was my decision** to follow you and I know that you won't leave my side on purpose" he said in a serious but lovingly tone.

Yohji wiped his tears away and gave Aya a sad smile "Go back to bed … I feel better now"

"I go back to bed when you will sleep next to me" Aya said in a weak tone before he collapsed and fell forward into Yohjis arms, he lifted Aya up and put him to bed.

He watched Aya for a while before he went to bed.

Chika lay on her bed with a picture of Yohji in her hands

_~ Why didn't you die …? He has more lives than a cat._

_My plan was great but I didn't thought he would be a bad shooter at least not that bad._

_I paid a lot of money but nooo the redhead is still alive._

_I think I will follow up my first plan, by now It was __of__no__avail__ but maybe when he's weak like that my plan will work in the end._

_When not I will kill him with my own hands!_

_You will be mine, mine alone!! ~_


	11. Misunderstanding

Aya woke up and felt that he had a fever again; he looked at Yohji and watched him for a while before he stood up.

He knew Yohji was tired and decided to let him sleep.

After he saw that Yohji shivered, he went back to the bed and covered him up before he left the room.

He went into the kitchen "Hey" Aya said and took a cup of tea.

"You're Ok?" Omi doted worried "do you want to eat?"

"It's better and yes I'm hungry" he said and smiled at him "where's Ken?"

"He's playing with his soccer kids" Omi answered while he prepared the breakfast for Aya.

"Is Yohji still sleeping?"

"Yeah it was a hard night for him" Aya answered sad "Can you make something for Yohji, too?"

"Sure" Omi said and smiled.

Aya went back into Yohjis room and carried a tray with Yohjis breakfast; he put the tray on a table.

Aya sat down on an armchair and watched his lover, Yohji looked exhausted and his eyes were still swollen. Yohji shifted uneasy from the right to the left side, he new that Yohji had a nightmare again.

He observed him so that he could interfere when the nightmare got worse but Yohji calmed down from alone, and after a while Aya fell asleep again.

Yohji woke up and turned around to look at Aya but he wasn't by his side.

"Aya where are you? … I knew he's angry" Yohji said in a sad tone.

He stood up and wanted to take his clothes but stopped before he arrived at his wardrobe

_~ Aya is still here? I thought he was angry with me!_

_Why do you sleep on the armchair it's uncomfortable and cold_

"Morning" Aya said with a tired voice "I brought your breakfast but I think your coffee is cold, now"

Yohji looked at the tray and was sure that it was cold.

"Go back to bed Aya" Yohji said and touched Ayas forehead "You run a fever again"

"I don't want to" he answered and stood up "I go and warm up your breakfast"

"No I will do it myself" he said and shoved Aya to his bed "you will wait for me right here"

"But you will come back?" Aya asked and looked at him with worry in his eyes

Yohji was shocked "Of course …. What do you think?"

"I made you sad again and I thought …. "

"You didn't make me sad …. How do you get the idea?" Yohji asked and looked deep into Ayas eyes "You cried so much last night and it was because of me"

"I cried because I was angry with me, I felt guilty …. It wasn't your fault!" he said in a sad tone "It wasn't your fault" and went out of the room.

Yohji went to the roof; he wanted to clear his head

_~ I make him worry …. His psyche is still unstable … I should take better care of him._

_How can you look at me like nothing happened you almost died because I tried to protect her, I didn't thought that he could do something to Aya. … It was all my fault … everything was my fault._

_The feelings of pain, fear, sadness and repentance in your eyes …. Did you regret to love me? Did you felt like I betrayed you? Were you sad because you thought I let you die?_

_I wanted to be your rainbow but now … I'm the fire in your personal hell … ~_

"I knew you're here" a deep voice said and placed himself close to Yohji "It wasn't your fault … when it's what you're thinking"

"I said you should wait for me" Yohji said a bit angry; Aya was still pale and his skin was cold, it wasn't good for him to be on the roof.

"You didn't come and I thought it's better when I look after you" Aya said and looked at Yohji, he seemed to be very tired and Aya knew Yohji reflected the whole job again, again and again.

"You want to know what I felt, right?" Aya said and gave Yohji a little smile

"I- I… Where do you get that from?" Yohji was confused, was it that obvious or read Aya his mind again, Aya tended to know what Yohji thought or felt.

"You thought out loud" Aya said and gave him a soft chuckle.

"Oh I didn't realise it" he answered and looked down on the street.

Aya watched Yohji for a few minutes, he had thought Yohji would talk with him or at least look at him, he decided to tell him what he wanted to know even if Yohji ignored him.

"I felt pain because I thought I won't see you again, I thought I would die without telling you that I love you, and that I'm sorry to break the promise to stay alive.

I regretted that I can't go with you to the park; I wished that I could see the beautiful trees with you.

I felt guilt too …. I felt guilty because I thought I would leave you alone and the last thing I want is to make you sad." Aya told him, Aya looked at the sky while he told Yohji what he felt. It started to rain and Aya felt the raindrops on his skin "You said you're my rainbow so tell me, when the rain is over will you still shine for me?" he said and tried to see what Yohji felt but without success.

"Please go Aya … **go**" Yohji said harsh and Ayas eyes widened a bit; Yohji wanted him to leave that hurt him a lot.

"……" he went back inside, he couldn't stand the thought that Yohji still blamed himself and he felt lonely.

Yohji stood for 10 more minutes on the roof before he went back into the house, he didn't want to hurt Aya but he couldn't believe that Ayas last thoughts were only filled with him.

He felt like Aya lied to him even though he knew Aya wouldn't lie about something like that

_~ I think he said that to console me, I can't believe he only had me on his mind__ … but why do I deceive myself … to be honest he's always on my mind too._

_Did you feel the same? Was that the reason you broke up with me?_

_I should have told him why I wanted him to leave; I hope he didn't understand me wrong._

_The cold rain isn't good for him_

"Hey Yohji" Omi said and looked at Yohji "you were at the roof?"

"Yeah I wanted to think" Yohji said and gave him a soft smile.

"but please put on dry clothes you will catch a cold …." Omi asked and took yoghurt out of the fridge "Where's Aya?" he added.

"I think in my room" he answered and looked at Omi.

"No he isn't I looked everywhere so I thought he's with you" Omi said and looked at Yohji full of expectation.

Yohji stood up and took his jacket "I will search him, please stay at home I don't want that he's alone when he comes home" Omi nodded and sat down on a chair.

"I will search with you!" Chika said; it's creepy how she appears always out of nowhere, the boys thought.

"No, I will search him alone" Yohji said, he knew it would make thinks worse when she came with him.

"But I'm sure we will find him faster when we search together" and looked at Yohji before she took her jacket "I will go too"

"It's better when I go alone" he said and glared at her "I don't want you near him"

"What the … I try to care for some one and you say you don't want me to be near him?" she yelled "I'm better then him … you will see, he will break you one day" and stormed upstairs; the boys could hear that she slammed her door.

"She's crazy … I will look for informations about her" Omi said and sighed "Yohji you should go"

"You're right and when you find something call me" he said and ran out of the house.


	12. Promise

"Where are you" Yohji said to himself while he was on his way to the hospital.

He searched for over two hours now, he went to a bar near the shop, some times Aya went with him to the bar to drink.

Then he visited the graves of Ayas parents, Aya showed it to him a few weeks ago because he thought when he knew where Asuka was buried he should show Yohji where his loved ones were buried.

After that he went through the alleys, he hoped to find Aya somewhere but he didn't find him by chance so he decided to go to the hospital.

Yohji entered the hospital but he couldn't find a nurse "where are they?" he muttered and went to Aya-chans room.

"Hey Aya-chan" Yohji said friendly "you're brother isn't here either huh?"

Yohji looked around but Aya wasn't there but the flower bouquet looked new so he was there today.

"Say Aya-chan, why can't I protect your brother, why can't I make him happy …… Sorry I can't stay longer this time but I will come again … See you"

He said before he went out of the room and caught sight of a nurse "Sorry … do you know a Ran Fujimiya?"

"You mean the older brother from Miss Aya?" she said and smiled at him

"Yeah … can you tell me when he left? … We wanted to meet but I can't find him" Yohji lied and gave her a sexy smile.

She blushed "He left one hour ago"

"Thank you" Yohji said and went out of the hospital, the nurse was disappointed, she thought Yohji was flirting with her.

Yohji couldn't think clear he was so worried, Aya was sick and alone

_How could I say you should leave; now you're alone in the rain._

_What will happen when you can't breathe, who will take care of you?_

_Please be ok, please be alive I can't live without you!_

_I said I should be careful because of your psyche but I did everything else then to take care of your soul._

_What have I done!_

_Aya where are you? Yohji think, think, think__ ... where could he be ….._

_Oh my …. I hope I'm wrong …. It's bad for his health ~_

Yohji reached the park near the shop, he hoped that he won't find Aya; at the beginning it looked like he wasn't there but after a few minutes Yohji saw a figure under the Sakura tree and he knew it was Aya.

"Aya wake up" Yohji said soft and shook Ayas shoulder gently.

Aya sat under the tree his arms were put around his legs while his chin rested on his knees.

"Aya …. Come on ..." Yohji said worried.

"What do you want" he whispered in a sad tone "have you decided what you want to do?"

"I will stay by your side and protect you … I-I wanted to be alone for a while because I felt guilty and it hurt to be near you but I never wanted to leave you" Yohji said and kneeled in front of Aya "Now I know how you felt and why you broke up with me…"

Aya looked up with tears filled eyes "… so you do want to leave?" he sobbed

"NO … I thought about it for fraction of a second but when you broke up with me I felt alone like I lost my home and you …. You tried to commit suicide …. "Yohji said and touched Ayas cheek, his cheek was cold and red from the cold rain.

"I know that I can't live without you and I know that you can't live without me …. Let us live together and also let us die together …. How do you feel about this? "he said and waited for Ayas answer.

"I don't want you to die" Aya said in a low tone "I want you to live a long and happy life"

He took Aya into his arms "I don't want to live without you and I can't be happy without you"

"So can I go home now?" Aya said absent minded "can I stay by your side?"

Yohji tightened the hug very carefully, he didn't want to reopen Ayas wounds again "Of course" Yohji said shocked, how could Aya think that he can't go home

"That's good … you said I should leave and I thought you wanted me to disappear"

"Aya believe me I never want you to leave … I said it because the cold rain isn't good for your health … I only wanted that you go back to bed" he said and caressed Ayas back.

"Let's go home …. Your fever is really high" Yohji said and helped Aya to stand up

"It's ok but you will catch a cold" Aya said and looked at Yohji but Yohji watched him with a confused look in his eyes.

"You worry about me? You're the one with the fever … I won't let you out of the bed for the next few days" Aya opened his mouth to say something but Yohji glared at him and he decided that it's better to remain silent.

"You're home … thank god we were worried" Omi yelled "don't dare to disappear again" he sighed.

"Sorry" Aya muttered, Omi was relieved and his anger faded away "go to bed Aya" he said in a soft tone "I will prepare a can of tea"

"Thank you Omi" Yohji said and gave Omi a friendly smile

"Ok Aya … comes on" he said and took Ayas hand.

He led Aya to his room "I can change my clothes alone" Aya said like a kid.

"You can't move your arm properly and you're in pain I can see that on your movements" he said and changed Ayas shirt and trousers "and now you will go to bed"

"Yeah" Aya said and went to bed; Yohji set next to him and touched Ayas soft cheek.

"From now on I will repair your unstable psyche … a broken Aya is creepy" he said and gave Aya a tight kiss on his forehead and he could see a little grin on Yohjis face.

"Yeah … it is creepy" Aya chuckled "but a sad Yohji isn't better"

"I will work on it" Yohji said and laughed before he crawled under the blanket "good night my love"

Aya shifted a bit to the side to find a comfortable position before he took Yohjis hand into his own and hold them against his chest "Good night" he answered and lowered his head a bit to kiss Yohjis hand "and don't worry nothing was your fault"

"Thank you Aya … thank you" he said before he fell asleep.

Chika sat in her room and was still angry

_~ He tries to expel me from his life, I can't accept it …_

_And again it's the redheads fault …._

_This time I changed the composition ….smells nice, I love it to create new perfumes when I'm angry, I calm down and can think clearly._

_I hope he will like the smell too, it's stronger than usual._

_I want his attention back!_

_I will take him away from you be prepared redhead I will destroy you! ~_


	13. Check up

Yohji woke up before the sun rose; he looked at Aya and could see that he was still asleep.

He tightened his grab around Aya and with one hand he touched Ayas forehead as he felt him shiver.

Aya ran a fever and his skin was cold as ice, Yohji huddled against Aya and tried to give him some of his warmth.

As he felt Ayas skin warm up he relaxed and fell asleep while he felt Ayas soft breathe against his skin, he loved the feeling when his hot breathe touched his skin.

"Yohji …. Yohji wake up it's late" Aya whispered into Yohjis ear and stroke his shoulder.

"Oh we slept that long" muttered after he watched at his clock "….where do you think you're going" Yohji said in a sharp tone because Aya staggered out of the bed.

"For little Bengal tigers" he said and gave Yohji a weak smile "and don't dare to follow me I can piss alone"

Yohji laughed "yeah I know you can" it looked like Aya regained some of his mental strength.

Yohji was worried Aya needed a long time so he decided to look after him but before he reached the bathroom he could hear the shower.

He was relieved that Aya only took a shower and didn't collapse "I can her him move" he whispered to himself and leant against the door frame.

"Hey Yohji what are you waiting for?" Chika said in a friendly tone and examined him

"I'm waiting for Aya" Yohji said cold, meanwhile Aya finished his shower and put his clothes on, he needed a while for the shower because he must be careful with his wounds.

He put only his trousers on, he tried to put on his shirt but it hurt like hell also he decided that he don't need it.

He opened the door and saw that Yohji leant against the door frame and glared at Chika.

"Hello Aya" she said in a played friendly tone "I hope you're feeling better"

"I'm fine" Aya said in a polite tone and went back to his room, he couldn't stand her presence and he hated her new perfume, the scent was to strong.

"Aya wait for me" Yohji said and followed him into the room but before he went through the door he said "Hey Chika …. The scent of your perfume is to strong … I was staggered as I smelled it at the beginning"

"Oh but it's my favourite perfume _and I have your attention (chuckle)…_ You will get used to it I'm sure" she answered and smiled at him.

"Do you want something to eat?" Yohji asked before he took Ayas shirt from the shelf and helped him to put it on.

"I'm not hungry" Aya answered and coughed.

"Aya can't you breath?" Yohji asked worried "Aya say something"

"I – I don't know something is strange …. Cough …. Cough …. I fe-el dizzy and …."

Aya fell on his knees and coughed heavily "hel-p me … plea-se he-l-p"

Yohji ran to Aya and hugged him from behind to calm him down "shhh … I'm here" he said in a soft tone but it didn't work Ayas body tensed "Y-o-hj-i" he gasped and started to cry, he was afraid his lung burned and his whole body felt strange.

"Aya … calm down please …." Yohji said, Ayas body shook uncontrollable and hot tears ran down his cheeks.

Yohji tightened his hug to let him feel that he's not alone, and to prevent that Aya hurt himself but it was hard to hold Ayas shaking body.

"God … Aya" he said and pressed Aya against his chest "what can I do …. What can I do" he whispered scared "don't forget that we want to die together … you can't leave me like that".

Yohji hoped that Aya would fight against the attack when he reminds him of the promise but he didn't believe in it.

His lips were blue and he couldn't control his own body

_~ I will die … I will suffocate._

_Why can't I control my body … my muscles hurt so much and my lung is burning._

_Yohji is so warm … he must be scared …. ………….. I don't want to go like that ………….. I don't want to leave him ……. Yohji ….. Yohji ~_

"Ran don't give up …fight, fight for your life" Yohji yelled and sobbed, his hot tears dripped down on Ayas shoulder.

Aya stared with glassy eyes into nowhere, he was in his own world but Yohjis voice reached him, Yohji begged for Aya to live and his wish was heard.

_He called me Ran …. He's not only scared he panics._

_I can't stop breathing …. I have to breathe it doesn't matter how much it hurt._

_I won't leave him ….. …….. Breathe …. Breathe_

_I can feel your tears through my shirt … please stop crying … I will do my best ~_

After a while Ayas body started to relax, his breathe was weak but the pain faded.

"Aya oh god Aya" Yohji stuttered, he wasn't sure if the attack was over or if Aya died.

Aya squeezed Yohjis hand to signal to him that he was still alive "Aya … what happened It was … It was …..(sob)"

"I don't know …cough… but it w-as sc-ary" Aya panted and thought he will pass out.

"I bring you to bed" Yohji whispered still in shock and lifted Aya up.

Yohji covered Aya up and lay down next to him; he clung on Aya as if a tomorrow didn't exist.

"Aya how do you feel?" he asked worried and looked into his eyes

"better … I'm tired … "Aya said sleepy and closed his eyes.

"I will ask the doc" Yohji said and caress Ayas chest; he knew it wasn't a normal attack there was something wrong.

_~ It wasn't a__n attack like the others … maybe because he caught a cold? … no it can't be._

_I will find the answer Aya … and we will go to the hospital tomorrow._

_I was so scared I couldn't consol him I didn't know what to do or to say … I'm sorry my love … I'm sorry ~_

"Morning" Yohji said, he was extremely tired because he watched the whole night over Aya.

He took a cup of coffee and fell on a chair next to Ken.

"Yohji what happened you look as if a lorry drove over you" Ken said and waited for an answer but Yohji said nothing.

"Yohji tell us what happened" Omi said worried and reached him a plate with toast.

Yohji sighed and took a toast "he had an attack" and bite into his toast

"Was it that bad again" Ken asked in a soft tone

"It was never that bad before ….. He couldn't breathe and his body shook uncontrollable … I thought he will die"

"but it should heal … is his cold the cause?" Omi doted worried

"I don't think so …. It's something else" he answered and stood up to prepare tea for Aya

"Did you find out something about her?"

"No … but I will continue my search" Omi said and gave Yohji a sad smile

"Good ….. I will go with Aya to the hospital … I think we will come home late" Yohji said and put the tea can on a tray.

"Ok" Ken said "and don't worry Aya will be fine" Omi added to console him but Yohji gave him only a false smile and went back to Aya.

"They're tired … I think they can't stand it anymore the events of the last months are too much for them …" Omi said in a sad tone, he felt like his family began to fall apart.

"I think they will fight and as for the mental strain I think they will get over it … so don't worry" Ken said and stood up, he felt that Omi needed him so he hugged him tight.

Ken could understand how Omi felt, he knew that Yohji and Aya were in a dangerous condition but he was convinced that they will cure each other.

They stayed 7 hours at the hospital the doc made a lot of test, they stuck him with large needles at least 6 times and they pestered him until Aya hit one of the male nurses as he tried to touch his chest with obvious pleasure.

Yohji chuckled, he was proud of his redhead; the male nurse slid across the room on his ass and thudded against the wall, Yohji thought that he couldn't gave him a better hit himself.

"Abyssinian don't kill the nurses" the doc said and grinned "and you Balinese don't only watch and grin"

"He deserved it" Yohji answered and glared at the male nurse "he touched him without permission"

"Without permission … we touch and pestered him the whole day" she said and raised an eyebrow

"He enjoyed it to much" Aya said in a cold tone "only one person is allowed to touch me like that"

Yohji looked at Aya and gave him a warm smile; the male nurse was totally confused the great Abyssinian had already someone?

The hospital personal made a bet, years ago, the goal was it to get one of Kritikers assassins.

Assassins earn a lot of money and especially the killers of Kritiker are awfully hot, they are popular with the nurses and male nurses. The members of Weiss were their favourites every time they were hospitalized, the whole staffs were excited.

"Haha ok …." She laughed but turned serious again "We couldn't find anything except for the fact that your lung can't heal"

"Why?" Yohji asked worried and stared at her like he could read her mind if he tried hard enough.

"I don't know … Did he have contact with gas, fume or something like that?"

"No … he hadn't contact with gas or fume but he caught a cold" Yohji said and looked at Aya.

"The cold is bad for his lung but not the main reason for the attack" she sighed and thought about it "now we must wait for the blood results … I will call you when I get the results and Yohji I want to test your blood too …. I have a bad feeling"

"You won't tell us am I right" Yohji sighed frustrated

"No I won't … but I saw symptoms like that somewhere before" she answered and Yohji knew he won't get the informations he wanted.

"Can I take him home with me?" Yohji asked in a calm tone.

"Yeah you can … but take good care of him … and when he should have a new attack get him to me"

"Why do the people always act as if I'm not present?" Aya asked and looked from Yohji to the doc.

"Sorry Abyssinian" she said and smiled at him "I will give you a medicament … when you have an attack Yohji will inject it in your arm"

"The last time his body shook like crazy I can't inject him something" Yohji objected

"It's a special syringe… the fluid will be injected trough pressure so you can't hurt him that much" she said and showed him the syringe.

"Good …. Wait Aya I will help you" Yohji said as he saw that Aya tried to put his clothes on

"Oh before I forget it … Yohji I prepared a pack of bandages, ointments and antibiotics for the wounds" she said in a soft but reproachful tone before she went out of the room and took the male nurse in tow, she knew if he would stay the bet would be over soon and she loved the bet to much as if she would risk to end it only because it turned out that Weiss was gay … no way.

She grinned and thought how envious the others would be when she told them that she treated a member of Weiss again; yeah she was the queen of the hospital.

"Aya be careful you still have a fever" Yohji said in a gentle tone and helped him to stand up.

"I know" Aya muttered and staggered a bit as he tried to stand up, he grabbed Yohjis hand "I'm sorry to make you worry" he said in a sad tone.

Yohji squeezed Ayas little hand "I'm happy that you're ok now" he whispered and looked deep into Ayas beautiful violet eyes "please don't scare me like that again"

"I will try …." He answered and gave Yohji a shy smile "I'm only alive because you called me … I could hear you when I was lost in the dark … like a rainbow shone your voice through the darkness."

A tear ran down Yohjis cheek "I thought I can't help you … I was so shocked I didn't know what to say or what to do"

Aya wiped the tear away with a soft touch "I only need your presence I need to feel your warmth" he said and smiled at Yohji before he gave him a soft kiss.

"Aya we should go your fever is high" Yohji smiled and stroke a wisp out of Ayas face "Yohji?" Aya whispered shy "Yeah?" Yohji answered and looked at his beloved redhead

"While the attack you said Ran to me" he said and sat down on the bed again, he felt dizzy.

"Oh I'm sorry" Yohji said he didn't want to disgust him.

"That's not it … but could you call me Ran sometimes … even if you not panic" he said and blushed. He was red like a tomato.

Yohjis eyes glittered with happiness and he smiled like a little kid in a candy shop "Really?"

Aya blushed harder he didn't expect that Yohji will be happy like that "really" he said and smiled "I love it when you call me Ran it sounds so …"

"… like you?" Yohji added and touched his cheek, Aya looked at him and Yohji could see in his eyes that he was right.

"It's time for us to go home" Yohji said and helped Aya to stand up; he put one arm around Ayas waist to support him.

While they left the hospital the nurses and doctors were staring at them but no one got the chance to make a move on them.

"We are back …" Yohji yelled through the house and grinned as he heard Omi rushed down the stairs.

"And what did she say?" he asked breathless and looked worried at Aya

"She don't know… we must wait for the blood results" Yohji said and pated Omis shoulder "don't worry Omi … he won't leave us … right Aya?" he turned his head to look at Aya.

"Right" he agreed "I will be the pain in your ass also in the future"

Omi looked confused; did Aya really make a joke? He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.

"Aya you're really all right?" Ken asked with a frown

"Hahahaa …. I think that's the fault of the painkillers he got before we left the hospital" Yohji laughed, he knew Aya could make jokes but he seldom done it in front of the kids.

That was one of the things he valued, there were things only Yohji was allowed to see, like his beautiful Ran smile, his jokes and his laugh. Yohji heard him laugh only one time but he loved the sound of it and he was the only one who heard him laugh and that made him proud.

"We bought Sushi so if you want we have enough" Omi said and smiled, it looks like Ayas joke cheered him up.

"Thank you" Aya said and staggered to Yohji "let me help you" Yohji said and put his arm around his waist to support him.

"Sit down … be careful" Yohji said and helped him to sit down; Ayas felt like his knees were made out of pudding.

"Thank you … I should get back on my feet soon …It starts to be awkward" Aya whispered to Yohji but the boys harked and heard him too. They smiled at the thought that their strong leader was weak enough to own up that he feels awkward in front of Yohji.

"Let's eat" Omi said cheerful and served the Sushi.

They ate together in peace, Chika wasn't at home and they had time to relax. They could do what they want, kiss, hold hands and talk about all the world and his wife, ok the boys did that Yohji seldom did one of the thing in front of the boys and Aya knew Yohji hated it to look gay.

"I go to bed" Aya said and stood up "good night" he said and gave them a soft smile.

"Wait for me" Yohji said and put the dishes into the sink "I will help you"

"You can stay with the kids for a while you dedicate the most of your time to me" Aya said and looked at him "take time for yourself"

"I want to spent my time with you" he answered and went to Aya "I won't let you alone"

"but …" Aya gave Yohji a shy look "when you still fell guilty …"

"Do you think I care for you because I fell guilty? …" Yohji asked in a hurt tone "do you really think that?"

"Maybe" Aya said and looked away but Yohji stared at him and grabbed his shoulder "you're lying" he whispered into Ayas ear.

"… you need time for yourself it isn't healthy for you to care only about me … go drinking, talk with the kids but do something you like" Aya said and had a defeated look on his face.

"Aya … listen to me" Yohji said and placed his hands on Ayas cheeks "I don't need it anymore, I can only be happy when you're with me …. I would worry the whole time, what if you can't breath, what if he's lonely, what if he needs his injection, what if his wounds hurt, what if…., what if …, what if … " he said and sounded sad.

"I will make you sick" Aya said and put his hands of Yohjis "You need sleep and a rest"

"No I feel good by your side and I can only sleep when I can feel your warmth next to me"

"Are you sure you can stand it?" Aya asked and looked like a little kid up to him.

"Yeah I can and I want …. I love you Ran" he said and gave him a soft kiss,

Aya smiled at him before he passed out, the whole day was too vigorous for him.

Yohji carried him to bed and covered him up after he changed his clothes against comfortable pyjama "I think it grow into a habit" he whispered and smiled at Aya.

Yohji was extremely tired and he slept soundly for a long time, he felt relaxed after they visited the hospital he knew he had a medicament and Ayas wounds were treated professionally.

Chika came home after every one went already to bed

_~ I don't understand why he's still alive … They said his last attack was really dangerous._

_Your will power must be huge … but why? I don't understand it what can the reason be for him to walk through so much pain …_

_This time I will kill him, I still need an extra plan but I'm sure It will work this time._

_But what will plan B be? I want something perfidious… or a really brutal and painful plan?_

_I should consult my pillow… I look forward to it ….. It will be fun ~_

"Hey Aya" Yohji shook him very gentle "you're ok?"

Aya opened slowly his eyes and looked at Yohji "yeah … "Aya gasped "it will be fine soon"

Yohji caress Ayas chest, he was worried because his breath rattled but it was only a light attack.

"Ok then let us sleep a little bit more" Yohji said and closed his eyes "I love you" he added, he felt that he didn't tell him enough how much he loves him.

"I love you too … I really do" he answered sleepy and search for a comfortable position "my shoulder hurts"

"Do you want some painkillers?" Yohji asked and was already half out of bed to get the pills

"Thank you" Aya whispered and tried to sit up, Yohji came back with two pills and a glass of water "and now sleep" Yohji ordered in a soft tone and helped Aya to lie down.


	14. Shards

`Knock Knock`

"Yeah?" Yohji asked sleepy and stood up, before he opened the door he put on his trousers.

"Morning" Yohji Omi said cheerful "can I come in?"

"Sure" Yohji said confused and rubbed his eyes.

"Ken tries to deal with Chika so we have time to talk" he said in a serious tone and sat on the armchair.

Aya only blinked at Omi he needed time to focus on him "What happened?" Aya asked and tried to stand up "wait I will help you" Yohji said and saw worry in Omis eyes "don't worry Omi he got painkillers two hours ago so his world is a bit messed up"

"Then I'm relieved" he sighed and watched them "I found something about her"

"Good" Yohji said and sat next to Aya therewith his redhead can lean against him "and what did you find out?"

"You won't like it" Omi said serious "I think she's something like a stalker"

"Stalker?" Aya said shocked he had expected a lot of things but that … not really; Yohji put an arm around Aya to calm him down.

"She follows me?" Yohji said perplex "what makes you think that?"

"She's obsessed with you … she lived near your house when you were kids, after you moved away she followed you … believe it or not but her parents died through carbon monoxide poisoning … since that day she lived with her aunt at the same town as you"

"Maybe it was an accident?" Yohji said, he couldn't believe that she followed him for years.

"She's our poison queen I don't think it was an accident …. And when you moved again she moved too, she lived at the same town as you when Asuka died some people saw her at the cemetery." Yohji was shocked he didn't know what to say, he still couldn't believe it.

"After you joined Weiss she searched for you and became an assassin too" Omi continued.

Yohji stood up; Aya almost fell to the side because his only support jumped up in rage.

"She was near when Asuka died?!" he hissed "she laughed at her death?! …I'm sure she mentally danced on her grave"

"Yohji please calm down" Aya said in a soft tone "you makes me nervous" he added in a whisper "Calm down … she's still laughing about Asukas death … and you say I should calm down … damned she was the love of my life" he said and stormed out of the room, Aya sat on the bed with wide eyes and a terribly shocked and hurt expression.

"Aya he didn't mean it that way" Omi said to console him but he knew he couldn't help him so he decided to leave him alone for a while … and to stop Yohji before he could do something stupid again.

Aya lay down on the bed, he wasn't able to hold his tears back and he covered his face with his hands

_~ I know that she was the love of your life but did you have to remind me?_

_Would you be sad when I die? Would you feel the same?_

_I knew everything was a lie, the only reason you stay by my side is that you're afraid of being alone._

_I fight the whole time for my live because you said you can't live without me … and what did I get …. I'm still Asukas replacement_

_I don't want to; I don't want to be a substitute anymore! ~_

Yohji went to the roof to think but Omi followed him to clarify his position

"Yohji!" he roared "do you sometimes use your brain before you say something"

"I don't want to talk, let me alone" Yohji ordered but it made Omi angrier "do you know what you've done?" he yelled "do you know what you've done to him?"

"Calm down" Yohji answered and looked down on the street "he knows that I meant it not like that"

"Are you sure?" Omi yelled "do you really think he will understand? I think he won't" he added in a low and angry tone, but loud enough for Yohji to hear it before he went back into the house.

"Did I really hurt him again?" Yohji whispered to him self "maybe I should say that I'm sorry … Omi was right" after he calmed down and cleared his head; he went back to his room.

"Aya" Yohji said and went slowly to the bed "Aya I want to talk to you"

Aya opened his eyes and looked at Yohji as if nothing had happened "yeah?"

"I want to say that I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that" Yohji said in an embarrassed tone.

"I know" Aya said and gave Yohji a soft smile "It's ok"

Yohji was relieved, for a while he wasn't sure if Aya really understood him.

"Try to sleep!" Yohji said and whipped a strand out of Ayas face "you need to rest"

Aya nodded and snuggled into the blanket he was still tired from the painkillers and he was tired of his life.

"I will go into the kitchen when you need something call me" Yohji said before he left the room, Aya act as if he would sleep.

After Yohji left Aya stared at the ceiling, he remembered his family, his smiling sister and the time he had with Weiss and especially with Yohji.

"Hey Yohji" Chika said cheerful "you're all right? You look tired"

"I'm fine" he answered and made a cup of coffee "and you?"

"Better" she said "I think I got over you"

"Good … you don't have a chance you know" he said while he watched her expression

"I know" she said and had a strange look in her eyes; Yohji didn't know what it was but it made him worry.

"I have to go to a meeting … see you later" she said and smiled at him, she was definitely trying to seduce him but he ignored it.

Omi entered the kitchen and glared at Yohji "Hey Omi … I said sorry to him" Yohji said and sat down on a chair.

"Good … and is he angry?" Omi asked and took a chair far away from Yohji

"He said he knew I didn't mean it like that" Yohji answered and sipped on his coffee

"And do you believe him?" Omi asked suspicious

"Why not?" Yohji asked confused, he didn't know a reason for Aya to lie.

"You know him, he keeps still about his thoughts and feelings; Ken and I noticed that he opened up but we don't think anymore that the reason is your relationship" Omi said serious and glared at him.

"And what should the reason be?" Yohji asked, he knew Aya was labile but it was better.

"We think he wants to left a good impression just in case he should die … it started the day Chika kissed you the first time … have you notice it?" Omi asked and stood up "take good care of him if you let him fall … Ken and I will kick your ass" he impended and went back into the shop.

"He won't …." Yohji whispered but now he wasn't sure anymore "or did he lie?"

"Aya wake up Omi prepared food for you" Yohji said and shook Aya gently "come on …."

Aya opened his eyes and looked at Yohji for a while before he gave him a soft smile "smells good"

"I help you to sit up" Yohji said and pulled Aya into an upright position, Aya stiffened a bit as Yohji touched him. His wounds hurt badly but what hurts the most was his soul, he couldn't stand Yohjis gentle touch.

"Thank you" Aya said and took the dish from the tray, Aya loved Omis cookery.

"Aya you're ok?" Yohji asked and handled him with care; there was something in Ayas eyes he didn't like.

"I'm fine" he said and looked at Yohji with a false smile "and you?"

"I'm fine … I'm fine" Yohji answered and eyed him "Omi thinks that you're lying"

"What?" Aya looked shocked, he thought he hid it well "why should he think something like that ..." he added.

"He says that you're acting and that I'm too stupid to see it" Yohji said and gave Aya a little grin.

"He's mistaken" Aya answered and looked into his dish to escape Yohjis gaze.

"really?" Yohji asked and now he could see what Omi tried to tell him, Aya built up a new protective wall.

_~ How could I overlook it? Was I to busy with myself or didn't I want to see it…._

_Everything he did, everything he said was all an act._

_You're fine …. Lie, you know what I meant … Lie, you overreacted …. Lie!_

_You only said the truth as you broke up with me, right? You really opened up to live a last time before you die aren't you? ~_

"Don't stare at me" Aya said and blushed a bit "I will take over my shift at the shop today"

"What? No" Yohji said surprised as Aya pulled him out of his thoughts "you will stay in bed"

"Omi and Ken are working hard on the shop … I won't let them take over more of my shifts" he said and looked serious.

"No … we can close the shop earlier but I won't let you work" Yohji ordered.

"I'm bored and I hate it to sit around AND I'm the leader it is my choice if I work today or not" Aya said cold, he was sure that he opened his mouth too wide.

"So you are angry" Yohji detected and sat down next to the redhead "Aya tell me what you're thinking … I can't read your mind … I can't help you when you won't tell me a thing"

"I don't want your help … I only need your love … that's all" he said and looked deep into Yohjis eyes, he searched for a sign of love or affection but everything he saw was frustration.

"I love you how often have I to tell you that I love you" Yohji said annoyed "I really do … why can't you understand"

"You're lonely and that's the reason you're going out with me, you mistook friendship for love" Aya said and stood up.

Yohji didn't know what to say, he was overcharged with Ayas reproach, before he found his speech again Aya was gone.

Yohji ran after him "Aya wait ... We have to talk" he yelled and grabbed Ayas arm "stop"

"Let go of me" Aya said cold and struggled, his breathe rattled again.

"Aya let us talk in peace it's better for your health" Yohji said and pulled Aya back into the house but Yohji walked to fast Aya couldn't keep up with him.

"You're to fast" he gasped "I can't…" Yohji turned around and saw how the colour drained out of Ayas cheeks "I'm sorry" he whispered and stopped, they stood in the middle of the hallway. Yohjis room were only a few steps away but Aya looked like he will pass out … and It's liable to happen soon.

"Aya only a few steps" Yohji said in a soft tone but he knew the answer already, he pulled Aya into his arms and sat down with him on the floor. Aya sat between Yohjis long legs, his shoulder was pressed against Yohjis warm chest, Yohji hugged him tight and held his head against Yohjis shoulder.

"Better?" Yohji asked worried but Aya didn't respond "Aya?"

Aya could hear Yohjis strong heartbeat and he felt Yohjis warmth on his cheek, he loved the feeling but It made him so terrible sad.

"I'm not her" Aya answered after a few minutes, Yohji was relieved and sad at the same time, he was happy that Aya was still with him but Ayas sentence broke his heart.

"I know that" he said and caresses Ayas cheek "you're my Aya"

"I'm only a substitute" Aya said and grabbed Yohjis shirt, he wanted to touch him.

"You're not a substitute" Yohji whispered serious and squeezed Ayas little hand which grabbed his shirt.

"She's still the love of your live, and what am I?" Aya asked and closed his eyes.

"You're my world" Yohji said, he didn't know what he should say to make Aya believe him.

"The love of a live is more worth then the world" Aya said and tried to escape Yohjis hug, now Yohji started to be angry "Why won't you understand" he yelled "you're the one I love the most"

Aya could breathe normally again "Yeah … because she's dead" and escaped, he ran into his own room and hoped that Chika wasn't at home.

"Aya" Yohji yelled "damned" he cursed and went into the shop he needed to work … to think about it.

They didn't notice that Chika watched the whole scenario; it was a stroke of luck for her.

She waited until Yohji was gone before she entered her room "Hey Aya" she said in a happy tone.

Aya whipped a tear away and hoped that Chika didn't see it "Hey I only want one of my books" he lied.

"Don't worry it's your room" she said and smiled before she took her perfume from the table.

"Ok I found it so I will go" Aya said and looked at her, Chika moved closer to him and whispered "I knew you're the one he loves but it looks like you destroyed it"

"I'm only a substitute" Aya answered and tried to get out of the room but Chika bar his way

"He's mine you know … When you're dead he will be mine alone" she gave him an evil grin "I will kill you"

"Then do it" Aya said in a cold tone "you will be a substitute for Asuka like me"

""No I will win his heart and soul ... I won't be a substitute ...HE'S MINE" she yelled furious.


	15. Hate

Yohji worked with the boys at the shop, the girls were persisted like always.

"Yohji .. what's up" Omi asked "you're not flirting or looking at the girls"

"You're right … it was all an act … nothing is ok" Yohji said and watered a potted plant "He thinks he's only a substitute for Asuka"

"And is he?" Ken asked as he filled a pot with fresh and beautiful roses.

Yohji looked at Ken and then he stared at the roses "No I think he's more important as her" he whispered.

"Let's close the shop for today" Omi suggested "It starts raining I don't think we will get costumers"

"It's a good idea" Ken said and kicked the last few girls out of the shop "and now go and fix the mess Yohji before I kick your ass out of the door"

"Why is everything my fault" Yohji asked angry "I was a part of Weiss before he joined us"

"He's fragile and he can't handle his own emotions, from all of us he needs love and warmth the most" Omi answered and glared at Yohji "and you know that" he added.

"Yeah I know" Yohji sighed "I know"

`…mine...`

They heard someone scream and ran upstairs; they followed the voice and arrived at Chikas room.

They opened the door and were shocked; Aya lay on the floor he couldn't breathe and his whole body shook, he stared with wide eyes at the ceiling and waited for the end to come.

"Omi bring me the injection and call the ambulance ... hurry" Yohji screamed and ran to Aya but he didn't know what to do.

"Aya try to breathe …. Please"

Omi came back with the injection and gave it to Yohji "Sorry" he said before he gave his lover the medicament.

Yohji sat on top of Aya and looked into his eyes "Don't stare at the ceiling … don't do that … look only at me" he whispered into Ayas ear.

His lips were blue and his eyes looked glassy and powerless, the only strength Aya felt was Yohjis presence.

"I beg you don't leave me … you're not an substitute …I- I think I love you more then her" Yohji cried "you're my world … my everything"

Ayas body still shook and his breathe was week but to feel Yohjis warmth gave him a pleasant feeling.

Yohji could see a light glitter in Ayas eyes; he knew that he heard him and he felt hope.

"How can I prove that I love you, huh?" Yohji whined "If I only wanted a substitute I had continued my old lifestyle"

The medicament started to affect Ayas body relaxed but his breathe was still weak "Aya fight ... please fight" Yohji whispered, his eyes widened as he felt that Aya stopped to breath.

"NO Aya … breathe … come on breathe" Yohji screamed in shock, he shook Aya but he didn't respond.

"Do you remember our promise …? When you die I will follow you" he gasped he cried so hard that he was breathless.

"Two minutes" Ken said and looked at Ayas lifeless body, Yohji panicked 2 minutes were a long time and the fact that his lover was dead for a bit more than 2 minutes made his heard shatter.

"Aya … wake up, you said that you want that I will live a long and happy life do you remember ….. RAAANNN" Yohji screamed and he put all the feelings he had into the Ran, Ayas eye were still open but empty, Yohji took his wire and made a cut between the half healed cuts from the glass.

The cut wasn't deep even so dripped Yohjis warm blood and his hot tears on Ayas cold and pale cheeks "Like I promised, when you won't wake up I will cut my wrist and follow you It doesn't matter what you're choice will be you can't escape me"

Omi and Ken winced as they heard Yohji call Aya by his real name, they didn't know that Aya was Ran and they were totally shocked as Yohji cut himself.

A few seconds after Yohji called him by his real name and hurt himself out of desperation, he found the strength to breathe again, he wanted to hear what Yohji had to say, he wanted to give him one last chance.

Yohjji sat still on top of Aya and hugged Aya tight, he could feel a weak breath against his cheek "AYA you're alive?! ….I-I …. You…. God" he stuttered and hugged Aya again.

10 minutes later the paramedics arrived "The paramedics are here" Omi said and led them into the room.

They needed a few minutes to get Yohji away from Aya "Yohji come let they do their job" Omi said and pulled Yohji to the bed and helped him to sit down "Yohji get a grip on yourself, he needs you so clear your head"

Aya needed artificial respiration and they gave him an infusion before they lay him onto the stretcher "It's a wonder that he managed to breath on his own this long" one of the paramedics said.

"You know where we will bring him" the other paramedic said and packed up his equipment, he gave Yohji a pitiful look "he's your leader am I right?"

"Yeah" Ken said as he saw that Yohji was still good for nothing "but he's strong …. He's Abyssinian"

The paramedics looked at him with wide eyes; this beautiful and fragile redhead was the great Abyssinian…. Kritikers best assassin.

"Ok we have to go" they said and brought Aya into the ambulance, they were afraid they could disgust Abyssinians team if they stay any longer, Yohji sat on the bed, he wasn't strong enough to drive with them, not now.

Chika stood in a corner of the room and was angry again

_~ Why __didn't you die … damn redhead …_

_Why did you say you want to die with him, huh? You're mine I won't let you die not with him._

_What should I do … Kill the redhead when you're not around or do you and me die together and leave him alone in this world…. ~_

She was lost in thoughts and didn't notice that Yohji moved near her.

"What have you done to him?" Yohji hissed, Ken and Omi were surprised and went to Yohji; they didn't want him to kill Chika.

"I've done nothing" she said in a played hurt tone "I found him like that"

"You're lying" Yohji said in a dangerous tone and glared at her "he smelled like you"

Ken and Omi didn't understand what Yohji meant, he smelled like Chika, where was the problem, it was her room now, but then the realisation hit them …. Chika was Chika …. the poison queen …

"The first time he had an attack like that we met you on the floor and the smell of your perfume was stronger than normal, this time he smelled like your perfume … what did you do? Do you throw your perfume at him? Or did you hug him to kill him without he realise it?" Yohji said in a tone cold as ice and pushed her against the wall "how often have you initiated attacks?"

"Often" She said and grinned "but he survived all the attacks it's frustrating"

Yohji was so angry he hit her, her lip was bruised and bled but she still grinned "He knew that he will die but he didn't resist" she said in a mocking tone "he said I can do it"

Yohji hit her again, this time she felt dizzy for one moment "It isn't my fault when he wants to die but in the end he fights for his life I can't understand it" she said frustrated and licked her lip.

"It's love" Yohji hissed "It's the might of love" Chika looked at him and laughed "I love you too and I would do everything to get you but he must be more obsessed with you as I am"

"What do you mean" Omi yelled angry, Ken grabbed his arm because it looked like Omi was ready to scratch out her eyes.

"He went through all the physical and emotional pain for you and for what?

You're always angry at him… you hurt him… and you don't take care of him" she said and smiled "I love the sight of him, when his eyes are filled with pain and when he tries to hide his physical pain …. And no one can see … or no one wants to see"

"Shut up" Yohji yelled "I will kill you when you don't stop"

"When did you make the promise to die together?" she yelled and looked at him as if she wants to kill him.

"After he got shot" Yohji said and his eyes widened he got an idea he didn't like "was it you? Was it your work that he shot at Aya … it was a trap?"

"I paid a lot of money and he failed … it was annoying" she said and pulled one of her needles out of her pocket "I won't give up" she added and thrust the needle into Yohjis arm.

She ran out of the house while Ken and Omi took care of Yohji, but he had luck she didn't want to kill him it was only something that made him sleep.

"Ken help me to get him into the car … we should drive to Aya" Omi said serious and pulled Yohji up.

The poison wasn't strong Yohji woke up before they arrived the hospital "What happened" he whispered and rubbed his eyes.

"She gave you something to make you sleep" Ken said "she escaped" Omi added.

"Damned she will try to kill him again" Yohji said a bit muzzy from the poison.

"We are on the way to the hospital, we called the doc and she said they will take care of him so try to calm down"

"I won't calm down before I'm by his side" Yohji sighed and closed his eyes.

"Hey doc" Yohji said in a polite tone "how is he?"

"I said you should take care of him" she said frustrated "he's ok …. He can breath on his own again and his fever gone down … it was appalling high"

"He had a fever?" Yohji asked surprised he hadn't noticed that Aya ran a fever, at least not that high.

"The attack made his fever worse … that damn girl no wonder he didn't get back on his feet" she cursed "the poison hadn't affected only his respiratory tract but also it slow down the healing process of the wounds. I don't like it but she's really good, it was definitely her perfume which caused all this, we found traces of it in his and your blood"

"But why aren't we sick too?" Yohji asked confused "we inhaled it too"

"You're healthy, it wasn't strong enough to harm you but Aya in his condition was an easy victim but the poison she used this time could kill everyone, it's good that you guys came to late if you had inhaled it as it had his full power…. I would have four half dead assassins now" she explained in a soft and worried tone.

"We will kill her" Omi said angry, no one will survive an attempt on the live of his family.

"I know" the doc said and smiled "Yohji you can visit him now … Omi I think you should search for her"

"I think you're right" he answered and nodded at her, he knew it was important to find her and that Yohji needed time with Aya "Yohji we will call you when we found her"

"Ok … bye" Yohji said and went into Ayas room, the room was dark and cold but Yohji could feel the warmth of Ayas presence.

He opened the curtains a bit and sat down on Ayas bed "You tried to commit suicide again?" he whispered and strokes a strand out of Ayas pale face.

Aya opened his eyes slowly "Yohji?" he said sleepy and Yohji wasn't sure if Aya was really awake.

"Yeah I'm here" he said and caress Ayas chest "you made me worry … I thought you will break the promise"

"You said you would kill yourself if I die right?" Aya asked, he still stand beside himself because of the sedatives.

"I don't want to live without you please finally believe me" Yohji said hurt and closed his eyes to hold his tears back.

"So I'm really not a substitute for her?" Aya asked vulnerable like a little kid

"No you're not a substitute, now I know that I love you more than I ever loved her" he said and bent forward to lay his head down on Ayas chest, he wanted to feel him, to feel his heartbeat.

Aya put his hand on Yohjis head and stroke through his beautiful blond hair "I think I will believe you" he whispered "does the cut hurt?"

"You saw it? I didn't think you will notice it" Yohji said in a soft and tired tone.

"It was like I watched it from far away but I could see it … and I felt your warm blood and tears drip on my face"

"From now on tell me what you feel … when you don't want to talk I will getting on your nerves until you will tell me everything" Yohji said and grinned but he couldn't hold his tears back anymore.

"Why do you cry?" Aya said worried and put one hand on Yohjis back while he stroke Yohjis head with the other one.

"You died for almost 3 minutes" he sobbed "I felt how my heart shattered into pieces the sight of your dead eyes is what I feared the most all the time and finally it came true"

"I'm sorry … I'm sorry" Aya whispered "I'm so sorry"

"Don't say that! It was my fault I don't think before I speak and that's cruel of me … **I'm sorry" **Yohji said and grabbed Ayas shirt, he could smell Ayas sweet scent and not Chikas abnormal scent "I will wait until you can tell me how you feel but by then I will take care of you and this time I won't fail"

"Everything I need is your love" Aya said sleepy and fell asleep before Yohji could answer.

"I will protect you from her, from me and from the world" he whispered before he fell asleep on Ayas warm chest.


	16. Marry me

I got the idea with the rings from the Manga Kuchibiru ni Amai Doku by Mieko Koide, so their not mine *sigh* but they fit perfectly to them

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"Hey Yohji" a soft hand shook him gently as Yohji opened his eyes he could see Omis smiling face.

"`Morning" he said sleepy and stood up, his back hurt and he hoped he didn't hurt Aya as he slept on his lovers chest but it looked like Aya was fine.

"We can't find her" Omi sight "but we will continue the search"

"I want to kill her … **now**" Yohji bitched and felt a cold hand touch his own "Aya … sorry I didn't want to wake you up"

"It's ok … you will get the chance but I'm afraid she could try to kill you, when she can't get you ….." Aya said and Omi could see fear in Ayas eyes.

"Don't worry Aya I will take care of us … we're Weiss …we're a strong and strange family" Yohji chuckled and Omi nodded with a big grin on his face.

"Yeah **that** makes me afraid" Aya chuckled but shortly after he fell asleep.

"Omi, can you take care of him for a while?" Yohji asked serious "I have something to do"

"Ok but you can't go without Ken, he waits in front of the hospital" Omi said and sat down on a chair.

Yohji was out for 2 hours before he returned "thank you Omi I will take care of him again"

"What was so important that you left his side?" Omi asked noisy and tried to read Yohjis mind.

"I made a decision and got something to prove it" Yohji answered and grinned like stupid.

"I have to go … bye" Omi sighed and left the room he knew he won't get an answer.

"You look tired" Yohji said and held Ayas little hand "go back to sleep"

"I don't want to … I want to spend my time with you" Aya said shy and looked away from him.

"I will ask the doc when I can take you home, ok? … I'm back in a few minutes" Yohji said carefully and left the room.

"Strange … I feel better now" Aya muttered to himself "I think I can really trust him and I swear I won't hurt him again it wasn't fair of me"

Aya closed his eyes and felt lonely again, Yohji was gone for 10 minutes but Aya had a bad feeling so he stood up and staggered out of the room, he needed the wall as support before he could continue his search.

"Aya" Yohji yelled worried "what do you do?"

"I was lonely" he whispered tired "and I had a bad feeling"

"I bring you back to your room" Yohji ordered but gave him a soft smile; he lifted Aya up and carried him back to bed.

"You can't wander around the hospital you will be an easy target" Yohji sighed and covered Aya up.

"I had the feeling you're in danger" Aya whispered "I think she's here"

"It can't be Kritiker observed the hospital" Yohji tried to console him but he could understand Ayas worry, Kritiker wasn't loyal and faithful.

"She's here" Aya repeated and looked at Yohji with sleepy eyes.

"I know" Yohji said finally "but she can't hurt you here and should she try it I will protect you from her"

"I know you will…." Aya answered "when can I go home?"

"In four days, she said when I make sure you will rest I can take you home in four days" Yohji said and caress Ayas chest.

"Good I have your birthday present at home … I can tell you were I hide it" Aya said in a sad tone "Sorry that I can't give it to you today"

"Birthday?" Yohji asked confused, he totally forgot that it was his birthday "it's today?"

Aya chuckled "How can you forget something like that?"

"You're more important then my birthday and you can give it to me when we're back at home" Yohji answered and gave him a big and gentle smile.

"Happy birthday Yohji!" Aya said and sat up to kiss him; he hugged him tight and put all his love into the kiss.

Yohji hugged Aya back, he put an arm around Ayas back and with the other hand he pulled Ayas head closer to him so that he can't escape him.

"Sorry but I want to feel your warmth, I can't believe that you're still alive" Yohji said in a soft tone "and don't worry … you're the best birthday present I ever got" he said and hugged him tighter.

Aya closed his eyes and snuggled deep into Yohjis warm embrace, he felt Yohjis love for him, it was the first time he could really feel what he searched for so long.

For the next four days Yohji hadn't left Ayas side, he slept on the chair next to his bed or watched Ayas sleeping face.

Aya was happy that Yohji was by his side, they could talk and he knew that he could keep an eye on him. He didn't need to worry that Chika could hurt him and everyday the boys came for an hour to visit him.

"Welcome home Aya" Ken said friendly and smiled at him "I hope you're hungry Omi made a lot to eat"

"Believe me we are hungry the food at the hospital is ….." Yohji said and made a grimace.

"Hahaa I know what you mean" Ken answered "come Omi is waiting like a mother hen"

Aya chuckled and followed them into the kitchen, as Omi saw him he almost jumped into Ayas arms he was incredible happy to have his family home again.

"Sit down I will serve the food …. And we cleaned and disinfected your room, it doesn't matter which kind of poison she had we killed everything" Omi said happy and swarmed through the kitchen.

"Nice to be home" Aya said and everyone looked at him as if he told them his last will "what?" he asked confused.

"Nothing we only were surprised that's all" Ken said and grinned ashamed.

"I mean it … and no I won't do something stupid after I said it" Aya explained and gave them a shy smile.

"Good … then let's eat" Yohji said cheerful and squeezed Ayas hand as if he wanted to say `don't lie again`.

"Don't worry" Aya whispered in a low voice therewith only Yohji could hear him.

They spent 2 hours with the kids and ate a big birthday cake before they decided to go to bed; Aya stopped in front of his room and opened the door.

"Now you don't want to sleep by my side anymore, huh?" Yohji said in a sad tone and went to his own room; he hoped Aya would stay by his side for a few more nights.

He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes as he heard that someone opened his door, Yohji jumped out of the bed and took the person into a stranglehold, he was surprised as he heard the person chuckle.

"Aya!" Yohji said and loosed his grab "I'm sorry I thought …" he stuttered and switched on the light.

"Don't worry" Aya said and smiled "you're good as ever" he added respectful.

"What do you want? Did you forget something?" Yohji asked and watched Aya.

"I hadn't the intension to sleep in my room tonight" Aya said shy and reached Yohji a little present "I hid the present in my room I only wanted to get it"

"Oh" Yohji answered surprised "thank you" he took the little box and opened it, his eyes widened.

It was a solid and beautiful silver cross embraced by wires and roses "It's beautiful" he said and kissed Aya.

"I have something for you too" Yohji said nervous and blushed like hell "for me?" Aya asked surprised.

"Yeah I ... uhm …" he put a little box out of his pocket and sunk down on his knees "Aya I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I will stay by your side forever! I will follow you even till death ….. So do you want to marry me" Yohji said nervous and opened the little box before he looked up to Aya again.

Aya looked shocked at Yohji, he hadn't realised that Yohji really made a proposal of marriage, but finally got a grip on himself.

Yohji meanwhile thought that Aya will reject his proposal, he was sad and wanted to close the box, when he finally saw what he wanted to see …. Aya beamed with joy.

"Y-Yes I want" Aya said and he flung his hands around Yohjis neck, he weep for joy.

"Rea-lly?" Yohji stuttered, he was so happy and all his worries disappeared for a moment.

"Yeah" Aya sobbed and loose his hug to look at Yohjis beautiful happy face.

Yohji grabbed Ayas hand and put the engagement ring on his slim and pale finger "There's the half of a cross on your ring and on my ring is the other half …. When we put them together the cross will be complete" Yohji said proud "look at the gravure on the cross"

"Destiny" Aya read loud and looked at Yohji "you're my destiny … my world … my love" Yohji said and smiled at him.

"Do you have a gravure too?" Aya asked and gave Yohji a shy smile.

"Eternity" Yohji said and took Ayas hand in is own "I won't leave you, I will give you my warmth, my love, my life … I choose the gravure to remind us what we mean to each other"

Aya was incredible happy, he knew Yohji thought about it a long time and that made him cry.

"Why are you crying, when you don't like it I will change it" Yohji said confused but Aya shook his head "no I love it … you make me happy … I'm overwhelmed with joy"

"I deliberated how I could ask you … I was worried that you think it's too early and now I found the strength to ask you, I forgot what I planned to tell you"

"I love you for years it isn't too early" Aya said gentle "Yohji please don't be disappointed that I spoil the mood but can we sit down?"

"Oh sorry … I forgot that you're sick … "Yohji embarrassed "did I hurt you?"

"It's ok … don't worry I forgot that I'm sick myself" Aya said and sat down on the bed, he felt dizzy and was tired but he was too happy to go to bed.

"You should sleep" Yohji said and sat down next to Aya "We can talk tomorrow"

"I don't want to sleep, you made a beautiful proposal and everything I do is sleep?" Aya said a bit frustrated.

"I don't want to do anything while you're sick" Yohji said soft, he knew what Aya meant and for the first time of his life he didn't want to "What if you can't breath because you …( hem)"

Aya started to laugh, Yohjis embarrassed face was to adorable "but don't complain I'm a sexless wonder again"

Yohji smiled and closed his eyes for a moment to listen to Ayas beautiful laugh, he missed the sound and he wanted to enjoy it for a while.

"Aya?" Yohji said and opened his eyes "can you do me a favour?"

"I will do everything for you" Aya answered and the tone in Yohjis voice made him worry.

"Laugh more often" Yohji requested "I love the sound of your laugh" he added and blushed.

"Of course, when you like it … but I will laugh only for you" Aya said, he was relieved that it wasn't something serious.

"Yeah … only for me" Yohji said and smiled at him "and now let's sleep, my wife"

"Hey why am I the wife" Aya asked in a pretended shocked tone before he grinned at Yohji

"You're the beautiful and delicate one" Yohji said "and I can't stand the though to be a girl … me in a dress?!"

Aya punched Yohjis shoulder gently and gave him a soft chuckle "I won't wear a dress either"

"Ohh, no chance?" Yohji said in a mocking tone and gave Aya one of his stupid grins; he pushed Aya down and pulled him into his arm "when you're healthy again we will play the whole night ok?"

"You know after a marriage it's over with the fun" Aya looked at Yohji and tried to look serious but Yohjis face was so dumbfounded, Aya couldn't stop laughing "don't worry we will have a lot of fun together"

"For one moment I thought you meant what you said" Yohji laughed relieved and kissed Ayas forehead.

"Do you know what?" Aya asked innocent and snuggled against Yohjis warm body, Yohji only looked at him and waited "I don't want to wait" Aya whispered into Yohjis ear.

"What?" Yohji said worried "but you're weak and I don't want to risk an attack"

"I won't get a dangerous attack" Aya said and kissed Yohji with passion and put one hand under Yohjis shirt to caress his soft skin.

"Aya stop it" Yohji said serious and pushed Aya away and pinned him down on the bed, he looked deep into Ayas eyes "I said the next time will be my treat" he grinned.

"You don't have to …hmm" Aya tried to answer back but Yohji pressed his lips on Ayas to shut him up.

They parted only to breathe, Yohji kissed Ayas neck and caress it with his tongue up to his earlobe and back to the collarbone.

Ayas body shivered as he felt his tongue and hot breath against his skin, he missed him so much and he swore he won't let him go.

Yohji put off Ayas shirt carefully and bit and licked Ayas nipples; with his hands he caress Ayas hot skin gently, he could feel Ayas -------against his own body.

Aya felt hot and he stroke with one hand trough Yohjis soft blond hair "Could you hurry….please" Aya gasped. Yohji looked at Aya and wandered down his belly before he put off Ayas trouser; he took Ayas ------------------- his mouth and caress it with his tongue before he moved back and forth.

"ahhh" Aya moaned with pleasure, they hadn't done it for a while so Aya was more sensitive than normal, he rocked his hips gently in Yohjis rhythm.

Yohji felt his own ----------------- against his jeans, it started to hurt but he didn't want to do something like that to Aya he was to weak.

"Don't … torture yourself" Aya gasped and gave Yohji a soft smile; he knew Yohji good enough to know that he was in pain "you can do it…don't wo-rry"

"Is it really all right" he asked with lust filled eyes "I want it too" Aya said and knew Yohji wouldn't say no.

He smiled at Aya and massaged his ---------------------------------; Aya moaned lustful "Yoh-ji … please" Aya panted.

"What do you want… tell me" Yohji asked and opened his jeans and pulled his ---------------------

Aya watched him and blushed "I want you … ------ me" he said and reached for Yohji.

Yohji bent forward to give Aya a deep kiss "I love you" he whispered and felt Ayas body shiver "I put it in"

Carefully he entered Aya and ------------------- into his lovers body, Aya clung to the sheets as he felt Yohjis hard and ------------------------ him.

Yohji pulled Aya up into an upright position so that Aya sat on Yohjis lap "It's better for your wounds" he whispered and hugged his sweet redhead.

"Now I will move" Yohji whispered and looked into Ayas beautiful violet eyes before he ---------------------- him. "hnn" Aya moaned as Yohji found the right spot, his whole body felt like it would burn.

Aya kissed Yohji "Love you" he whispered into Yohjis ear and he could smell Yohjis unique scent, it smelled like aftershave, tobacco and flowers.

They were covered in sweat as and both knew they can't hold back anymore "Aya I'm going to…" Yohji gasped and watched the pale body in front of him.

"It's ok" Aya answered and smiled at Yohji, he notice that he watched him and the gaze of Yohjis emerald eyes turned him on.

Yohji ----------------------------------- into his lover and he thought he will pass out as he released --------------------------- the redhead.

As Aya felt Yohjis body tense and the hot liquid inside of him he got one of the best +firework+ he ever had.

Their hot and wet bodies clung to each other and they could feel each others breath against their sensitive skin.

"Let us stay in that position longer" Aya panted and rested his head on Yohjis shoulder "I love you … I think I don't tell it often enough"

"I know your love for me you don't need it to say everyday" Yohji said and caress his back.

"but I think I want to" Aya said with a smile on his face and stroke trough Yohjis hair.

"I think I should tell it more often too" Yohji said "and now we should take a shower"

"You're right" Aya said and got up, he staggered out of the bed and needed Yohjis support "I think I overestimate my strength" he said and felt dizzy.

"I will help you" Yohji said gentle and helped Aya into the bath; he washed him carefully and enjoyed the sight of the water which ran down Ayas pale body.

He sat Aya down at the corner of the shower and washed himself; Aya watched Yohji and was sure he never felt this happy in his whole life.

"Yohji?" Aya said in a low tone "Hmm?" Yohji answered and looked at him.

"I only want you to know that I was never that happy before" he said and caresses his ring carefully.

"I feel the same way" Yohji said and smiled "I was never that happy with her … ok when I say I wasn't incredible happy it would be a lie but with you it's different … the feeling is different"

"What do you mean?" Aya asked, he decided to ask before they will misunderstand each other.

"She was a beautiful woman and I loved her but she wasn't a soul mate.

The feeling with you is pure, I feel warm and secure when you're with me, I know that you won't betray me and I know that you won't leave me for someone else" Yohji explained while he watched Aya, he was worried Aya could misunderstand what he wanted to tell.

"You mean I'm not that pretty but good for a talk" Aya said sleepy and leant with his shoulder against the wall.

"I don't mean it like that" Yohji said and gave him a soft smile "You're prettier then her and you're a soul mate …. You're my one and only…" he said and kneeled in front of Aya.

"I hoped you mean it like that" Aya whispered and had a light smile on his lips.

"Aya stay awake a little bit longer" Yohji said and helped Aya out of the bath; he towelled Aya carefully before he treated his wounds.

"Don't forget your own wounds" Aya said in a low tone and could feel Yohjis warm hand on his collarbone.

"Don't worry I will treat it but at first I bring you to bed" he answered and escorted Aya back to bed "I will be back in a few minutes" he whispered and went back to the bath room to treat his cuts.

"Hey Yohji" Ken whispered as Yohji stood on the floor "what did he say"

Yohji looked at Ken and smiled "He said yes"

Ken beamed and gave Yohji a little hug "the hug …it never happened" he whispered and went back into Omis room.

Yohji knew Omi sent Ken to ask if Aya said `yes`or not, he could imagine how Omi lay on the bed and turned from one side to the other because he was so nosy.

After he treated his cuts he went back to Aya, he didn't like it to leave him alone.

Yohji lay next to Aya and watched him for a while before he fell asleep, he was pale and his breath sound soft but it was no reason to worry.

Yohji woke up as he heard a groan by his side, he opened his eyes and saw Aya shiver and bathed in cold sweat "Aya wake up" he said gently and shook him.

"Noo … (sob)" Aya mumbled and struggled against Yohjis touches "don't go" he panted.

"Ran wake up … wake up it's only a nightmare" Yohji whispered into Ayas ear and caress his chest. He could feel the fast and heavy beat of Ayas heart.

Aya opened slowly his eyes and looked with tear filled eyes at him; suddenly he sat up like a flash and hugged Yohji his hands still shook.

"Ran it's all right it was only a dream" he tried to console him and hugged him tight.

"I dreamt she killed…" Aya sobbed and clung to Yohji "I saw you die"

"Shh it was only a dream … I promise nothing will happen" Yohji said serious and closed his eyes to inhale Ayas sweet scent; it was strange Yohji thought when he's afraid his scent is sweeter then normal.

"You can't promise something like that" Aya complained and wiped a tear away.

"We will stay together …. We will stay together" Yohji said and Aya never saw him with a serious face like that.

"You're really serious … (sob) ... I believe in you" Aya said and gave him a distressed smile before he looses his hug completely.

"Let's sleep Aya" Yohji said and they snuggled up to each other "don't forget we are a family … you and me and the kids" he said and kissed Ayas forehead.

"Yeah …the kids, they're scary … I think we're really safe as long as they're with us" Aya chuckled and closed his eyes, Yohji stroke through Ayas hair until he fell asleep.


	17. Insecure

"Aya wake up it's midday already" Yohji said in a soft tone before he stood up.

"Can I work the afternoon shift" Aya asked sleepy and slipped out of the bed "I need something to do and I have a guilty conscience about letting the kids work alone all the shifts"

"Didn't you say you're the leader and you make the decision" Yohji said in a mocking tone and grinned at Aya.

"I can't win against you even I'm the leader" Aya said a bit frustrated but Yohji knew Aya wasn't angry at him.

"Only when we work together" Yohji said and helped Aya to put on his shirt "Omi and Ken will be happy"

"Yeah they hadn't a day of the last few weeks … ok they closed the shop as the girls bugged them but I will ignore the fact" Aya said and grinned, he understood why his boys did that.

"You know that?" Yohji asked shocked, the most time Aya was in bed how could he know that.

"I know you guys I don't need to be there in order to know what you will do" Aya laughed and gave Yohji a soft kiss.

"Aya … you're scary" Yohji laughed and made his bed, he knew Aya hated a messy room.

"I will go to the shop" Aya said and turned around to leave the room but Yohji was faster

"Oh no … at first you will eat and then you can work"

"I'm not hungry" Aya complained and looked at him "You need to eat" Yohji said strict; he took Ayas hand and led him into the kitchen "What do you want?"

"Toast is enough" Aya said and sat down on a chair near the window "it's a nice day" he added.

"Yeah, when we killed Chika I will show you the park with all the Sakura trees" Yohji said and smiled at him before he took the toast out of the kitchen cabinet.

"I look forward to it" Aya answered but he had the feeling that he won't see it.

"Don't worry Aya" Yohji said; he knew what Aya was thinking and he wanted to cheer him up.

"Never forget you're my destiny" Yohji said and pointed at the ring on Ayas finger "we will walk through the park or we will watch it from heaven … in any case we will see it together" he said and reached Aya his toast "so don't worry"

"Let us fight for option one" Aya said and touched Yohjis hand which still held the plate.

"That's a good choice" he answered and gave Aya a gentle smile "and now eat … or else I won't let you work"

"Slave driver" Aya chuckled "hey I learned from the master" Yohji replied and sat down on a chair next to the redhead.

"Hey boys change of shifts" Yohji said cheerful but the boys looked at him like he was stupid

"You want to work?" Ken asked suspicious and looked irritated; Yohji and work?

"Ahh you should know me better" Yohji laughed "Aya wants to work so I will work too"

"Don't frighten us like that we thought now you're definitely …. Cuckoo" Ken said and Omi nodded with a meaningful big grin on his face.

"Come on sometimes I do work" Yohji said innocent "and now make you a nice day"

"Ok ok … but where is Aya?" Omi asked and looked around.

"I'm here" Aya said and appeared at the shop "no costumers?" he asked surprised.

"No but I think the school girls will come soon" Omi said and hugged Aya "Congratulation!" he whispered before he loose the hug and went with Ken out of the shop.

"They know?" Aya asked and gave Yohji an embraced look "Ken kept an eye on me all the time so I couldn't buy the rings without him" Yohji answered and shrug his shoulders.

"Maybe they're the next" Aya said and raised an eyebrow; he went to water the plants "just fancy, how a marriage proposal from Ken or Omi would look like…"

Yohji had a lot of ideas on his mind; Ken kneeled in front of Omi and stuttered without to get a correct sentence out or Omi who asked Ken via E-mail because he can't face him.

"That's a strange idea" Yohji said with an irritated look on his face and they started to laugh.

`Kyaaa … Aya … Yohji` the girls stormed the shop and they clung at our boys like they saw them for the first time.

They wanted to know why they didn't work the last few weeks and why Aya looked so pale, after they explained that Aya had the flu and passed it on Yohji the girls were satisfied, they were too fascinated of the boys that they didn't try to get the bottom of the story.

"Yohji go out with me" one of the girls asked "you're still underage" he answered and gave her the bouquet she ordered.

"Next year I will be old enough" another girl said proud but without success "sorry no chance" he refused.

Aya was happy he never saw Yohji like that, he didn't flirt or even looked at them like he always did.

But he wasn't sure if Yohji is happy too. He always flirted around and had fun to be a heartthrob.

"Hey sweetheart can you make me a bouquet?" a sexy woman asked, she had long brown hair and a slender body.

Yohji watched them and felt jealous, now he knew how Aya must feel all the time but he decided to watch them a bit longer before he interfered. Of course he was jealous before but the girls never hit on Aya at his own home, at least not that extreme.

"You're talented" she said and gave him a sexy smile but Aya wasn't interested "do you want to go out with me" she added and tried to touch Ayas hand but before she could touch him Yohji grabbed her hand "can't you see that he's not interested?" he asked and gave her cheerful smile; he tried to hide the fact that he could explode out of jealousy.

"Ohh what a shame" she said in a mocking tone "but he looks like a single so why won't he go out with me?"

"He's married" slipped out of Yohjis mouth; he could kick himself for saying that out loud.

"Really?" she said in an incredulous tone "and where is his ring?"

Yohji looked at Ayas hand but the ring wasn't there, he felt sad and betrayed but he hoped Aya had a good explanation.

"**I am** married" Aya interfered "and I won't go out with you …. Here, the flowers" Aya said harsh and reached her the flowers in a cool way.

She was angry and stomped out of the shop, the girls at the shop where surprised but they didn't hear the marriage discussion.

"You're jealous" Aya said and looked at Yohji "but I didn't need you're help with her"

"Sorry" Yohji said and went back to the girls; one girl needed flowers for her mother's birthday but the other girls only wanted flowers because of them.

"We will close in ten minutes" Yohji said friendly and looked at Aya, he was pale and his hands shook barely visible.

"Girls out of the shop" Yohji yelled, the girls were shocked, they didn't know this side of him.

"Aya you can go … I will close and clean the shop" Yohji said in a gentle tone but Aya shook his head "I will help you" he said.

"You're not feeling well" Yohji answered and touched Ayas forehead; he had a fever and looked terrible.

"It's ok, I can …" Aya said but Yohji pushed him down on a chair before he could finish his sentence "It's not ok" he said and started to clean the shop.

"You're angry" Aya detected and gave Yohji a sad look "what did I do?"

"I'm not angry" Yohji said but Aya knew it was a lie "It's only…"

"It's what?" Aya asked in a soft tone.

"Where's your ring" he said but didn't look at the redhead "you don't want it?"

Aya stood up and went to Yohji "Yohji look at me" he ordered "I said look at me"

Yohji turned around and faced his lover, Aya pulled out the necklace he wore and showed it to Yohji "Here is the ring, I hid it under my shirt, you don't like the thought of being gay so I thought I won't wear the ring at my finger while we work at the shop, the girls could see it and I don't want you to be sad" he explained.

Yohji looked at the ring and was relieved; he was so worried that Aya could regret his choice.

"I'm sorry" Yohji said and gave Aya a shy smile "I was worried you could regret your choice"

"Never" Aya said serious and caress Yohjis cheek gently "don't worry"

Yohji smiled at him, he knew he didn't need to worry but sometimes his mind was as strong as his heart and that confused him but it was a normal reaction assassin or not, he was still human.

"Sorry sometimes I'm insecure" Yohji said and looked deep into Ayas eyes "I really don't need to worry" he whispered with an embraced smile, he could see in Ayas eyes that he was serious.

"You don't need to be insecure, no one will ever know our secret and I won't leave you" Aya explained before he went back to the chair to sit down.

"You're not feeling well?" Yohji asked worried but he was relieved about Ayas last sentence, now he felt better, he knew that Aya can live with their secret relationship and he believed him that he won't leave him.

"I feel dizzy and my stomach hurt a bit" Aya said and leaned back.

"I bring you into your room" Yohji said and went to Aya to help him "You don't need to" Aya said in a soft tone.

"You need sleep" Yohji said in a strict tone, Aya gave Yohji a warm smile "I keep you company and then I will go to bed"

"Then I will work fast" Yohji said and started to clean the shop in high speed, he almost slipped on a little puddle of water, he could hear Ayas carefree chuckle.

"I feel better so take your time before you will get a fracture" Aya said with an amused look on his face.

"It's a good advice but I finished my work already" Yohji answered with a big grin on his face.

"What a shame it was interesting to see you **work**" he laughed quietly and stood up.

"I think you're right" Yohji said and followed Aya to support him if he needs help "do you need something before I will bring you to bed" Yohji added after a while in a mocking tone and gave Aya a bold grin.

"When I'm fit again I will punish you for that" Aya said and grinned, Yohji knew how Aya meant it "I'm looking forward to this" he said with a lewd smile.

"Can I sleep in your room?" Aya asked a bit shy; they were a couple but sometimes Aya felt embraced by questions like that.

"Sure, you don't need to ask" Yohji said irritated and put and arm gently around Ayas waist "my room is your room"

Aya blushed and grinned happily "a perfect dream" he whispered to himself, Yohji tightened his grip around Ayas waist to agree with him.

"And now rest" Yohji said as he covered Aya up, he didn't need to do it but it grow into a habit and he liked it.

"I know, I know" Aya sighed ashamed "and now leave before I melt because I'm ashamed of being so weak"

"I still adore you, It doesn't matter if your weak or healthy you're my number one. You're strong, proud and we can always depend on you" Yohji said confident and kissed Ayas forehead, his skin was warm and Yohji knew the fever must be pretty high.

"I'm relieved that you didn't lose your image of me" Aya said with narrowed eyes.

"Aya … " Yohji said worried and kneeled next to the bed, he put an hand on Ayas burning forehead.

"My rib hurts … I think it hurts because of the fever so don't worry" Aya winced and shifted to the side to find a more comfortable position.

"Here take the painkiller" Yohji said and reached him the medicament and a bottle of water.

Aya looked surprised as Yohji reached it out of nowhere "Since you're second last attack I have a bottle of water and medicaments at the drawer next to the bed" Yohji explained as he saw Ayas confused face.

"It's nice to be loved" Aya whispered and looked sleepy at Yohji with a happy face.

"Yeah … it's nice" Yohji answered in a loving tone and caress Ayas sweaty forehead "and now sleep"

Aya nodded weak and fell asleep, Yohji watched Ayas sleeping form and smiled gently.

_~ I can't believe we're married, that makes me so happy, now you're mine….._

_I hope you will get back on you're feet soon, your condition makes me worry and it hurt to see you suffer like this._

_You're always so strong and powerful but now you're fragile and labile …._

_It's not right to think that but I'm a little bit happy about the fact that you need me._

_I will protect and care for you forever! ~_


	18. Family

"Sorry for disturbing you guys but I want something to eat" Yohji said with a grin as he entered the kitchen. He caught them as they…smooched.

"ah ...uhm… (hem)" Omi stuttered embarrassed and ran to the fridge "wh-what do you want?" he added.

"I can prepare my food by my self" Yohji said in a hurt tone and sat down on a chair.

"You can cook?" Ken asked suspicious "I can when I want …. Aya taught me how to cook" Yohji answered and closed his eyes.

"Yohji, you're ok?" Omi asked worried while he swarmed through the kitchen.

"I'm tiered that's all" Yohji answered and yawned "I hope you had fun today …. For the next weeks you will work alone again"

"What? Why? ... I have enough" Ken wailed in a fretful tone but he got a glare that made him regret what he had said.

"He runs a high fever only because he had a guilty conscience about letting you guys work for weeks" he said and stood up "don't close the shop earlier anymore … Aya ignored it all the time but from now on I won't" he added in a dangerous tone, he was tired, worried and hungry but Ken had nothing better to do as to bitch around.

"Y-Yohji your dinner" Omi said in a sheepish tone and watched him.

"I'm not hungry anymore" he said angry "Aya go back to bed I will bring you tea and I will order the soup you like so much" he added in a soft tone after he saw Aya leaning against the wall, he looked pale and weak.

Ken and Omi looked shocked to the door; they hadn't noticed that Aya entered the room.

"Why aren't you in bed, huh?" Yohji gently and caress Ayas hot cheek "god, you're burning"

"It's ok, I felt alone … but it was a failure to come down here …. Am I really a weakling?" Aya said in a painful sad tone, his eyes were glassy and the wall was the only thing that held him upright.

"The painkiller makes you always so talkative" Yohji sighed while he took him into his arms.

"Come with me into the living room, Omi bought the movie we wanted to see"

Aya nodded weak; Yohji knew Aya wasn't able to watch the movie but it was for a change.

"I can walk on my own" Aya said in a grizzled tone but Yohji put an arm around his waist to support him "how often must I tell you that I know you … you can't walk on your own"

Aya chuckled while Yohji led him into the living room.

"Ken … you scored an own goal" Omi said and rolled his eyes.

"I didn't mean it that way … not really" Ken tried to defend himself "I will say sorry soon" he sighed and sat down on a chair.

"Aya isn't a weakling but this time it was to much for him … he got shot two times, Chika poisoned him and someone broke his rib … and everything hadn't the time to heal" Omi said tiered "we hadn't survived the tortures"

"I know … I'm only frustrated … we can't do what we want, we have to work more and we can't let them out of sight" Ken explained.

"We keep an eye on you …always … so tell me why can't you protect us this time" Yohji said in a sad tone, he leant against the doorframe.

"It's not that we don't want to but it's hard for us to wait, will she come back, when she will come …" Omi said to safe the situation.

"Aya thinks much of you boys … Is he wrong?" Yohji asked and went to the fridge to take a bottle of orange juice out of it; Yohji was sure Aya couldn't see water and tea anymore.

"It gets on our nerves" Ken confessed "we spend too much time together here … always worrying, always waiting" he sighed.

"I know what you mean but we must hold together, when everything will be over Aya and I will make a trip and you guys can do what ever you want" Yohji scolded the boys.

"A trip? …. where are you going to?" Omi asked interested, for a moment he forgot the conflict.

"We will see Sakura trees" he answered and went back to Aya, the boys didn't understand what he meant; a trip only for a few trees?

"Let us watch the movie with them" Omi suggested and took a tray with sandwiches and chips.

"Yeah" Ken agreed and took a bottle cola and a pack beer out of the fridge before he followed Omi into the living room.

"May we join you?" Omi asked cautiously, Yohji gave them an `I'm sorry too` smile.

Yohji sat on the left side of the sofa and caress Ayas arm; Aya lay on the side and his head rested at Yohjis lap, his eyes were closed and he enjoyed Yohjis gentle touch.

"He looks so peaceful" Omi whispered and smiled while he watched Ayas sleeping face.

"Yeah, I think he feels good" Yohji said and watched Aya; he knew Aya felt better, not physically but mentally and to know that his beloved redhead felt good made him feel better.

"I never thought he will need us one day" Ken said and stared at Aya "but it makes him more human"

"Like Omi said he's the one who needs love the most" Yohji said gently and wiped a strand out of Ayas face.

Aya could hear them talk about him and felt relieved, he didn't feel alone anymore and he knew that they like him even though he was cold and unsocial.

"Let's watch the movie before it will be awkward" Yohji chuckled and pressed the play button, he hadn't start the movie earlier because he needed time to find a comfortable position for Aya.

They sat together for over two hours and for the first time for weeks they had a lot of fun, but Aya didn't notice it the fever and the painkiller shot him out of the real world.

"Do you want to watch another movie" Omi asked and went to the DVD player to change the DVD.

"Yeah nice idea" Yohji said and made a happy face "sorry Aya I'm back in a minute" he added in a soft tone before he put Ayas head down on the sofa and stood up very carefully.

"Boys take care of him for a minute" Yohji ordered friendly before he went to the toilette.

Aya felt that Yohjis warmth disappeared and his sleep was uneasy "Ken what's with him?" Omi asked worried "maybe he feels Yohjis absence" he answered and went to Aya.

"Aya calm down" Ken said and didn't know what to do "he will come back, don't worry"

"Aya" Omi said in a sad tone and touched Ayas shoulder, he could feel Ayas hot skin trough the shirt "his fever is still pretty high"

"I get Yohji" Ken said and ran out of the living room; he heard a noise and knew Yohji was at the kitchen.

"Yohji" Ken said worried "he needs you" he added but was surprised as Yohji took a bottle of juice out of the fridge before he went back to Aya.

Omi sat in front of the sofa and touched Ayas hand; he knew that Aya needs them but he was unaware of the fact that Aya needs them so much.

"Aya" Yohji said in a gentle tone and kneeled in front of the sofa "Aya I'm here …" he added and caresses Ayas cheek.

Aya calmed down and his sleep were peaceful again "Aya wake up … only for a minute then I will let you sleep again" Yohji said serious but loving and shook Aya gently.

He opened slowly his eyes and needed a few seconds to get used to the light "Yoh-ji?" he asked sleepy.

"Yeah it's me … you need to drink something or you will dehydrate" Yohji explained and helped Aya into an upright position.

"I feel dizzy" Aya whispered and thought he will pass out "…."

"Aya stay awake …. Good look at me and now drink" Yohji gave Aya the bottle as he saw that Aya can't hold the bottle on his own, he put one hand behind Ayas back and he put his other hand on Ayas warm and pale one which held the bottle.

"Slowly … a little bit more" Yohji was worried that Aya drank not enough "try to drink a bit more ….and take the medicament it will lower your fever … I think it's enough for a while"

Aya nodded and lay down on the sofa again it was to tiring to sit and it was better for his stomach.

"Good night" Yohji said and kissed Ayas forehead before he sat down on the sofa so that Aya can rest his head on Yohjis lap, Yohji had as a precaution a pill against fever in his pocket.

"Don't look so troubled" Yohji said with a smile "he's ok"

"We couldn't calm him down" Omi said frustrated "we couldn't help"

"I think he was worried I will leave him… it wasn't because he don't trust you" Yohji tried to console the boys.

"Why should he think you will leave him … you're married and happy or not?" Ken asked a bit confused.

"The problem is I'm afraid of being gay … my insecurity makes him worry" he answered and tightened his grip at Ayas arm.

"You will learn it" Ken said cheerful "it isn't easy at the beginning but when he's the right one you will definitely learn it"

"Ken is right everything you need is time" Omi said and smiled "I'm sure he will stay with you even when you need a long time"

"I know" Yohji said happy "he said he will accept that our relationship is a secret… and I believe in him, he won't leave"

"And we will make sure you will stay together" Omi said serious "She will die and then we can live our family life in peace" Ken added; Omi and Yohji looked at him like he gone crazy "I knew you love us" Yohji grinned.

"I said nothing" Ken muttered with a red face "We haven't heard it" Omi laughed "right Yohji?"

"Right" he grinned "but I agree with you … with the thing we haven't heard"

"Ah shut up" Ken grouched and throw a few chips at Yohji, the boys laughed and even Aya gave them a soft chuckle, the arguments woke him so he heard the most things.

"Oh sorry for waking you" Yohji said cheerful, Aya touched Yohjis knee, he knew Yohji was ticklish there "I will forgive you" Aya said and pinched Yohjis knee gently.

"Hahahaa Aya stops it" Yohji laughed "I'm sorry I'm sorry" he leant forward to give Aya a kiss and a fiddly hug.

"I love you, love you, love you" Yohji whispered into Ayas ear in a happy tone and then he kissed Ayas soft cheek; Aya chuckled and was incredible happy, this was the family life he searched for so long.

"Your fever gone down … that's good" he added before he leant back and caress Ayas arm again.

"Aya, do you want something?" Omi asked with a smile "I have some soup left … and as dessert citron cheese cake"

"Sounds good" Aya smiled and watched Omi as he swarmed out of the living room into the kitchen.

"You already bought his favourite soup?" Yohji asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah we thought …. (hem)" Ken stuttered embarrassed, he wasn't good in showing that he cared for Aya.

"Thank you boys" Yohji smiled and upraised his bottle "long live our little family" they clinked their bottles.

"Amen" Omi said cheerful and put a tray on the table "hey Aya your food is ready" he whispered friendly.

"Thank you" Aya said sleepy, he rubbed his eyes before he sat up which made him look like a little kid.

"Yohji you can eat too, it's enough for both of you" Omi smiled and pressed the start button from the DVD player.

Aya could feel the warmth in his heart, he hadn't felt that loved for years, it was a great feeling and he decided to never give it away … never ever.

They spent the whole night together, Aya fell asleep soon after he finished his meal but the others watched movies and chattered happily.

"Ok boys we will go to bed and I think we won't open the shop today" Yohji said and gave the boys a little smile before he lifted Aya up "shh… It's me … don't worry I bring you to bed …continue to sleep" he said gently as he felt that Aya was afraid.

"The painkillers must be really hard stuff" Yohji sighed "but sleep is good for him"

"I think he's exhausted and the painkiller gave him the rest" Omi said and began to clean the table.

"but the next time I want his painkillers too" Ken laughed cheerful and he infected the boys with his laugh.

"Yeah I think it must be a nice trip … some pink elephants and plush bunnies" Yohji added while he held Aya in his arms.

"Oh that's creepy" Ken said disgusted and grinned "and now go to bed you look like he's heavy" Omi interfered as he saw that Yohji looked strained.

"Good night boys" Yohji said and went into his room "god Aya you're heavy"


	19. Im the uke

"Damn midday already" Yohji sighed and turned around to watch Aya but he wasn't there "where are you?!" he panicked and jumped out of the bed to get dressed.

He searched in Ayas room, the bathroom, the kitchen but he couldn't find him "Aya?" he shouted but got no answer "… the roof" he whispered to himself and was right.

"Aya "Yohji said relieved and hugged Aya tight from behind "I was worried you can't leave without a warning"

"Sorry" Aya said in a thoughtful tone "I needed some air and time to think" he put his hand on Yohjis large and strong one.

"What about" Yohji asked interested and rested his chin on Ayas shoulder "tell me … you know when you won't talk to me I will get on your nerves" he joked.

"I was happy last night ….. It was like a real family … I'm afraid of loosing it" Aya said in a sad tone and stared at the sky.

"We will stay a family" Yohji whispered and kissed Ayas neck "we will live together, we will fight together and we will be a family forever"

"I waited a long time for a second chance…" Aya mumbled and closed his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Yohji asked confused, he didn't understand what Aya meant with a second chance but he had an idea.

"The second chance for a family, the second chance to live … to feel alive and loved" and tears ran down his pale cheeks "I can't stand the thought of loosing the boys and exceedingly you"

"You won't loose me I will follow you in all directions" Yohji tried to console him, he could feel Ayas fast heartbeat and knew his beloved redhead felt fear "calm down"

"I love you" Aya sobbed and squeezed Yohjis hand.

"I know you do" Yohji answered in a gentle tone "and I love you too" and rubbed his cheek against Ayas neck.

"I worry too much" Aya sighed "I know that no one can destroy our family" but he didn't believe himself.

"You're lying" Yohji said serious "you don't believe in your own words, do you?"

"Why do you always know what I'm thinking?" Aya asked and laughed gently.

"You're my soul mate" he answered "and you can read my mind too"

"That's for sure" Aya said and turned around to face Yohji, he loved his emerald eyes and he could see the glitter of his will of live in it.

"Let's go back inside, it's to cold for you and it's dangerous outside" Yohji whispered and took Ayas hand to led him back into the house.

"I'm sorry for ruining the mood" Aya said in a tone full of guilt "we were so happy and now I ruin the feeling"

"You haven't ruined the mood, I'm happy when you talk with me about your thoughts and feelings then I'm less worried about you" Yohji said serious and fondled Ayas back gently.

"And I feel better after telling you all this" Aya said with a gentle and relieved smile on his lips.

"I quite believe it … and now I will treat your wounds and it's time for the medicaments" Yohji said thoughtful as they went back into the house.

"Yohji … Yohji I found her" Omi yelled through the house as he arrived at Yohjis room he was breathless.

"You found her?" Yohji appeared behind Omi and startled him near to death "damn it Yohji" he gasped.

"You said you found her" Aya pushed him with his tone "oh right, … but I think it's a trap it was to easy"

"What do you mean?" Yohji asked serious, he was nervous; it was a bad sign that she appeared now. With a bad feeling Yohji grabbed Ayas cold fragile hand and squeezed it tight.

"We couldn't find her but all of the sudden she appears out of nowhere" Omi explained.

"What shall we do?" Aya asked and the warmth of Yohjis strong hand gave him strength.

"I think we haven't a choice" Yohji said frustrated, he hated the feeling of being helpless "Omi call Manx we need her ok" he added before he led Aya into his room and let Omi alone at the floor.

"Yohji?" Aya asked confused as Yohji pulled him into the room "say something"

"S-sorry I got panic" Yohji stuttered "suddenly I felt fear so much fear" and took Aya into a tight embrace.

"I know what you mean" Aya said gently and caressed Yohjis back "you said everything will be all right"

"I'm not sure anymore" he whined "She's crazy and we can't foresee what she will do"

"We will do our best and we will use the time we have" Aya said serious and hoped it was enough to calm him down.

"I love you" Yohji said in a sad tone "and for the next days or weeks I will say it more often, who knows what will happen"

"I know that you love me so don't worry" Aya answered and pulled Yohjis head closer to give him a soft kiss.

"Why now … we start to be a real family, we talk with each other and you start to feel well again … the kids are more and more like our own kids" Yohji said angry and chuckled a bit at the last part.

"I think you gave the answer already" Aya said with a calming voice "I think she watched us and she dislikes the way our life changed and I'm still weak … if she waits until I'm fit again I will be too dangerous but now I'm as good as dead"

"Don't say that we will take care of you" Yohji said serious "we will try to stall the confrontation with her" he loosed his embrace and sat down in front of his bed so he could lean against the frame.

"Yohji you know that you can't safe me all the time" Aya sighed and sat down next to Yohji "It could be that she tries to take you with her into death … and that's the fact I fear the most"

"Aya let us stop to talk about it" Yohji whispered "I can't stand the thought … huh one moment ago I was the one who said you shouldn't worry and now…"

"It's ok to feel bad at a situation like that" Aya tried to console him and lent against his shoulder "you knew we can't impinge on the events"

"I know … I know …" he answered tired and wrapped his arm round Aya "please let me hold you for a while" Aya smiled and rested his head on Yohjis shoulder "of course you can"

Yohji held Aya against him and smelled his sweet scent; he needed Ayas presence, his warmth. He didn't know if he could hold Aya again so he used the chance to make more good memories, maybe it was the last chance to snuggle with him, to spend some time in peace.

"You have a fever again" Yohji noticed as he felt Ayas hot skin through his shirt.

"It's not high" he answered and with an elegant move he swung himself on top of Yohji, so he sat on Yohjis lap and kissed him "can we do it?" he whispered.

Yohji didn't answer, he only looked deep into Ayas eyes "I count it as a `yes`" Aya said and put off Yohjis shirt.

He kissed Yohjis neck and caress his strong chest "don't look so sad I promise it won't be our last time" Aya whispered into Yohjis ear and pressed Yohjis face against his chest before he kissed Yohjis head.

Aya could feel a soft chuckle against his chest "Ok" Yohji finally said and put of Ayas shirt very carefully.

Aya kissed Yohji with passion and fumbled on Yohjis trouser, before Yohji could realize it Aya removed Yohjis belt and bound his wrists together but he paid attention not to bind it around the injured part of his wrist.

"Aya what?" he stumbled "it's not like you" and looked at Aya with questioning eyes.

"Do you think I don't know that you like it" Aya grinned "Ok **you should** be the one **who tie** **me down** but I think that isn't bad either"

"You know a lot about me" Yohji smiled "…hnn" Aya opened Yohjis jeans and put Yohjis hot and already -------- #%# out of it.

"Aya don't stare at me" Yohji panted and watched Aya

"Sorry but it's my favourite sight" Aya said gentle "Jeans and naked upper body … that's one of the reasons I love the summer so much" he blushed.

"Then I hadn't imagined that some one was watching me" Yohji said with a big smile "nice to know that I had always your attention"

"That's so awkward" Aya sighed, with a red face before he took Yohjis #%# into his mouth; to shut him up.

Aya could hear Yohjis fast breath and he knew that Yohjis chest and belly rose in an erotic way, he loved the sight and feeling of the movements.

He sucked on Yohjis #%# while he touched Yohjis lower part of the back; Yohji felt really good, he held Ayas head to led him, it was everything he could do with his bound hands, as he felt Ayas hands caress --------------------------------------- he knew it was time to stop.

"Stop" he gasped "if you continue I will…" Aya grinned at him and pushed him to the ground; he held Yohjis hands against the floor and sat on top of him.

He gave Yohji a deep kiss his tongue entered his lovers warm and sweet mouth, Yohji kissed him back and struggled against Ayas strong grip.

"Yohji tell me what you want" Aya whispered into Yohjis ear "I do what you want"

Yohji blushed he often played the same game with Aya but he was never at the position of a uke before.

"I…" Yohji stuttered "I w-ant" he closed his eyes to find the strength to speak it out loud

"You want…" Aya said gently and caress Yohjis cheek with one hand and his other one massaged Yohjis ----------

"… I want you so badly" Yohji breathed, Aya smirked "what I can't hear you…"

"I want to f### you" Yohji said in a defeated tone; Aya stroke through Yohji soft and blond hair "good" he said.

Aya opened the button of his jeans and put it off, he sat again on top of Yohji and he could feel Ayas --------------- against his own.

"Aya untie me" Yohji begged "I want to…" Aya chuckled he knew what Yohji wanted to say "you want to be the seme again" Yohji nodded "You know what? … I prefer it to be **your uke**" Aya said and kissed Yohji meanwhile he untied Yohjis hands.

After Aya removed the belt Yohji hugged Aya and switched position "wow, you're fast" Aya laughed.

Yohji was now on top of Aya; Aya could see a little scar at Yohjis else so perfect body, he touched the scar gently "It wasn't your fault Aya" Yohji said serious.

"I throw my katana at you" Aya said ashamed but Yohji only smiled at him "I pissed you of and it was only a scratch and nothing serious" he said before he wandered down Ayas pale and soft body.

He saw the scar Aya got as he saved his life, he hadn't noticed that the scar was still so eye-catching, he kissed the large scar at Ayas thin waist "but that was something serious" he whispered.

Aya put his hand on top of Yohjis head and caress with one hand through his hair "**That** wasn't **your** fault …. It was my decision and it was worth it" Aya gasped, the feeling of Yohjis hot skin against his body made him hornier.

"Maybe it sounds stupid but I'm grateful to you for saving me" Yohji whispered "I had missed a future with you" he added before he took lube from the shelf next to him.

"I'm happy too" Aya smiled; Yohji turned Aya around so that he kneeled on all fours and Yohji could insert his fingers with the lube into Aya.

"Ahhh" Aya moaned in pleasure; Yohji watched Ayas movements, his back tensed as he inserted ----------------- and he stretched his long and sexy neck.

Yohji put his hands on Ayas waist and pulled him closer to insert his --------------- #%# into his beloved redhead.

It was hot and tight inside him; he sucked him in so deeply "hnn" Yohji moaned and ----------into his lover.

Yohji had one hand on Ayas back he could see and feel the movements of Ayas muscles with every movement he made.

Aya felt Yohjis #%# inside him; with every movement he felt how deep Yohji filled him.

He loved the feeling of Yohjis hand on his back, it was warm and sometimes he felt how Yohjis fingernails scratched against his skin "You don't need to be careful, you can leave marks if you want" Aya said breathless, Yohji never left marks before but at a situation like this Aya wanted marks.

"Really?" Yohji panted and smiled "I thought you don't like it"

"When it's you who left it … I love it" Aya said embarrassed and blushed.

Yohji pulled his #%# out of Aya and turned him carefully around before he bent forward "I want to see your face when you ----" he whispered into Ayas ear.

Aya spread his legs so Yohji could enter him again "I want to see your face too ….aaaahh" Aya moaned as Yohji ------ him, his #%# felt bigger then before.

Yohjis sweat dripped down on Aya, he loved the sight of Yohjis wet body and the movements of his muscles.

Yohji ------------- deeper into Aya, just to hear the redheads soft moan drove him crazy "I'm on my limit" Yohji panted and ----------- harder.

Aya put his arms around Yohji and pulled him closer "It's ok" Aya gasped and gave Yohji a soft smile.

Yohji ---------- deeper and harder "Aya" he said before he ---------- "AHH"

To feel Yohji twitching inside him before he released ---------------- inside him made him cum only a few seconds after Yohji. Aya digged his fingernails in Yohjis skin as his body tensed with pleasure.

Yohji felt Ayas hot --------- against his belly as it spurt out of him, he let him self fall on top of Aya and held him in a tight embrace.

They both breathed heavily and enjoyed the feeling of each other "I love you so much" Yohji panted, he could hear Ayas strong heartbeat.

"I love you too" Aya answered and pressed Yohjis head against his chest "we should take a shower"

"Give me a few minutes I don't want to let go at the moment" Yohji snuggled against Ayas hot and pale skin "I hope we haven't overdone it … you're still sick"

"Don't worry" Aya smiled "I'm always fit enough to play with you" and kissed the top of Yohjis head.

"That's true" he chuckled and sat up, he pulled Aya up and hugged him "before we take a shower I have something to do" he said serious and kissed the front-side of Ayas neck, he sucked at Aya and tasted his salty skin "now we can take a shower … you're mine" Yohji said satisfied as he saw the hickey.

"A hickey" Aya smiled "I like it … and with the scratches on your back you're mine"

"Good then we have clarified the details" Yohji laughed and took Ayas hand to lead him into the shower.


	20. Chained

"Omi can you give me the first aid kid" Yohji asked happy "It's time to treat his wounds"

"Why are you so happy?" Omi asked suspicious but he decided to forget the question as Yohji gave him a naughty grin "I don't want to know"

"I hadn't told you" he countered smart "Where is Ken?"

"He cleans the shop the girls left a huge mess this time" he sighed "Do you want to eat with us?"

"Yeah … I will take care of Ayas wounds and then we come down" Yohji said and took the medi kit Omi reached him "Thanks".

Omi watched Yohji and was relieved that they had a good time "they deserve it to be happy" he said to himself.

"Who deserve it?" Ken asked, Omi hadn't noticed that Ken entered the kitchen "Yohji and Aya" he answered; Ken gave him a understanding smile before he put an arm around Omis shoulder "We will take care of them"

Omi smiled and touched Kens hand "No one will interfere in our family business"

"Do you have an idea how we explain Manx order?" Ken asked worried.

"No, maybe we should tell it fair and square …" Omi answered "They will hate it"

"You're right!" Ken sighed "I have a bad feeling about it"

"Me too" Omi said concerned "me too"

"Aya sit down therewith I can treat your wounds" Yohji said in a happy tone.

"Afterwards… can you help me to take a book from the wardrobe in my room?" Aya asked while he sat down on the bed.

"Sure" Yohji answered "but I think at first we should eat with the boys … Omi cooked for us"

"Ok … I don't want to keep him waiting" Aya said and took a bandage out of the medi kit

"Aya **I** will take care of your wounds" Yohji said strict, he was confused as Aya smiled at him.

"The bandage isn't for me" he said in a mocking tone "you didn't take care of your wrist and after I tied you up… "

"You didn't hurt me you were really careful" Yohji said and patted Ayas head

"Even so I will treat your wrist" Aya said in his best leader tone "Ok – ok" Yohji laughed.

"It looks good" Yohji said happy "now it can heal … You will get back on your feet soon"

"Good I have enough …of being helpless" he answered frustrated.

"You're not helpless, if we need you … you will kick their ass as if nothing happened to you" Yohji said confident "… don't get me wrong, but I'm happy about the fact that you need me" he added ashamed.

"What do you mean?" Aya asked interested, why was it that important for him? He asked himself.

"You're strong, perfect and you're ahead of us … and I like the feeling that you need me … the feeling that I can take care of you instead of the other way around" he confessed.

"I always need you … I need your presence, your smile, your touch, your voice, your laugh, your cover, your warmth, your love …" Aya enumerated "Ok-Ok I understand" Yohji chuckled while he tightened the bandage around Ayas rib.

"Ouch" Ayas body tensed "I'm sorry but it must be tight" Yohji said and patted Ayas head again.

"You love it to pat my head…" Aya laughed "Oh sorry … sometimes you look like a child and I feel the urge to give you a feeling of safety" Yohji laughed embarrassed.

"I think **I am** still a kid" Aya mumbled; Yohji put an arm around Aya"What makes you think that?" he asked interested.

"I'm a strong adult, I'm cold and … not nice …but deep inside I feel insecure and lonely … deep down I'm like a scared little kid" Aya confessed

"You had to grow up to fast … all of a sudden you was an adult… you took ... respectively take care of Aya-Chan, earn money for the hospital bill and you kill people for her sake" Yohji said in a very sad tone, it was the first time he was aware of the fact how hard Ayas life really was.

"Your life isn't easier" Aya said serious "you lost Asuka, you lost your light and you killed drunk, flirt and had sex with a lot of girls to ease the pain"

"But I had the chance to be a kid and I found a new and a brighter light as the light I lost" Yohji explained while he caress Ayas cheek "Do you mind when I grow up slower now?" Aya whispered and looked into Yohji beautiful emerald eyes.

"Take the time you need … I love Aya" Yohji gave Aya a hickey at his neck "I love Ran" and gave him another hickey "and I love Abyssinian too" he gave Aya a third hickey near his collarbone "don't forget".

"I won't" Aya chuckled and touched the hickeys "I love my Yohji too"

"With all my mistakes …" Yohji asked shy; Aya pulled Yohji closer and decided to prove his love with a hickey "I love **my** Yohji" he said after he finished a big and flashy hickey.

"Life can be so nice" Yohji smiled "and now let's eat before Omi gets a heart attack"

"No" Aya said serious "your wrist …" and pointed at Yohjis arm "sit down"

"I forgot" Yohji sighed as he sat down on the bed "no you haven't forgotten … there is some blood it must hurt"

"No it doesn't hurt but when you're finished with me …" Yohji said in a mocking tone and gave Aya smart grin.

"Hey…" Aya laughed and punched Yohjis shoulder "I **can** treat wounds too"

"Maybe Omi should treat it…" he grinned at Aya "shut up before I forget how to treat a wound carefully" Aya menaced.

"Don't be angry" Yohji laughed and kissed Aya "I love it to tease you, your so cute when you pout"

"Can I take back that I said that I love you with all of your mistakes?" Aya said in a playful tone while he continued to clean and bandages Yohjis wrist.

"Sorry but it's too late" he grinned happily, he loved Ayas soft touch as he wrapped the bandage around his wrist.

"Damn it" Aya laughed "now I'm chained to you" he added and kissed Yohjis ring after he treated the cuts.

"Yes you are" Yohji said deadly serious.

"Sorry we made you wait but Aya wanted to treat my wrist" Yohji burbled.

"It's ok" Omi smiled, he preferred it that they came to late but happy as if they didn't come because they're unhappy or dead.

"Looks good" Aya said friendly, he tried hard to change into a kind person.

"Thanks Aya" Omi felt honoured, he loved it when they praise his cookery.

"We called Manx" Ken brace up his courage "we have bad news" Omi continued.

"Spit it out" Yohji said serious and put one hand under the table to touch Ayas knee.

"She spoofed her team and now the whole team will try to kill us …" Ken said frustrated "and we aren't allowed to kill her"

"WHAT?" Yohji panted as he choked over his food "What the hell does that mean?"

"Manx said that no one can use poison like her, she will be transferred to another country …. To make a long story short … they still need her"

"We're sorry" Omi said in a sad tone, he didn't like the idea that she will carry on doing her job under Kritikers supervision.

"It's not you're fault" Aya said understanding "we will find a way, when they won't help us, we will make the best out of it" he touched Yohjis hand on his knee.

"We will make a plan so don't worry boys, everything will be all right" Yohji said confident.

"Let's eat and forget her for a while" Aya ordered and continued to eat.

"Ok" Omi said and took a big sip of his lemonade, he was worried but he trusted them and knew they will come up with a good plan.

"Aya you look better" Ken detected and was happy that their leader was strong again.

"I'm fit enough to kick her ass" Aya gave them a shy grin and looked back on his food

"Yeah ... but we need more time, we know nothing about them and I won't send you into a battle …in your current condition…" Yohji said serious but Aya knew he was afraid of the thought to send him into a battle.

"I know I'm too weak" Aya sighed, he was ashamed that he wasn't able to protect his team

"Don't worry Aya a few days and you're strong as ever" Ken tried to console him "Ken is right" Omi added cheerful and Yohji squeezed Ayas knee.

They remained silent; they were concerned about the next mission and they asked them self disturbing questions, what will the future bring? Will they come home together or will they visit a funeral soon, will everything be all right or are they doomed.

"I go to bed" Omi said "I'm tired" he stood up and left the kitchen with a sad face

"Ken" Aya said worried "go after him, I think he needs you"

"You're right" Ken said and blushed a bit "good night"

"Good night" Yohji gave him a soft smile "Aya I think we have a big problem"

"That's understated" he sighed "we need a good plan and a wonder"

Yohji patted Ayas head "we will think about it tomorrow but today we enjoy our life"

"How long can we delay the fight … what do you think?" Aya gave into Yohjis gentle touch

"We will stay at home and arrange new safety measures" Yohji said "I think we can get enough time for you to get back on your feet"

"I hope so" Aya sighed "I hope so"


	21. Talk with me

"Aya where is the book you mentioned?" Yohji asked as they stood in Ayas dark and cold room.

"On top of the wardrobe" Aya said "I hid it from her"

On tiptoe Yohji roped for the book, he tried to feel it and after a while he found it "here"

"Thank you" Aya said and kissed Yohjis cheek before he sat down on his bed "I want to give this book to you"

"Why?" he said and sat down next to Aya "It must be important when you hide it"

"That's everything I could rescue from the fire" Aya whispered and caress over the cover of the book

"Fire?" Yohji asked "you mean the day your parents died?"

"Yeah …" Aya sighed and handed the book over to Yohji "I love you, and I want that you get it … it's a present" he smiled.

Yohji took the book and opened it, his eyes widened, it was a photo album.

There were pictures from baby Aya and baby Aya-chan, they were so cute Yohji thought as he saw how they looked into the camera with saucer eyes and chubby cheeks.

Then he found a picture from Ayas first day at school, he looked ashamed and terribly shy.

"On this picture I was fourteen, it was a hot summer and we went to the beach" Aya said nostalgically as Yohji reached the middle of the album.

"You look so happy and carefree" Yohji said and caress with his fingertips over the picture "I never saw this kind of look in your eyes"

"What do you mean?" Aya asked and lent against Yohji, all the memories made him feel terribly sad.

"They're warm and happy" Yohji answered and rested his head on Ayas "and I reminisce all this years and drowned in self-pity but the one who really suffer is you"

"Pain is pain" Aya said in a soft tone "it doesn't matter how many loved ones we lose, how hard our life is or how shattered we are… pain never changes"

"I will ease your pain … I promise I will ease your pain" Yohji swore and shut the album gently.

"A life without unbearable pain? … It would be nice" Aya whispered "but when I'm with you it's already bearable"

"I will bring your warm aura back" Yohji said and kissed Ayas cheek, he could see that the memories were hard to bear.

"I know you will … you're my rainbow" Aya said tired and fell asleep, the memories, the events and worries of the day made him tired.

Yohji lay him down and flipped through the photo album again; he couldn't believe that the cheerful and shy boy on the photos was his Aya.

"I wish **I** had killed Takatori" he whispered to himself before he lay the album aside and snuggled up to Aya.

Aya woke up after six hours of sleep; he didn't sleep that good for weeks and he was sure it was because the talk with Yohji lightened his heart.

"Good morning" Yohji said in a soft tone and watched Aya with sleepy eyes.

"Sorry" Aya sighed and turned around to face Yohji, he felt as if he owed him an apology.

"Sorry?" Yohji asked confused "for what?"

"I fell asleep while we talked" Aya said and gave Yohji a weak smile "the memories made me sad but on the other hand I felt good to talk with you about them"

"Sometimes it's important to talk" Yohji said and wiped a strand out of Ayas face "and you can always talk to me when you have something on your mind"

"I think from now on I won't lock up my thoughts and emotions inside me" Aya gave him a sad smile "now I know I need your support otherwise I will break apart"

"I give you everything you want" Yohji took Ayas hand into his own and kissed the pale and fragile hand.

"Do me a favour and talk to me too" Aya said serious "I want to know you better … I want to support you and I want to be there for you"

"**You are** always there for me and support me … and you know I talk without thinking … when I have something on my mind you will notice it" Yohji answered "…. And I'm the one who should say sorry"

"Why you didn't do something wrong" Aya said surprised, he couldn't find a reason for Yohji to be sorry.

"That's the point I didn't do a thing …. I did nothing" Yohji sighed "I didn't support you … I wasn't there as you needed me the most … I didn't notice that something was wrong and I was always angry at you without to try to look behind your mask"

"I could have told you what I was thinking" Aya looked at him with guilt in his eyes.

"Don't blame yourself … don't do that" Yohji said vigorous "It was really my fault don't blame yourself for everything … It's not the fault of your personality … nor the fault of your existence"

Aya nodded and looked deep into Yohjis eyes; He looked like a little kid that got scolded by his mother, Yohji thought.

"Aya you don't blame yourself for blaming yourself do you?" Yohji raised an eyebrow.

"…" Aya wanted to say `no` but he shut his mouth again because it would be a lie.

Yohji gave Aya a soft chuckle and put his arms around him before he snuggled closer to his redhead "What shall I do with you, huh?" he said friendly and kissed Ayas soft lips but Aya said nothing; he closed his eyes and enjoyed Yohjis warmth.

"I think the time and love will fix it" Yohji whispered and tightened his hug "oh sorry" he said as he felt Aya tensed a bit as Yohji tightened the hug.

"It's ok … my rib is a bit sensitive today" Aya said and took a deep breath.

"Because you have a fever again" Yohji said as he touched Ayas forehead "your body had a lot to bear"

"Yeah there is a limit to everything" Aya winced as he shifted a bit, he hadn't noticed it earlier but he lay the whole night on is broken rib and now as he moved from time to time he could feel it.

"Do you want to watch a movie again …. How do you feel about this?" Yohji asked concerned, he wanted to spend his time with his beloved redhead and wanted to make him happy even if they only watch a movie.

"Sounds nice" Aya said with a smile "you don't need to imitate the night we spent with the boys … to be by your side… feel your warmth and love is enough for me"

"Really?" Yohji asked worried but Aya nodded confident "feelings and gestures are mighty" Aya said and stroke through Yohjis soft hair.

"You're right" Yohji said soft "………… I think it's time to make a plan" he added frustrated, their relationship was finally good enough that Aya talked to him and they stopped to act against each other, now they're a team, a real couple; but no instead of a happy family life they had to make a plan of action.

"To tell the truth I have no idea" Aya said thoughtful "we know nothing … at first Omi should hack Kritikers database or Manx is helpful and will give the informations to us"

"Manx and helpful" Yohji chuckled "but who knows …"

"Ok we will collect informations and then we will see" Aya sighed "because I don't know what to do"

"It's no use" Yohji said in a soft tone "To rack our brain I mean" he added as he saw the confused look at Ayas face.

"I seldom feel so helpless" Aya said frustrated "I'm the leader … I have to make a plan, I have to be strong…"

Yohji sat up as he heard Ayas hard words, he stretched himself out of Aya but he paid attention not to hurt him more "Do you lost the faith in yourself?" he asked shocked.

"I … I don't know … I think I lost my way **or** I'm only out of practice" Aya tried to change the subject but he couldn't fool his lover.

"When you don't believe in yourself then **I** will believe in **you**" Yohji said and stared with serious eyes at Aya but he could also see gentleness and worry in Yohjis eyes.

As Aya didn't reply Yohji rested his head on Ayas warm chest "We have a long way to go"

Aya put his hands on Yohjis back and pressed him against his body "Sorry" he said

"Don't say sorry" Yohji said and looked up "I want to go the way to safe your soul … It's absolutely worth it"

"Maybe it's really a good thing" Aya said and smiled; he watched Yohjis reaction, he wanted to know what he thought, what he felt.

"You try to see through me…" Yohji smiled "Don't worry I said the truth I never lied to you and you know that"

"I know" Aya gave him a sad smile "I'm the liar"

"Don't do that again" Yohji sighed "You didn't trust me enough to tell me everything, you forgave me everything because you love me and the fact that you hid your feelings was my fault … so don't dare to blame yourself ever again" Yohji said and grinned "you understand?"

"I understand … I won't blame me anymore … ok to be realistic **I will try **it" Aya said, now he felt better, he knew it wasn't a good thing to kill the mood every time but he needed it to talk.

"I like it when you talk to me … sometimes it's hard but we need it and now our relationship is …. Like a relationship" Yohji laughed and felt relieved, he knew it was necessary to talk, they're killers and they have a bad past, it was important to let everything out and Aya needed it the most.

"I love our relationship how it is now" Aya smiled "I feel alive and more human"

"That's great … it's a beginning" Yohji said and looked at him, it was a great sign that he helped his Aya to be happy, it meant there was a chance to safe his soul.

Aya watched Yohjis beautiful eyes as he got an idea, his eyes widened and he considered if he should tell Yohji what he thought.

"Aya what is it, you looks so pale all of the sudden" Yohji asked worried, he couldn't understand what happened one moment ago was everything still all right.

"I have an emergency plan" Aya said serious, he pulled Yohjis head near to him and whispered plan B into his ear; Yohjis eyes widened in shock.

"We will think about a great plan A" Yohji said "I don't like plan B"

"But it's only …" Aya tried to explain but Yohji didn't want to hear it "I know but I don't like it … on the other hand the plan isn't that bad but…" Yohji sighed.

"Then we will try to get rid of them in a different way" Aya said with a weak smile and caress Yohjis cheek.

"Plan B huh?" Yohji murmured "I hope we don't need it"

"No one will be hurt with plan B …more or less… so where is the problem" Aya asked serious.

"I can't stand the thought that you would play dead man and attack her when she's unwary" Yohji explained "I know it's a good trick when someone hurt you during the battle … and you play dead but at the last few months I almost lost you a lot of times and I don't want to see you `die`again"

"That's it?" Aya asked in a gentle tone "that's the reason? … but you know it's an act"

Yohji hugged Aya tight, he didn't take care of Ayas wounds this time "I don't want to think about it … I don't want to see it!" he listened to Ayas strong heartbeat.

"I understand" Aya answered and tickled Yohjis neck; he was ticklish when Aya caress his neck gently with his fingertips and Aya knew it was a good way to escape the gloomy mood.

"Hahaahaa Aya stops that" Yohji whined, he was too sad for something like that but he couldn't deny that his mood was better.

"I hope the whole mess will end soon" Aya sighed "we start to be …. Soft"

"Yeah I prefer to fight with you" Yohji grinned "but sometimes it's inevitable to talk"

"Yeah I know" Aya laughed "but it's more fun to fight with each other and drive our boys crazy"

"You're right that's fun" Yohji smiled and rested his head on Ayas warm chest.


	22. Crisis

"Hey boys" Yohji said cheerful "Everything ok with you?"

"Yeah it's ok" Omi answered but it was a lame attempt to lie.

"Uhm … o-k" Yohji said iffy "Can you postpone to feel depressed and do us a favor?"

"Sure" Omi said and reached Yohji a cup of coffee "what can we do?" Ken asked interested.

"Ask Manx if she can send us the files from Chikas team and when she says no you will hack the system" Yohji said happy and grinned at the thought of Manx facial expression when she will notice that Omi had hacked the system **for the umpteenth time.**

**"That's a job I like" Omi smiled and felt relieved that he had a new job to take his mind off his worries.**

**"It sounds like a plan" Aya said he lent against the doorframe and watched his team,**

**"You have a better idea?" Yohji mocked and the boys thought they have trouble again.**

**"No you're mister super brain" Aya teased him "but even a blind man may perchance hit the mark"**

**"Huhuuu mister I'm so great again" Yohji bitched and the boys fled out of the kitchen.**

**"I forgot how much fun it is" Aya chuckled, Yohji stood up and put an arm around his redhead "Super brain huh?!" he looked at Aya with a played hurt look.**

**"Even you can be intelligent … sometimes" Aya said and lifted a brow.**

**"Hahhahaa oh I missed that" Yohji said and gave Aya a kiss "Come on let's clean the shop for the kids, the last time I looked at It, it looked like a catastrophe"**

**"I missed the flowers" Aya smiled and was happy to get something to do "don't slip on water again" he chuckled.**

**Yohji looked surprised at Aya, he didn't expect that he makes fun of something "Take care of yourself I don't want to carry you with a broken leg to the hospital" **

**"Ooohh I like it when you carry me" Aya made puppy eyes "Where did you learn this?" Yohji asked and blushed; he had suddenly the urge to carry Aya to the bed.**

**"From you" Aya said and watched Yohjis reaction "I do this?" Yohji asked innocent.**

**"Oh yeah you do" Aya answered but Yohji still played clueless "when?" he asked.**

**"When you made a mistake and want to say sorry like when you come home late, when you drank too much, when you smell of perfume or when we fight or before we go on a mission when you want to make sure I will come home OR when you want sex …" Aya numerated,****Yohji broke in on him "Ok Ok I understand" Yohji chuckled "You know me really good"**

**"Of course, I have spent a lot of time watching you" Aya gave him a playful grin.**

**"Oh" Yohji pulled him closer "you mean shirtless when the weather was too warm"**

**"No chance" Aya brushed his lips against his before slipped out of embrace "Work no sex"**

**"You're mean" Yohji whined "You did it on purpose"**

**"Yep" Aya grinned at him before he left the kitchen.**

**Yohji smiled, it was nice to see him like this. Maybe the problems they had were good for the relationship. Aya opened up to him and he changed back into Ran …near him.**

**"Hey Ran what is…." Yohji stopped as he reached the shop, someone sprayed with big red letters "I'll make you regret" on the wall.**

**Aya looked absentminded while he watched the scene in front of him "She's better as I thought" he knew Yohji stood directly behind him.**

**Yohji patted the redheads head "Don't worry" he grabbed one of the towels and tried to get rid of the hurtful words. **

**"It's useless" Aya laid his hand on top of Yohjis "We have to paint the wall"**

**"Why can`t she stop, she will hurt you more and more" Yohji sighed but was surprised as he saw the gentleness in his eyes.**

**"She can`t hurt me more then she already has" Aya looked serious like always but his icy aura almost vanished "There is only one thing that could break me and that`s to lose you"**

**Yohji felt his heart flutter, he knew he was important to him but to actually hear it was so touching and sad at the same time "I promised to follow you and I won`t break the promise" he touched the left side of Ayas head and pulled him closer into a long and loving kiss.**

**"Let`s start to clean up before Omi will get an heart attack" Aya panted after they broke their kiss "Yeah I think that`s better" Yohji looked at the mess.**

**"We changed the passwords and locks, I don't understand how she did it" Yohji interrupted the silence.**

**"That`s a good question" Aya picked some flowers up, she demolished every vase which were filled with roses and orchids "but I know that we can`t hide any longer … like she proved us" **

**"You`re not fit enough" Yohji watched Ayas movements and wasn`t satisfied with what he saw "maybe we can still stall for time, somehow"**

**"I think it`s time to fight, I don`t want to hide anymore … I want to see the sakura trees" Yohji could see a bright glitter in his normally icy violet eyes, it was a rare event to see more then emptiness or sadness in his eyes "We will see them soon"**

**"I know" Aya gave him a slight smile before he threw the poor flowers into the trash bin.**

**"Oh my…" they heard Omis shrill voice "What happened?"**

**"I think she doesn`t like flowers" Yohji joked to ease the mood. **

**"That`s not funny" Omi looked around, his eyes widened as he noticed the graffiti "When someone will regret something then it will be her" he grunted, the older boys were surprised it was strange to see their `youngster` like that.**

**"We didn`t find traces for a break-in" Aya explained but didn`t stop to clean the floor.**

**"One of the team members is a hacker and another one can pick almost every lock" Omi replied "Ken prints out the documents"**

**"Let`s meet in twenty minutes at the kitchen" Aya ordered.**

**"Ok" Omi rushed back to his laptop.**

**"We need the whole day to clean up" Yohji sighed "but it`s a good distraction … when you ignore the wall"**

**Aya chuckled "Let`s make some tea, we can finish it later … we can make plans and discuss details while we swing the mop"**

**Yohji nodded in addition to a big sigh before he grabbed Ayas hand and led him into the kitchen.**


	23. Preperations

**"Ok we have Akihito, he can hack every system and in addition to that he's experienced in dealing with a bow. Second: Is Kei he can pick every lock and he has a wire which function like a tazer, that's a live wire… not bad."**

**"Omi don't forget he fights against us not with us" Yohji reminded him.**

**"I know" he scratched his head "The third is Hitomi, she uses guns … she's able to use every kind of guns …. We didn't get pictures, Chika and Kei deleted their documents and Manx told us everything she knows about them"**

**"That's bad" Aya looked gloomy, he didn't like what he heard and was sure they will run right into a trap.**

**"What do we do?" Ken asked thoughtfully.**

**"I think we have no other chance as to run into their trap" Yohji lent back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest.**

**"I got the blueprints of the warehouse, they have three entrances, the windows aren't easy to reach and the warehouse has two-levels" Omi explained.**

**"I think it's better we stay together, we know nothing about them but I`m sure they know exactly how we work" Aya took a sip of his tea.**

**"When?" Ken asked while he looked at the blueprints, Aya looked at Yohji and wasn't sure when the best time was.**

**"We don't have a lot of time, they were here already" Omi nibbled on his cookie "In two days?" **

**"Two days should be enough for Aya" Yohji watched the red head and was sure he could fight in two days, he could kick their asses but he hated the thought and tried to find a reason to remit the showdown.**

**"Two days, then" Aya nodded "I need some practice" he stood up and left the kitchen.**

**"I will go and train with him before he will overdo it again" Yohji smiled at the boys and grabbed one of Omis cookies before he ran up the stairs.**

**"Do you think Aya is fit enough" Ken asked while he pulled Omi closer.**

**"They will find out" Omi sighed "Yohji will test him and when he's not fit, Yohji will lick him into shape … in case of dire emergency we can barricade the house or flee to Villa Weiss, the main thing is to keep them safe … to keep Aya safe from her"**

**"My mother hen" Ken kissed the top of Omis head and gave him a gentle smile.**

**"Let's train together" Aya heard Yohjis loving voice and turned around to glare at him, he didn't need help … no he didn't want help, he was afraid he could be weak.**

**Yohji lent against the doorframe while he watched Ayas elegant movements, he was beautiful when he led his Katana with a deadly precision "Don't glare at me, it's easier to test if you're fit enough when you fight against a real person"**

**Aya put his Katana aside and prepared himself mentally for the first real fight after weeks "Ready?" Yohji asked after a while, he didn't like the look in Ayas eyes, did he lose his self-confidence?**

**Aya looked at his lover, suddenly he pounce at Yohji, his fist missed Yohji cheek only by a hairbreadth. Yohji was surprised as Aya tried to hit him without a forewarning but his assassin reflexes were good as ever. Yohji moved to the side and grabbed Ayas wrist, he turned the redhead around, with an elegant movement he freed his wrist, grabbed Yohji and turned his arm around so he could touch his own back.**

**Aya stood behind him and he could feel his hot breath against his neck "I think two days are enough" he was a bit breathless.**

**Yohji didn't want to hear it, he wanted to prove that it was too early and so freed himself "No" he hissed before he attacked the redhead. This time with more force and even his movements were faster than before. Aya had problems to dodge the blows but he did well, Yohji was frustrated it couldn't be, after everything he gone through, he couldn`t be fit again.**

**Aya tried hard to stay upright, he felt like his legs will refuse to work soon but he had to be strong, he had to take part in the fight, he had to protect his family.**

**Yohji noticed Ayas heavy breath and used his advantage; he took all his strength together and increased his speed. This time Aya wasn't able to dodge the blow and felt how a hot pain shoot trough his body as Yohjis fist made contact with his stomach.**

**Aya fell to the ground and gasped for air "hn", Yohji felt guilty for hurting him but needed a reason not to fight; he needed him by his side.**

**The pain faded and he could feel how his whole body ached, he knew he was in a bad shape and needed a lot of practice to be the old Abyssinian but he was sure he was still good enough to kick her skinny ass to the moon.**

**A soft embrace pulled him out of his thoughts, Yohji had taken him into his arms and caressed his back "Sorry" he said calm.**

**"I'm good enough" Aya said and rested his head against Yohjis shoulder "but I need a bit more practice"**

**"I know" Yohji cursed in his mind, he had no reason to hold him back, he had no choice as to fight in two days. Aya could feel the tension "You're disappointed" he detected and knew he was right as he saw his lovers face.**

**"What?" Yohji looked at the redhead, he thought he hid his feelings well but it looked like he was quite wrong.**

**"We will end the whole mess in two days, I have a strong will when I want, I won't lose against her" Aya vowed, he hadn't the intention to surrender "You're mine"**

**Yohji gave Aya soft smile before he helped him "Yours"**

**"Is he fit?" Omi asked with a strange expression and as he saw Yohji angry face he knew the answer "He is" he added, Yohji nodded "We have to work out a plan, we have to save him"**

**"I know but you should know that we can't protect him, we can't give him a 100 percent chance to survive"**

**"I know that" Yohji opened the fridge and took a beer "but I want to believe in it"**

**"We have no idea … I think we have no other chance than to run right into her arms"**

**"I'm afraid so" Yohji took a big sip, he closed his eyes for a moment. He felt tiered and was almost at the end of his tether. He didn't get time to rest and he knew if he surrenders, everything will be lost … he will lose everything he had in this meaningless world.**

**"Where is Aya?" Omi asked while he studied the blueprints for the umpteenth time.**

**"Training" Yohji said simply "I said he can train for two more hours" he added as he saw Omis reproachful gaze "You had no chance to put him off doing this, or?" Omi grinned omnisciently.**

**Yohji sighed defeated "Absolutely, not a chance" Omi chuckled, that was their leader.**

**"Hey" Ken sat down next to Omi "Family powwow?"**

**Yohji thought about it and noticed that he was right "Yeah, I think it is" he chuckled and took a sip of his beer.**

**"Plan?" was Kens short question but he knew better as their faces fell "No plan"**

**"No but we make the best out of it" Omi smiled, he decided to believe in his words and their abilities.**

**"Nice to know" Aya interfered with a barely visible smile which only Yohji could see because he knew the meanings of his facial expressions.**

**Aya made a cup of tea and settled down next to Yohji "Family powwow?" **

**Aya looked puzzled as they started to laugh at him "What?"**

**"Ken asked exactly the same … and yeah you're right, it is" Yohji patted the redheads knee.**

**The mood was alleviating, it was so easy between them**

**_~ It is a nice feeling to sit together like a family. No tensions, no worries even if it's only for a few moments. My heart feels warm and my soul feels like the happiness glues the shards back together. I can't believe that these people were his comrades, his family. Every one carries a heavy load but even though they're able to laugh, to smile and to love … to love me._**

**_I have to do something … She will kill them … I won't tolerate an attack on the life's of my husband and our kids, she will pay it doesn't matter what Manx say_**

**_I won't lose my beloved ones again….Aya-chan…Ran nii-san I want this …. Mum and dad said we got to a restaurant on my birthday… ..... Nii-san I met a boy I like him so much…._**

**_Ran …. Nii-san……..Ran, Aya-chan come home it's late and cold….._**

**_No not this time only over my dead body ~_**

**Yohji pulled Aya gently out of the flood of thoughts in his maltreated mind "Ran, are you all right?" he squeezed his knee.**

**"Huh? Oh yeah I'm all right, I remembered something" he gave him a sad half smile and devoted himself to his cup.**

**Yohji observed him carefully and decided that there was something wrong with him, the look in Ayas eyes made him worry. Yohji knew he will keep an eye on his lover before he did something stupid again and he had a notion what was going on in his mind.**

**"Do you want to watch a movie with us?" Ken stood up and prepared a tray with popcorn and lemonade.**

**"Sure" Aya confirmed, he was in the mood to spend the afternoon with them, maybe their last.**

**Yohji sat down on the sofa and pulled Aya as close as possible, the redhead rested his head against Yohjis shoulder and pulled his legs up to stretch them out on the sofa, the floor was too cold for his liking. Yohji put an arm around his lovers shoulder and with his other hand entangled their fingers together, Yohji rested his legs on the table but Omi ignored it this time.**

**Aya closed his eyes and enjoyed Yohjis warmth; he knew it was the last time. He won't let the kids fall during his fight and he won't accept that she could try to take Yohji with her into the realm of the dead. **

**_~ But is it ok to leave him alone in this world? Will he understand? You won't forgive or? Have I another choice to save you? I don't think so. You're my love, my world, my life. ~_**

**Aya could feel how Yohjis slender fingers stroke through his hair. He felt so tiered but now wasn't the time to sleep or to give in to Yohjis soothing touches. He stuck to his decision, he would keep them safe.**

**Yohji kissed the top of Ayas head, a premonition crept into his heart and soul "Aya?" he asked gently but Aya fell asleep against his will. He pressed the redhead against him with the intention to never let him go.**

**After the second movie every one slept at the living room, Yohji still lay on the sofa with his feet on the table. Omi snuggled deep into his arm chair and Ken sat on the other side of Omi, his head rested on his arm and his feet rested next to Yohjis on the table.**

**Aya awoke and tried to free himself from Yohjis embrace, after he stood up without waking his lover, he watched them for a while. Aya covered Omi up with one of the blankets as he saw that the boy shivered "Good bye" he whispered and vanished in the darkness of the night.**


	24. Fight

**Aya straggled through the cold night, his skin was pale and cold it almost hurt.**

**The darkness, that was his world, to merge in the shadows and spill the blood of countless people. The coldness and loneliness his closest companions in this icy world**

**_~ I will miss you my light … my rainbow ~_**

**He whispered before he entered the warehouse.**

**"Abyssinian" a vile voice echoed through the darkness.**

**"Chika" he answered cold while he looked around to locate her.**

**The light switched on and she appeared on the other and of the warehouse.**

**"Time to end this" Aya watched her while he tried to locate her teammates.**

**"That's Abyssinian?" a male asked a few meters behind him "I thought he will be a real man and not a girly"**

**"Akihito" she hissed, Chika tried to hide the fact but she was afraid of Abyssinian.**

**"What?" he answered nonchalantly "He isn't as weak as he looks like" she warned him.**

**"He is beautiful but a jerk" a young woman said, she stood on his left side.**

**"You were at the shop" Aya detected cold; she made Yohji jealous and risked his marriage.**

**"Oh you remember me but I didn't except something else of a pervert like you" her words dripped with venom.**

**"Oh Hitomi, don't be so harsh I mean he will die for what he has done" Kei appeared to his right.**

**"So now is killing time" Chika chirped but a loud bang interrupted her.**

**Aya turned around and saw the cause of the noise "Balinese?" he gasped.**

**Yohji and the boys entered the warehouse, they looked gloomy and totally awesome, every one stepped back as they saw them.**

**"Chika" Yohji roared "Don't you dare", they stopped next to Aya.**

**_~ They came for me, they came to safe me. I couldn't protect them_****_, I wasn't carefully enough I failed … I failed ~_**

**"Don't you dare to blame yourself" Yohji whispered into his ear.**

**"Why do you protect him?" Hitomi screamed "He's a rapist"**

**Yohji and the boys looked shocked, was that the lie she used to convince them? It was a terrible thing to say, it was a sin to say it about their leader.**

**"I never …" Aya started but Chika broke in on him "He was jealous of Yohji because I love him and he loves me, so he took what he wanted … he took my body and shattered a part of my soul … but you couldn't erase my love for him I will never love you Abyssinian" she cried and sobbed, she was an great actor.**

**"Stop it" Yohji yelled at her "stop playing the victim … I never loved you back and I never will … I have already someone I love and this person isn't you"**

**"Kill the rapist, I want to see him die" she screamed furious, their teammates were confused because Yohjis reaction didn't matched with Chikas story but they believed her, why should she lie and she really looked like she was afraid of him.**

**They decided to attack them, the primary goal was Abyssinian and they knew to hurt Balinese was taboo, the boys were only `collateral damage`.**

**It wasn't easy to dodge their attacks; they were fast and a great team.**

**Aya dodged Kei`s wire in the last minute and started a counter attack, he caused a deep cut on Kei`s side, the young man gasped but didn't want to give up.**

**Yohji had problems with Akihito he used his arrows to stop him from moving; Yohji knew he won't kill him but he also knew that he wasn't as safe as he hoped for.**

**Ken and Omi had a lot of problems with Hitomi, she was fast and a great shooter and it took all of their abilities to stay alive. Omi shot an arrow and hit through her arm "One weapon left" Ken grinned "Nice shot, can you hit the other arm too?"**

**"What do you think I try?" he was indignant at the comment "I know" Ken said before he tried to approach her but he wasn't fast enough and a bullet grazes his leg.**

**"Ken!" Omi yelled and shoot an arrow but failed, Aya turned around to look at them.**

**He sprinted to the boys and surprised her from behind, he knocked her out. Aya didn't want to kill her; she did everything because she believed he hurt a member of her team.**

**A wire wrapped around Ayas upper body and gave him a surge "Ahhh" he screamed in pain, it wasn't enough to kill him but it hurt like hell.**

**Yohji heard Ayas scream and watched his lover sink to the ground, his face filled with pain.**

**"Aya" he tried to run but a arrow perforated his shoulder but he ignored the pain he pulled the arrow out before he stared at Akihito "When he will die while you keep me away from him, you will pay for it twice" Yohji shot his wire at him and strangled him until he closed his eyes and fell to the ground … unconsciousness. He didn't want to kill him, it wasn't right to do that.**

**Yohji ran to his lover and distracted Kei enough so Aya could slice the wire; he needed all his power to use his aching muscles.**

**"Are you ok?" Yohji kneeled in front of him and watched him with worry filled eyes.**

**"Yeah I'm ok" he answered, his eyes widened as he noticed the wound on Yohjis shoulder.**

**He raised a hand and tried to examine the wound "No time" Yohji grabbed his hand and pulled him up before he gave him a kiss they turned around and now they stood back to back while the enemies rejoined their little war, Yohji squeezed Ayas hand tightly. **

**Chikas team stopped their attack, they realized that Chika had lied to them, the redhead couldn't be a rapist, he held the hand of the other man as if he held the candle of life in his hands. Ready to protect the fire from the cold wind and the darkness but at the same time they could see experience mirror in his eyes. He was young but he had a lot to bear.**

**"I give up" Kei said and pulled his wire back before it reached the redhead.**

**"Me too" Hitomi put her weapons away "and you Akihito?"**

**He lowered his bow "Chika, you lied"**

**"No I didn't" she tried to save the situation but failed.**

**"You did" Yohji interfered "You tried to kill him at least six times"**

**Their eyes widened "What?" Hitomi gasped "Chika?"**

**"He's in the way … he has to die" she yelled "but he's too strong when he's healthy … I thought it was enough to kill you or at least to make you weak enough but you survived everything. How?"**

**"I don't want to go … not now" Aya said cold and caressed Yohji fingers with his thumb.**

**"Ahhh … You drive me crazy" she glared at him dangerously "He's mine"**

**"No … mine" Aya emphasize the `mine` particularly and gave her an icy glare.**

**"No" her breath was heavy "He can be mine … when you're out of the way"**

**"I won't give him away" Aya shook his head slowly; Yohji released his hand and tried to talk with her.**

**"Chika" Yohji stared at her "Do you really think you can change my feelings?"**

**"Yes" she gasped "Do you really think you can be a part of our family?" Omi hissed while he bandaged Kens leg.**

**"I don't need you, I only want him" she screamed and a single tear escaped her furious eyes.**

**"But we are a family, you can't change that, please Chika … understands it" Yohji tried to use a softer tone.**

**She started to shiver while she tried to suppresses an angry outburst**

**_~ It can't be …. It can`t. He`s mine … mine alone. I saw him first, I loved him first. I did everything for him. I killed and killed only to be near him._**

**_I won't let you go, you're not gay you will come with me even if I have to take you with me to heaven ~_**

**Chika pulled out a little needle and throw it at Yohji. Aya watched her and tried to read every expression she made, his alarm signals rang as he saw a devilish smile on her lips while the tears started to dry. He saw the needle and ran forward "Yohji" he shoved himself in front of the blond. The needle dig deep into his shoulder, she wanted to throw the needle right into Yohjis heart but Aya wasn't as tall as Yohji and that prevented the direct hit.**

**Ayas eyes widened it burned like fire; his whole body felt like it was burning "Help me" Aya sunk to the ground. Yohji wrapped his arms around the redhead and stopped his fall. They sank together to the ground.**

**"Ran" he said gently, he could give his whole attention to Aya because Ken and Omi arrested the damn girl while she cursed about the redhead.**

**"Hurt" Aya snuggled deep into Yohji embrace "I know … I know" he stroke through Ayas sweaty hear "Manx gave us an antidote before we left to find you, she said she can't promise that it will work"**

**"Then …let's try" Aya felt sleepy and it was hard to keep his eyes open, his body burned but he started to feel cold from the inside.**

**Yohji gave him the injection and hoped it will work; Manx came as they wanted to leave the house. She said they had a list of the poisons she used, for Kritikers safety, their doctors made an antidote for all the poisons they knew she used or could use and if Chika was stupid enough not to change the potion or make completely new creation it will work, if not …. they will die.**

**Yohji watched the redhead and pressed him against his chest "It's ok" he said soft, it had to be all right.**

**He saw Ayas tired eyes and his pale skin, only his cheeks were lightly red because of the fever the poison caused. Yohji rested his chin on top of Ayas head and closed his eyes; he didn't like what he saw. The blond did something he didn't do till Asukas death because he had no reason anymore but now … he prayed to god for his lover to live.**

**Chikas team looked at them; they couldn't believe that Chika had tricked them all. They thought she was a friend so they wanted to help her but everything they had done caused a loving couple pain … they caused a family pain.**

**Chika had a big smile plastered on her face, she was incredible happy, to die with Yohji was only emergency plan and thanks to the redhead she reached the original goal.**

**"Yohji? Is he all right? Please say he's all right" Omi yelled while Ken gave her a smack on the head for grinning about their pain "ouch, bastard" she hissed but Ken ignored her.**

**"I don't know" Yohji still felt Ayas breathe and heartbeat but he wasn't moving.**

**"Balinese" a loud voice roared through the hall "arrest them, Doc take care of Abyssinian" the voice ordered before she turned her attention back to Yohji.**

**"Manx" he was surprised to see her "Were you worried we could ignore your orders?"**

**"That too" she said cold "How is Abyssinian?"**

**"I don't know" Yohji said truthfully, the doc stopped next to Aya and started to examine him.**

**"Since when do you leave the hospital?" Yohji asked her, he never saw her on the battlefield.**

**"He's my patient" she said while she continue her work "The antidote is working, I'm sure if not he were already dead. He's only K.O, go home and rest … after I take care of your**

** shoulder" she detected the blood which glittered on the dark coat.**

**"NOOO" Chika screamed "he can't be alive … aarrgghh" she struggled against the grip of the Kritiker agent.**

**"We will send her away, she will work in the USA … and never return" Manx said "but I don't know what we should do with the others"**

**"They're a good team, let them stay together" Yohji looked at them "We let them live because we esteem it as wrong to kill them, they wanted to help each other"**

**Manx smiled, when Weiss said they're good then they are good and it would be a shame to kill them "Ok" she said finally "we will search a new member for you"**

**"We still can work together?" Hitomi gasped, she thought they signed their death sentence as they turned against Weiss.**

**"Yeah, say thanks to them" she pointed at Yohji and Aya.**

**"It was the truth when you said the redhead is married, am I right?" Hitomi asked, she began to understand the day at the flower shop.**

**Yohji entangled his fingers with Ayas so their rings touched each other "He's mine"**

**She smiled at him; the other members of the team were surprised they never thought it could be true. As Hitomi came back from the Koneko and told them that the redhead was ostensible married they almost laughed at her but now the feeling of guilt was strong.**

**"When you need help, call us, we will be there" Akihito added for her, he knew what his Hitomi thought.**

**Chikas eyes widened she couldn't believe what she saw, matching rings. She felt betrayed how could he marry him? She was sure Aya was too strong for Yohji, he couldn't escape the damn redhead**

**_~ You're his prisoner … I'm sure. You can't love him you're only by his side because he forces you to. I will free you … one day I will set you free ~_**

**"One question, you fight hand in hand and are strong but who is the leader?" Kei asked he never saw a team which fought with equal rights.**

**"What do you think?" Omi asked him while he sat down next to Ken.**

**"The one they call Balinese" he answered unsure "or?" he asked his comrades**

**"Yeah the blond, he's strong" and Akihito nodded.**

**"What is the job of a leader?" Ken asked.**

**"Plan a mission" Kei said simply but it wasn't enough "And?" Ken asked again.**

**"To keep the team safe…?" Hitomi joined their little `question and answer` game.**

**"Yeah" Omi answered for Ken "and who was the first one here? Who saved Siberian and Balinese? Who would do everything for the team?"**

**"The redhead" Akihito concluded "He came without you knowing …?!"**

**"He did" Yohji smiled sad "and we will have a looong talk when we're home"**

**"It isn't as if we didn't know he will do this" Omi chuckled.**

**"Chika, you're a catastrophe as a leader" Kei said disgusted.**

**"Tch" she spat "I'm not stupid enough to sacrifice everything for lousy subordinates"**

**"That's the reason you won't get a new team. You will be the subordinate" Manx delighted in her misfortune and one part of her heart wished her death.**

**"We will go" Manx and her `clear up` team vanished in the dark of the night.**

**"Keep it in mind" Omi said before he helped Ken up "The position of a leader means more then to make plans and dominate"**

**Yohji lifted Aya up and was relieved as he felt Aya snuggle up against him "Let's go home, I'm tiered" he gave them a small nod before he left the warehouse with his lover in his arms.**

**"Tell me one thing" Hitomi stopped Omi "Why is she so afraid of him when he is a good man?"**

**"He's Kritikers best killer" Omi answered "It is a privilege to be a friend but horrible to be an enemy"**

**"When Kritiker says kill then he will kill without mercy" Ken added serious.**

**Chikas team members were stunned; it was a shock because the description didn't match with what they saw "Why are we alive?" Kei wanted to know.**

**"The right priorities" Omi said without to look back.**


	25. Home

**After they arrived at home they went directly to bed. It was an exciting night maybe it wasn't right to feel excited but somehow it was always thrilling. Maybe they lost a part of their humanity already but it didn't matter to them as long as they were together and could share the demons.**

**"Tonight you will sleep with me in my room again" Yohji told him while he hoped for an answer.**

**He smiled at Aya as he laid him down and began to change his clothes "Oh" he said soft to the unconscious redhead. Aya had small burn marks where the wire made contact with his perfect skin "They will heal fast" he stroke carefully over the marks before he covered him up.**

**Yohji looked out of the window and let the night pass in review. Aya had sacrificed his own safety for them … for him. What should he do to prevent something like that in the future? Could he keep him alive until the end of their days? **

**_~ I want to grow old with you by my side. But you make it difficult for me to keep you safe._**

**_I know we're important to you but the same goes for us, we don't want to lose you, can't you understand?_**

**_I can't live without you … I don't want to. Asuka … tell me what can I do not to fail miserably again like I failed to protect you … ~_**

**It started to rain, the raindrops dripped sadly against the window and played their wistful song.**

**_You don't know either, huh? We will find a way … ~_**

**He took a deep breath before he settled down next to his lover and put an arm around his waist, he wanted to avoid the burns. Aya rolled around and snuggled against Yohjis chest and put his arm around the blonds waist. **

**"Are you in the mood for cuddling?" Yohji was amused as he noticed that Aya was still asleep and didn't know what he did "You're a big child" he chuckled "love you baby" **

**Yohji fell into a peaceful sleep while he held his destiny in his arms.**

**It was still early in the morning as Aya woke up with shock**

**_~ Where am I? …. Yohji_****_s room so we won? ~_**

**He looked at the sleeping figure next to him and was relieved that he was alive**

**_~ You brought me home … good ~_**

**Aya lay back down and sighed in relieve before he closed his eyes to sleep a bit longer.**

**He rested his head against Yohji shoulder so they won't break the contact between their skin he loved his warmth.**

**They awoke only because Omi knocked on their door to tell them that lunch was ready.**

**"Aya" Yohji shook him gently "wake up baby, come on"**

**"Ok … ok" he mumbled sleepy "How are you?" Aya opened his eyes and examined Yohjis shoulder.**

**"It's as good as new" he smiled at him "I was worried I won't see your beautiful eyes again" Yohji stroke Ayas cheek before he stood up to put on his clothes.**

**Aya joined him and helped him to put on his shirt because of the wound "Hm, it seems that I know the situation from somewhere" **

**"Don't remind me of that" Yohji poked gently against Ayas chest "How do you feel?"**

**"Good thanks to you and the boys" Aya left the room, he was hungry and happy to get something to munch.**

**Yohji followed him after a few minutes, he needed a bit time to sort out his thoughts, he was worried about Ayas behavior it was strange that he feigned nothing bad happened.**

**Aya poured tea into a can "Aya sit down" Yohji ordered, they boys looked stunned.**

**Aya did as he was told; Yohji stood in front of him like a worried mother "Why did you do that?"**

**Aya blinked confused "What?" he hadn't thought Yohji would make a tantrum like that.**

**"You know what I mean" he pulled a chair in front of Aya and sat down therewith he could face him directly.**

**"I thought they were stronger so I decided … I don't want you to die for me" Aya looked as if he wasn't interested in it.**

**"We knew you will do something like that" Yohji rubbed his hands nervously "Can't you understand that we try to protect you but we can't when you're uncooperative" he grouched "Believe it or not but we love you and were sad when you die"**

**Omi and Ken left, they knew it would be easier for Aya to talk when their alone.**

**"I know you love me otherwise you had left me behind" Aya answered casual.**

**"Aya!" he yelled "Do you want to leave me so badly?"**

**"No" Aya whispered "I wanted to protect you, I didn't want her to take you away"**

**"Ohh … and how do you think I feel?"**

**"Sad" Aya said shy "but you're able to find a new lover" Yohji could see in his eyes that he meant what he said,**

**"What the heck do you mean? That you die and I run around to find a replacement for you? Do you really think that?"**

**"You lost Asuka and then you found me" Aya watched him to analyze his reaction.**

**"You know how I felt after her death and I needed a long time to open my heart again and I don't have the intention to lose you too. I love you more than I loved her and I absolutely refuse to give my heart someone else"**

**"I hoped you could go on, I mean I'm your second chance after all" Aya knew Yohji told the truth "You're everything I have, I never had a lover before and I never lost a lover but I know I don't want to lose you, too. I weren't able to find a new lover when I had lost my rainbow but you … you got a new life and I think you like the life with me"**

**"I don't like the life with you I LOVE it" Yohji took Ayas hands in his own "and I don't want a third chance and I don't want someone else … never ever"**

**"But I'm so scared" Ayas hands were trembling "what if you die? I can't live without you, I need your smile your voice and you're the only one who's allowed to see through my masquerade because I love and trust you with all my heart"**

**Yohjis eyes widened with joy, Aya said he trusted him with his whole heart, he earned his trust back, completely "You trust me, I got your trust?" **

**Aya saw Yohjis mood lighten up and realized that he had deprived him of his trust "Yeah, I trust you … I will be careful, when you make a promise" Aya looked serious, he wanted to hear it again "Don't you dare to leave me alone in this world, I can't survive on my own"**

**"I promise" Yohji pulled him closer into an embrace "and I know that you can't survive without us" he gave him a soft kiss "oh and don't you dare to shove yourself between me and the enemy again" he cupped Ayas cheeks "But she had …"**

**"Hush!" Yohji looked deep into his eyes "I don't want to stay alive when I have to pay with your life"**

**Aya flung his arms around his neck and held onto him as is if he could die when he let go.**

**Yohji was sure he heard a little hick up "Ran" he whispered and stroke through his hair to console him "She tried to take you away" he gasped with a muffled voice "She will come back … I know it"**

**"I'm still alive and thank to the antidote you too" Yohji answered reproachfully "Manx will make sure that she can't come back"**

**"Liar" he tightened his hug "I'm not a liar but I hope she won't come back and I try to believe in it" Yohji knew Aya was right but he had enough of worrying so he decided to erase her from their life.**

**As Aya calmed down and his eyes weren't red anymore they got the boys end started to eat.**

**After a while they talked about soccer, homework, food and DVDs they could watch.**

**They decided to spend the evening together, they wanted to play games and watch one or two movies. It was like a little family reunion.**

**"Manx called they sent her to America she will join a team with a very veeeery nasty guy as leader" Ken gave them a cheerful grin.**

**Yohji smiled at the thought "She will have a nice life" he mocked.**

**"I'm glad" Aya said cold and didn't looked up from the newspaper, Yohji smiled as he remembered his promise "Ran take your jacket we make a short trip" he took Ayas hand and dragged him out of the house.**

**"Yohji" he gasped "What…" but he couldn't end his sentence as Yohji gave him the brightest smile he ever saw "Sakura trees" he said before he opened the door from seven "The season is over soon, so we go now"**

**Ayas eyes gleamed and Yohji knew he was happy. Aya didn't think they will go to the park, he thought it was a promise he will fulfill after years …if ever….**

**They drove a little bit more than an hour before they reached a park.**

**"Do you see the house, there? Near the bus stop" Yohji asked and pointed at a nice one family house "Yeah" Aya tilted his head.**

**"That's the house of my parents" he said with a sad undertone, Aya gave him a gentle gaze "Do you want to see them?"**

**"No, I think they believe I'm dead" Yohji stared at the house for a while before he paid attention to Aya again. Aya squeezed his hand but let go almost immediately "Let's go into the park" **

**Yohji missed Ayas hand and wondered why he let go after a few seconds; he remembered that it wasn't the first time he did it. **

**They walked between the Sakura trees in silence, Aya enjoyed the view and understood why Yohji liked this place so much.**

**Yohji didn't pay much attention to his favorite trees; his eyes were glued on his lover. He fell behind and watched Ayas elegant movements before he grabbed his photo camera as Aya was far enough away he called out for him "Aya" **

**Aya turned around as he heard Yohji calling his name. He was surprised as he saw the camera and decided to give him warm smile.**

**Yohji took a picture from his smiling lover, it was the most beautiful he ever saw. Aya looked at him with a warm smile and the wind let the blossoms dance around him. It was a beautiful contrast to his pale skin and blood red hair and Yohji could swear he saw his violet eyes beam at him. **

**"Let's go to the little sea" Yohji said happy, Aya was sure he never saw him smile like that. It was so true and innocent.**

**The park was full of little families and happy couples, it made Aya a bit sad because he wasn't able to show his love to the world but Yohjis happiness was more important than his selfish wish "Where is the sea?" he asked after a while.**

**"It's in the middle of the park" Yohji gleamed, it was the best day in his life …well the second best, the best was still his marriage. Yohji saw the look in Ayas eyes every time they passed a couple and knew he wished he could do the same, holding hands and kissing in public. He knew Aya said it was ok to have a secret relationship but was he really happy with that?**

**_~ You want to hug me in public, am I right? You want to be one of them … I can feel it every time you let go of my hand before anyone can see._**

**_Maybe it's time to let go of my worries and my pride of being a ladies' man at least I showed Chikas team who he belongs to … but what will the world say, will I be a freak or someone they despise ~_**

**Aya saw that Yohji was lost in thoughts so he decided to let him brood a bit longer. He stopped in front of the sea and admired the beautiful colors. The sky mirrored in the water, the sun started to sink and the sky turned pink, orange and a shade of violet and so did the water combined with a soft glitter which looked like diamonds.**

**Yohji snapped out of his thoughts and watched Aya, he took a deep breath before he approached him.**

**He hugged the redhead from behind "Beautiful isn't it?" he said gently.**

**"What do you do?" Aya tried to escape his hug carefully "What if anyone sees us?" **

**Yohji tightened his hug "It doesn't matter anymore" he stroke a strand of hair behind Ayas ear, he wanted to catch a sight of Ayas pale face before he rested his chin on his lovers shoulder. **

**"Are you sure?" Aya asked and laid his hands on Yohjis, he pressed them harder against his chest as if Yohji could change his mind.  
"It's time to take responsibility for my family" Yohjis decision was definite, he had to be strong for him and it was time to stop hiding.**

**"It would be a lie when I say I wasn't relieved" Aya tilted his head against Yohjis.**

**Yohji smiled, he didn't think it was that easy all the time he thought he couldn't do this but now Ayas happiness made up for all his worries.**

**They stood there for almost half an hour and it started to be chilly "It's time to go home" Aya shivered.**

**"Yeah" Yohji took Ayas hand with a smile. As they walked back to the car Yohji watched the people around them and noticed that no one despite him or looked down on them. He was relived, it was true all his worries were for nothing, it was a shame he waited so long but now was better than never.**

**"It's cold" Aya sighed and his breath condensed "I look forward to our warm bed"**

**"Hmm I think I have a better idea" he grinned dirty and bent forward to whisper into Ayas ear "Do you ever had sex on the washing machine, Ran" Aya shivered as Yohji hot breath reached his ear, he blushed at the thought to have sex on the washing machine but he liked the idea … very much.**

**He could feel the thrill creep down his spine "No but I think you will show me" he smiled seductive before he gave Yohji a soft and playful kiss "Let's go" he breathed.**

**Yohji didn't need to be told twice; he searched his car keys and opened up the doors in high speed. Aya never saw him with so much élan … he hoped Yohji will show so much élan when they arrive home, he snickered dirty……**

**End**

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**Thank you for reading this story =)**

**If you wondered how I got the idea for the you're my rainbow thing I got inspired by the song Over the rainbow by Globe.**

**Oh and a big THANKS to Layla - xd for all the nice reviews *hug***


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